bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №117189
 11.08.2015
The price of oil is falling worldwide, but gasoline is falling. Why so?
YYY: Because we do it not from oil, but from greed.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117188
 11.08.2015
A month ago, the management promised to change our working phones for more reliable (egg tubes at the construction site often break and the network is often not seen). It happened today!
Today, all 50 people received new phones!
They called everyone and distributed simple white boxes. and heavy. When they opened the rubber in the office it stood such that the walls trembled. In the box was a Chinese Nokia 3310. Blue, green and pink.
We are looking forward to objects...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117187
 11.08.2015
by Fuck:
____________
both of them. Trahatso has to travel, do anything, and they are who are dumb in the series, who are dragging in toys. % of the new generation.
____________
The fucking generation is lovers of telling others what and when to do. It would be better to fuck them in condoms at first.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №117186
 11.08.2015
My youngest in the room on the floor lay a carpet with a pattern of roads.
The games were also relevant... machines on the roads drive or put one by one, such as traffic jams.
As we come in the evening in the covering hole:
Yogurt is what?
This is a hole on the road...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117185
 11.08.2015
Among the comments to the news that the universe will cease to exist in some unthinkable number of years, one came out:
I don’t have time to pay the mortgage :-(

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117184
 11.08.2015
Call to TP:

Manager: “What do you see on the screen?”
K: “Eyeye, here the parol paints, here the mocked
It is painting!”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117183
 11.08.2015
both of them. Trahatso has to travel, do anything, and they are who are dumb in the series, who are dragging in toys. % of the new generation.
__________
Don’t tell me what to do and I won’t tell you where to go. Because with the same success one can say that it is yours to travel and engage in "something" consistently, work is necessary, and boring - so do repairs, take work and plant potatoes. And the other is that it is sinful to fuck, all the world is destroyed and it is necessary to pray and think about the soul. And they’ll be just as right, because that’s the meaning of life.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117182
 11.08.2015
>>[11:35:22] <Bantyc> The SBC wall brick pallet holds 480 bricks. 100 bricks is about a fifth of the pallet. Thanks for attention. Your K.O.

Vancouver! You are back!!! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117181
 11.08.2015
7 August
Good morning, saw you in the N community, are you interested in our site building courses?
Noop, I work in the backyard.
10 August
Good morning, saw you in the N community, are you interested in our site building courses?
Three days have passed and I haven’t had time to resign.
XHH:Soryan:D has worked out

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117180
 11.08.2015
This is the herb of our district - Horseshoe. The mother-pellican on the right feeds her three children with meat from her broken breasts :crazy: - well, so it is written in the decryption of the emblem :D and here's what it feels like to me, the mother of three children, to walk from work by such a emblem in the evening? :D

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117179
 11.08.2015
to this:
And the robot will not be able to "bear" the brain :) I think that because of this the popularity of male robots will be much lower than women robots :)

If a robot-man will regularly satisfy a woman in bed, he will not have to bear the brain.
___________________________
I have a personal life experience and a great experience of observing couples, the specificity of the work allows, women always bear the brain if they are not self-sufficient, to men this is also to be treated, so don’t la la, and the robot will be fucking like any household item when it will swallow or just from nothing to do

All good, bobra, and brew for bobra.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №117178
 11.08.2015
News: developed automotive amortizers that can extract energy from holes on roads.
In the CIS such roads that with such technology you can drive almost without fuel consumption.
YYY: A perpetual engine that works only on the territory of Russia.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117177
 11.08.2015
Do you need a vibrator? Vibrators will always be in demand, no matter what they are. After the first use of the vibrator, sex with a guy becomes no longer relevant (another thing, the vibrator will not pay you for a trip to the sea and will not buy a shirt / car).
----------------
What a fucking guy you were :D

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117176
 11.08.2015
By the way, why is "Doshiraki" considered almost the cheapest food? = = )
Pack of the most common rollon, if the memory does not change, 65g. In my city it costs 12-14 rubles depending on the store. Let it be 12 (at a minimum).
1 kg of rollon gets about 180 rubles.
Expensive vermischel for saved 10-15 minutes for cooking.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №117175
 11.08.2015
If you have appointed one of your lovers at 10 p.m. and the other at 20 p.m., they will both come to you at 16 p.m.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117174
 11.08.2015
Russian gaming console could be released by the end of the year

Comments: I want a Russian analogue of Guitar Heroes with ballayka!!! to

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №117173
 11.08.2015
You don’t seem to be hopeless. You are beginning to see.
My friend, in life it is almost impossible to get everything at once, either measured not very stressful work with a clear regime of the day, or a decent salary. To be different, you have to be born at another time in another universe.
and...
This reminds me of an old truth:
Most of the people in the collage had a horse, but she never became the chairman.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №117172
 11.08.2015
XX: True, this joke was linked to the heat.
I wake up, go out of the room and wish my parents a good morning.
My grandmother looks at me – I’m all blue. She was scared.
XXX: It turned out that I was sweaty and slept without a pillow on a blue blanket.
XXX: And she painted my face :D

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117171
 11.08.2015
I wrote about the professions of my parents, well, I wrote that my dad is an intergalactic ranger. not assessed (
Cool HD and what now?
The intergalactic ranger will now have to fight the forces of evil at the parental gathering.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117170
 11.08.2015
The question of wages.
I go to the shop for gifts, promise 12k. According to local standards for such a position is normal. In fact, it turned out that the schedule implies 50 working hours a week and no less, and the salary is 7500. The rest is interest, which is calculated depending on the execution of the plan (I don’t know how in this store, but elsewhere I encountered the fact that if one month you successfully break the bullshit for the plan, then the next month it will be even more). Work experience is mandatory, appearance is also looked at, there is no official employment. And, of course, no children or part-time education. Although this is fine, some stubborn with such a system of fines are introduced for "not approached the client within a minute".

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna