bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125358
 11.03.2016
I love my wife very much. And even if I were offered to choose with whom you want to spend the night, your wife or Angela Merkel, I would choose Lenocka.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №125357
 11.03.2016
I speak to the man with the backs. Judging by the courses, you bought them again. If you are going to sell, write here in a week, please.and :)

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125356
 11.03.2016
It was at the institute. Faculty of History, if any. One type of beauty admired in the mirror, complaining about her hair. The following dialogue:
- Deyeva-chikiya, or maybe anyone knows a good remedy for measles?
I know. Guillotine (smile as a joke)
and TAA? Does it really help from scabies?
I keep smiling, I am surprised that she doesn’t get to it. R – once and forever!
and TAA? Probably in French? And expensive?
F-FF... well by name French, yes. Probably not cheap...
I went to the shops looking for it. I would like to see.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125355
 11.03.2016
"The reason for such a long evacuation of people was the lack of technical equipment in the personnel of the contracting organization.
How did they become a contractor? in their neck.
Bourgeois: They probably only have a bank account in the equipment.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125354
 11.03.2016
How I am bombarded.
Two funny comments invented, I look at the comments - and there they already are
Go along with your pattern thinking.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125353
 11.03.2016
Not so clearly:

The girls
A girlfriend accidentally burned, pouring tea rarely to her former lover:
P (looking at the seal on his finger): Oh, you had a ring like a black stone... (thinkingly) Or don’t you?
Captain Evidence: Yes, girlfriend, it’s crazy + Tell me who your friend is and I’ll tell you who you are.

A joke on the subject: The ladies at work talked about the husbands, the question about the temperature of the eggs. One says “in my warm,” the other, the third... One says “and I don’t know.” The next day he came with a finch. She replied: "I checked the temperature of my eggs and asked why all the males have warm eggs and he has cold eggs."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125352
 11.03.2016
News on 4pda: "Apple patents the "Home" button made of liquid metal"
xxx: t1000
YYY: The old good T800 will do it anyway.
XXX: If you do not bet on a new firmware
zzz: the old good 3310 generally spoils all)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №125351
 11.03.2016
A crazy CD-ROM again.
And the cooler cools the former wound.
Why did you get into Linux?
Is it not in your pocket?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №125350
 11.03.2016
I wonder, in the tattoo salons demand so much exceeds the supply that the masters are scattered by work?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125349
 11.03.2016
In my life there are a lot of ups and downs.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №125348
 11.03.2016
Did you go to a potato shop?

and yes. Is it all ruined?

No, she’s all cabbage. Go further.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125347
 11.03.2016
dreamed
Tagged with "bird" It infects computers, but its host programs are on the drum, it only feeds on worms. It collects pieces of code from them for self-improvement, to better and more efficiently penetrate through any protection, clears everything and moves on, leaving behind a completely healthy computer.

Have they not invented it yet?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125346
 11.03.2016
Freud: Tax deflation

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №125345
 11.03.2016
In general, the ass loves a soft bed, a warm bath, gentle soap, expensive underwear, rather than adventure. But who asks her...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №125344
 11.03.2016
Do you have problems with alcohol?
and yes.
Do you want to talk about it?
What to say. You need to run to the store, already 21 30, and there is no bubble in the stock.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125343
 11.03.2016
In the main, they are not those who have no brains, but those who know the difference between the salary of an engineer and a carpenter. And also those for whom it is more important to feed the family, rather than scratching their pride and the sense of self-dignity. And also those who like "physical work" more than "mental work", because the result is right before you, and the stress is less. And I write in quotes, because the separation is absolutely conditional and only the paphos debils think that the tokaru does not need to think (and does not know), and in the office only the papers are translated.
P.S Those who can’t do anything more, the “three-leggers,” also, sometimes, go to the tiles. Or, sometimes, to the ped, because you do not know how to do - go teach others. There are no bad professions, there are bad professionals.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125342
 11.03.2016
Is the elite lombard for the elite poor?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125341
 11.03.2016
Is this an abbreviation of the word nahuy?
and no. This is New York...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №125340
 11.03.2016
I woke up later than usual and was in a hurry. On the back of the chair, where I have laid off my clean clothes since the evening, there is nothing, everything on the floor, and on it, swallowing, spotted with dirty legs and roasted with red wool, lies an unknown thin cat.
The question:"Who are you, monster?"
I replied with a roasted meal.
Husband, flegmatically mixing tea:"And what, you like to sleep with the windows open, love those who come through them into your life...")

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125339
 11.03.2016
This is an interesting case. You come to the tattooist, you want a butterfly on your ass. And he’s like "No-No, I’m an artist, go to the craftsman!". You go to the salon cheaper, but there are no craftsmen either. And they are not at all, all the artists, even Vasya, who made the machine of string yesterday and today is already collet.

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