From the Twitter of the President of Belarus:

@persident_by President Beralusi

Many here say that Lukashenko changes the date of birth every day. For the hundredth time I say, a person has only one date of birth. Maximum of two

At work, you can call me. They will take the tube and say: “Gads... zoo, herpetology department.”

Now even to go to skype you need to paint =(((

The goal of the U.S. Federal Reserve has been revealed - soon the U.S. government debt will overload uint64 and automatically fall into all the compasses of the world, no one will owe anyone.

During my childhood, my mom prepared a cake on December 31 which was eaten with the onset of the New Year, after midnight, so, in our family, the tradition of eating last year’s cake was born :)

News on the Yandex: Putin dive with aqualan and found ancient amphores

So I imagine the dives submitting these amphors)))

The GDP!
Only submerged and immediately two ancient amphores of the 6th century. C inventory numbers of the local landscape museum.

From the news about the growth of the Earth's population:
Rapid population growth of 1 billion. up to 3.6 billion. It is characteristic of African countries. As it turns out, the already felt shortage of water and food in the region is not an obstacle to this.

One of the first comments:
Distribute TVs and compasses to Africans. Birth rate will fall sharply

Putin dive with an aqualance and pulled out two ancient amphores from the bottom.
And you are still asking "why Putin crab"

Oleg sent an official note by electronic: I ask you to issue me for a business trip there in the following volume: 17 600 r (ten thousand rubles.00 copies), namely: 500 r. - on mobile communication, 4500 - daily. Total of 5000 r

We watch with his son the Matrix, the famous scene of fighting on travelling trucks - everyone flies over cars, Neo saves Morpheus and so on.. the wife passing past the TV, looking at the screen, says instructively, Vlad " Here you see, everyone does the exercise!"

to all:

Continuation of the topic

The best way to check a man
Fidelity is to ask a sleeping husband in the morning.
The question:
Will you go with me or will you stay with me?

The male brain on the machine will choose the option, so as not to wake up and go anywhere!

Any of the answers offered will be phallus.

I have to answer, yes, Mom, I’ll go now.

Picture in the city park:
A 5-year-old girl, dressed in pink rolls, runs on the ground for a pigeon.
The girl has a cat in her hands, with which she tries to intimidate the bird.
And the cat unwillingly hanged his legs and it was written on his mouth: shameful shame! But the pigeon doesn’t even fly away, but just runs away, as if realizing that it’s all damn.

XXX is
You have a good friend.
YYY
that such
XXX is
The ventilator broke.
XXX is
And we disassembled it, took the propeller and attached it to my back and with the puppets we went through the offices we knock in I ask and you have a warranty.
XXX is
They are not in the oasis and here I take the mouse of the fiancé and I say they flew, the little one goes on and they see the propeller.
I am still a dust dust dust
YYY
It is good :)))
XXX is
Nemo scene and wild knock at the door
XXX is
Fucking hot

I sit with the new staff in the same office and grow: she demanded that all candidates for all positions pass through her. Interview a boy for the position of a compiler:
You see, the computers we have are all modern, thin, so collect them quickly...
But the guy was good, unlike the rest of the candidates, courageously holding back the rust =))

Dionysus: She must be stubborn and enduring, she must be able to drive my offspring away from the big predators while I am hunting. In the evenings at the fire, she should be able to chew all kinds of parasites out of my wool and throw them into the fire! But not all, some, she should be able to cook for dinner. And most importantly, she must be able to cook food from literally everything. Take the example of hexagon, they have poisonous and radioactive meat, but if you cook it properly it is very delicious... The girl of my dreams runs quickly and gloriously jokes, using cold and firearms. So, no ryucheek and ryucheek, miniature and heels, 5 higher education and artificial lighting, all of this - fpisdu.
The King of Jokes: Judging by the signs your girlfriend is named - Sylvester Stallone))))

I will call my wife. I know about the sea.
See also: Fuck
Write his name with the big letter, fool!

From the news:
Putin tries himself in new professions
The Prime Minister examined the ancient cave, tried himself as an archaeologist and made a diving on the seabed, where he found two amphores of the sixth century.

aaa: "The stick will be such that the customer will forget about everything in the world"
bbb: The amphorae, probably half a day, was scattered by aqualangists across the coast.
ccc: The current profession is clearly not suitable for him. And here are the valens to ride in the area for him right...
DDD: What a fool has let him run out!!! to

to help:
The situation is this - at the entrance to the venue began to gather emo and began to carry out their sitting there. On the window, they listen to depressive music, and with their appearance chase into the thirst of passing residents. On verbal remarks react sluggish, take references from a psychiatrist, etc., I am very sorry guys. I would like to hint somewhat subtly that life is not a cause for sadness, for which I would like to spray there a sufficient amount of "rejoicing gas" or something like that. Anyone know where to buy it?

If I don’t change my memory, nitric oxide (N2O), which is also a fun gas, can be purchased in auto-tuning stores. Only he is expensive, an infection. In other words, good luck ?

There is an increasing sense that the Arabs invent children's names by riding them on the keyboard.