bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144734
 11.09.2017
Restore access to a service. A few years. I call them. and support. The girl says with a pleasant voice:
Of course, we can restore it. For this, please name me the code word specified during registration.
- (20 seconds of silence, I understand that in 5 years I will not remember exactly and say a long deep-minded word) BLA-aaa.
Yes, all right, we’ll send you a new one (no longer listening...)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144733
 11.09.2017
and Gogol. The beginning.
This is a new trend in the cinema. Take the word. Add "Start" through a point or double point. And a straight kick for 10 points is ready! and the egg. Start", and "Spring. Start" and "Harry Potter. The beginning " " end. The beginning" and the beginning" The beginning"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144732
 11.09.2017

In St. Petersburg, clowns from the Comic-Trust Theatre held a picket at the legislative assembly with the demand to ban in Russia the show of the film "It" based on the novel of Stephen King. The artists believe that the hero of the painting – the monster Pennywise, who appears in the image of a clown – will defile their profession.

But the Ayatollahs did not troll.
Because the truth.
It is scary clowns.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144731
 11.09.2017
You, Russians, wrote in white - do not confuse harmless habits with disease. Comprehension of WU? Learn to read...

Strangely enough, from my surroundings, the greatest enemy of naked ankle and spiners is a friend who in his youth drank everything that burns, did not hurt grass, mushrooms and other natural substances, and bathed exclusively naked on any beach.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144730
 11.09.2017
XXX: Stay silent in the cloth. Shouldn’t you go to the rallies?
YYY: Of course it is worth it. When in their head do not go different mute personalities such as parties from the debris of history, clichés-rusophobes and bullish hysterics of all kinds. In the country there are problems of doher, and to the protesters also all kinds of shushers are applauded, which need to cut off political glasses, work out bustling cookies or simply encourage. And when adequate people predictably do not want to go with such, they start screaming that they have endured around.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144729
 11.09.2017
by Kirill 16:48

and :)
I had a strange feeling when I was invited to take an open lesson in 2010. High Middle Ages and the Crusades in the 6th Class
I came with the record. I begin to tell... and then suddenly I realize that at least half the class are small Muslims.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144728
 11.09.2017
If on TV female nipples require censorship, and men do not, is it possible on TV to cover female nipples with male nipples?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144727
 11.09.2017
I come to a friend. She has a bottle on the table.
I ask: What is it for you?
Answer: The wreath of marriage.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №144726
 11.09.2017
My mom tells my little boys how everything will go, well, and about the traditions of weddings in that village.
We will sell the bride and the bridegroom will buy her. It will be in game form.
My son is very doubtful:
Thus e. Will it be bought for money? How a thing? Like a toy machine?
Well yes. But the game is like that.
You have some stupid games.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №144725
 11.09.2017
I read, in antiquity, they advised when the murderer approached to throw a knife into it, and in science and life there was a scientific justification for this action - under some combination of circumstances, the knife destroyed the murderer by closing its electric charge.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №144724
 11.09.2017
Well, we have taken it. "Homo", "ghetero", "universal".. Although xenomorphic! If Tesla had spent his entire life exploring his orientation there, he would have not yet discovered a method of wireless transmission of energy.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144723
 11.09.2017
Funkvader: This is a scam, there were no orgasms in the USSR.
WEREMAN: brought by acquaintance from Romania.
funkvader: yes, Romanian orgasms were considered even better than the GDR.
WEREMAN: This is because, according to rumors, they were imported from France, and in Romania they were simply stamped.
Funkvade: I did not know that.
wereman: My uncle told me about this, he brought his wife, my aunt, somehow for the anniversary from a foreign mission.
funkvade: and when not confiscated at the customs?
We had to share, share. Customs officers also have wives, they also want to try orgasm.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144722
 11.09.2017
The abuser took the driver of a trolleybus hostage in Nizhny Novgorod.

So it appears:

Go to Miami!

I can not.

Why? →? to

and Am. Now there is a hurricane...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144721
 11.09.2017
I always felt like a Superman. In the last few years, weakness has overcome.
I just want to lie down and do nothing.
NN: Oh my brother. You are allergic to cryptonite. He is somewhere nearby.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144720
 11.09.2017
The terrible thing is that the supporters of the currents that are intertwined by the dominant ones in the scientific community do not understand the scale of both science and their idiotism.

They believe that OTO and etherodynamic friction are things of the same order, unproven theories in which scientists believe. Just in the first 100 people believe, and in the second 10, and how it really is there - no one knows. And it is quite possible that in 20 years the ratio of believers will change, and the textbook of Atyukovsky will enter the program of all universities.

They have no idea how science works. There are no facts for them, and they cannot imagine that they have someone. But they have their own opinions, gathered from fragments of the opinions of those who shout louder.

They cannot be convinced that OPINION from a report on RNT-TV, from a website on the Internet, "everyone knows" and OPINION from WOSovsky magazine have a different weight. In a dispute, even if you attach them to the wall with something accessible, obvious and undeniable, they will cling to the definition of opinion itself. You have one, I have another, I have a right. That’s why smart people try not to get involved in disputes with them.

And I would like to live happily without paying attention to them, but there are too many. They are the average hospital temperature, their market demand is the main demand, their vote in the election is the decisive vote. They are enough to prevent the introduction of gold rice in the Philippines and the construction of nuclear reactors in Germany. And there is nowhere to escape from this flock of idiots with opinions.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144719
 11.09.2017
- In Dorogomilov on the site 2559 removed by the forces of employees one of the candidates. He attacked members of the UIC, beat and bit.
- Still, modern dentistry gives results: more and more people report bites in a fight.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №144718
 11.09.2017
So you, dear, spit no less than the previous peasant))

Because we sit for ourselves, we do not touch anyone, we turn our spinner / clock with bracelets / other "pleasure for hands", and they all climb and climb, whisper and whisper. You will endure and you will be upset. Don’t confuse attack and self-defense, we’re not in the police.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144717
 11.09.2017
yyy: It is necessary to do lazy module loading so that the entire store does not load when opening the main page
xxx: imho must go further - the client moves to the page - only then the code to write


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144716
 11.09.2017
>I’ve loved red half-sweet all my life, which I’ve repeatedly sounded."
>>Well a man confused white with red or a blonde with a brunette, sometimes.

If I had betrayed, I would never have confused. Lying is also a skill. A person who lies constantly, such important things as the tastes and preferences of his perceivers, always clearly shares in his head. And your husband may not be a pickup guru, but he sincerely wanted to please you. And the course of his thoughts,, was about that "hmm.. somewhere here something she once said..."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144715
 11.09.2017
A happy woman wakes up every morning from under the sticks.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna