bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №152780
 11.08.2019
In one of the offices there was a wreck. The house had a lot of rooms. Cabinet, safe, warehouses, loft, garages, a pair of barracks, containers, etc. And from all this good he carried with him a huge bond of keys. The ligament was so large that it didn’t fit in his pocket, so he wore it on a large steel ring on his pants.

Here we are in the smoke. Admin, looking at the entrance, remarked:

The world is arranged. If you have one key, you are the boss. If two, then a big boss.

Завхоз so squeezed, waiting for the continuation, his mega-link whispered:

What if there are many keys?

If you have many keys, you are a cleaner.

“Oh,” breathed the master, “even here he did not feel important. I’ll go away from your barrel with the cartridges and lose the key, let the girls break you.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №152779
 11.08.2019
At my very young age, my mother was gone. Dad was all around convinced that it was impossible to raise a child without a mother, and a year later a woman with a daughter slightly older than me moved to us.

The most striking impression was the second refrigerator in the apartment. He was bound by a tape that prevented the door from opening. I did not pay attention to it, well, it stands, but one day the curiosity of the child took its own. It turned out that if the tape is raised up the entire perimeter, it releases the door.

Inside were ripe fruits and a large bag of good candy. The delights were for the daughter of this woman, and they ate her when I could not see her.

I couldn’t stand up and ate two or three candies without asking, which still made me a little embarrassed, and about which I was later purged. You can’t go into this refrigerator. He probably threw fantasies into the bowl, so they noticed.

The wife and daughter were soon taken home by the father. There may have been other, more serious reasons for this.

He no longer listened to the counselors and did not bring his aunt home.

Thank you daddy for helping me and growing me up.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №152778
 11.08.2019
The right roof before going gives a warning whistle.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №152777
 11.08.2019
Altruism

I was caught in the kindergarten. Something to break down, something to build, in general, poorly, but cleanly. When they talked about money, the manager traded like a Jew on the Driving. Some come together in price. Leading to me:
You are probably making money?
I do not complain. Do you have babysitters and teachers, how much do you get?
Eight to ten thousand runs.
Something is small...
Working with children is a vocation. You have to be altruistic!
He went out of the garden and sat in his 10th. Following me, the manager jumped into Tuareg. And they went away: I was working, she was looking for altruists.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №152776
 11.08.2019
Name your positive and negative qualities.
I can put everything on and then deny everything.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №152775
 11.08.2019
The phone rings. The unknown number. I take the phone, and from there a straight hysterical shout of nonsense "Pasha, I have been waiting for you for half an hour, when will you be? “” That I wrote so briefly, and in reality it was a sentence of 50 words, of which the censored only written above. I was sorry for the unknown Pasha and I replied in the tube, "Sorry, I loved another." No one called anymore.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №152774
 11.08.2019
The case was in the late 1980s. When I was a child (8-10 years old), my parents took me to a holiday base in Komarov (near Peter) in the winter. There was a local cinema and it filmed an Italian film with Alain Delon "Zorro". My mother brought me to him. And when I returned home, when my parents were at work, I cut the letter Z on our entrance door out of shit. My father was very upset, but he did not bother. My parents had to change the door. The next film that filled my filmography was the series "The meeting place cannot be changed." After him, almost on all the walls in our apartment, the image of a black cat painted by my mom's carcass was painted. Here my father no longer contained the emotions and I learned a lot about myself. The investigation is the overlapping of all wallpapers in the apartment. But the apogee of my acquaintance with the cinema was the comedy Gaidai "12 chairs. We had 8 soft chairs. To my disappointment, I did not find any diamonds in them. But my ass then shone red like a ruby.

It was a great movie before.)

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