I just learned from my mom that my brother is contributing so much to the sale of chocolate milk in a local supermarket that they asked to notify them when he was leaving college so they didn’t accidentally buy too much.

When I was a child, my parents forbade me from eating fast food, and most often I tried it on the trains when I was on the sea. I then dreamed, ‘Look, I will grow up and eat this delicious snack every day!’ Well, the dream has come true, but somehow it’s not happy.

I put the goods in the box. Suddenly from somewhere above, right on the tape falls a small size spider. I dumbly study the joint leg after which by inertia I speak Cassirche.

Don’t break the spider, it’s not mine.

- And we are our employees and we are not going to break through, - the cashier answers me in the tone.

xxx: Some programmers use the fountain method to de-order the code. To do this, you need to put a toy duck on the desk (or present it) and explain in detail line by line what the program should do. By resorting to this method, the programmer often encounters a demanding error, which he did not notice when viewing the code in the development environment.

WOW: Yes, I almost do that.

I only have a timid instead of a whirlwind.

My uncle, who never lived in the village, had to run out of town, to the village, all ecologically clean, work in the garden, get out of the cellar in the morning to the threshold, drink milk from the pot and wipe the beard with a sleeve.



He wore his brain for several years until he managed to break out into a real village for a week. And there it turned out that the village is a dull, illuminated physical labor just to not die of hunger. I went back to the city and I never heard such stories from him.

My husband and I have 20 years of life together. I’m preparing a gift and, of course, in the depths of my heart, I’m waiting for a gift.

My husband just called.

The next man, I am.

Hi, don’t work on Sunday.

A surprise, a surprise!

M- Well, in some way, my mother called, we will go to the cemetery, to me the site to transfer...

Thank you Mom, the surprise was good 😉

xxx: What pills to throw in to make Keanu Reeves materialize nearby?

Tagged: blue

Well now I’m with the stand, but without Keanu.

YYY: He was lucky today.

The nephew asks, “What will you give me?”

I: And you are me?

She: The Painting

I: I painted you.

She: I don’t need a drawing at all.

I: What do you need?

It is a smartphone.

I : well. I will draw you the best smartphone!

My grandfather worked as an assistant mechanic.

Once, a small station opened near a village. There is a train on the rails, a scene was built near it, where an important uncle tells the people about such an important event. They listened mostly to women and children.

And then my grandfather looks out of the train and cries, “Come away, grandmother! The train will turn!”

People rushed out of the train. After a few seconds for them came, everyone laughed, and began to pull back to the stage.

My grandfather went into that joke.

It was served by Captain Anton Haritonov. He was able to serve in two parts before us, but there his position was reduced. Eventually he reached us. Then I asked him somehow:

and Anton! How was the housing in those parts?

Neither in that apartment nor in the other. But I liked the second more!

That is why?

"Well, in the first part, I was told: write a report, get in line, submit a certificate of form No. 1, other documents, and maybe someday the turn will come. The second one asked, “Are you married and have children?” No is! Go to fuck! It was quickly decided.

This incident happened 10 years ago. After a serious injury to the back, I went to work under an employment contract in a state organization for the position of an IT specialist. The money was paid ridiculously, but captivated by a clear list of duties and the ability to implement all my ideas without paranoid and contradictory information security instructions (at least I thought so when arranging for this job).



The problem of most state organizations is a very scarce IT budget, with amazingly grand tasks and plans. It is necessary to turn around and heal in all ways in the implementation of all the "hotels" of the management. Employees, who are eventually loaded with more and more work in the implementation of these grand plans, begin to conflict with IT specialists and often organize a serious sabotage of innovations.



At work, it was discovered that five employees did not have personal computers. More precisely, they were in the form of obsolete or unworking system blocks. The server was overloaded and needed to unload it as much as possible to spread non-profile tasks on other machines. The task was not trivial, but unexpectedly we were brought a sensory information board stand in anti-vandal performance. The tablo was proudly called “Information Kiosk”. The heart of this kiosk was a very good motherboard with the ability to organize a RAID-massive of 6 SATA disks and a rather very shaky processor. The special software kiosk worked only on Win-XP. Since the computing power of the kiosk most of the time stagnated, in the conditions of a shortage of free computers, I was decided to use them to the maximum for my work (and it was possible to run the miner). It was added two hard drives of 160 GB. The information kiosk has taken over the function of the main antivirus server as well as a network resource for the temporary storage of automatic backup of user data.



Night backup data scripts used the kiosk capabilities to the maximum. Since in HR the number of simultaneous access to the network resource is limited to 10 sessions, night backup had to be carried out in stages. Every hour, dozens of computers were "awakened", files and databases were archived, which were copied over the network to the disks of the kiosk. In the morning, the results of the night copying were transferred to the removable disk, which was carefully hidden in a iron box called a safe.



Two weeks later, periodically unexplained failures began to occur in my network – some backups, or even all stopped being copied to the disks of the kiosk and had to be taken over the network manually from users’ computers. I could not find an explanation for this problem. The test launches worked very well. You come in the morning - the kiosk is working, available on the network, not hanging, but the logs indicate the reason for the failure - the unavailability of the network resource. Initially, I was guilty of hanging an eight-port switch (switch), through which the kiosk was connected to the internal network. I had to put a whole cable from the server to the information kiosk and the problem disappeared for a while. Ten days later, she made herself known again. But now it was visible that the kiosk itself restarted at night due to a power outage. Well, that’s the problem for the “charming lunches.” I managed to lock the 1000th uninterruptor into the body of the kiosk and the normal backup operation was restored. I rejoiced – I achieved my own and solved all the problems that arose.



But two days later I was, gently speaking, disappointed. One of the guards complained to me. I prevented him from sleeping at night. This guard was a former officer and was well acquainted with computer networks and computers. It turned out that the night active operation of the kiosk caused the transition of its fans to enhanced mode of operation. The noise prevented him from sleeping.



First, he calmed the fans of the kiosk by disconnecting the eight-port switch, and then found an automaton in the electric shield that cut off the 220V power at the kiosk. But the interruptor I put inside the anti-vandal body caused him a feeling of tremendous indignation. As soon as he cut out the machine in the shield, the noise of the fans was added to a loud and boring scream of the interruptor that immediately appeared and finally deprived him of his night's sleep at the "fighting post".



The management ordered me to improve the ventilation in the anti-vandal body of the kiosk so that the mental balance of the guard post would not be disturbed at night.



This case was one of those that forced me to rethink my approach to the principles and rules of information security.

My parents usually blamed me in all my street fights. They said, “If you hadn’t helped, you’t have been hit.”

One case I will never forget. In our courtyard lived an 18-year-old schizophrenic, healthy even for his age, not to mention compared to us, 12-year-old boys. His peers naturally joked, especially because of his craving for not quite adequate things (coming up, squeezing people under their feet, laughing to give someone younger and say "joke"), but we sometimes played football with him, etc.

I was relatively new in the courtyard and especially with no one I had friends yet, some were stumbling, some "propiska" and, apparently, he decided that he also has the right to dig up to me, regardless of the age difference.

The guy just approached, struck me with a fist on the head, turned away and went. But at the next moment he had already rushed to his entrance. In a moment I understood why.

I still remember a father who, when he saw it in the window of the first floor, jumped out of the window, ran after him, and when he blocked the entrance door with something, the 50-year-old man jumped out, grabbing himself for a piece of armor coming from the wall and piercing the glass over the door, like the main character of the film "13 district" and jumped through it into the entrance. A couple of seconds later, the shizoid broke out from there, and the shizoid flew out of the entrance door (still locked with something). From comparing his skull to the asphalt he was saved by my fledgling mother, who stood up in front of him and began to swear to the Father Christ God not to kill him. Since then, the guy was going home as soon as I went out to walk in the yard.

For their child and for women, some fell, and for men even more. Do not be angry, Dad.

There is no such nonsense that the deputies of the State Duma of the Russian Federation would not have formed in the form of a law.

Yesterday was a story about how proudly it sounded: a Soviet citizen.

My friend’s grandfather bought a Harkov electric shaver in the 1980s. The shaver did not shave, but shrugged the scarf. The Marriage.
Grandfather packed this shaver and sent it to the factory by the manufacturer, attaching a note:
“I’m not asking for a change of shave, I’m not asking for a refund. I want only one thing – that the Chief Engineer of your factory should shave with this shave.”

I sent a good message with an apology.

Two grandmothers are talking at the entrance.
Have you heard of the garbage reform?
of course. They were then renamed the police.
Not about this!