bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №56339
 12.11.2011
How good that in our childhood, our parents didn’t have a video camera.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №56338
 12.11.2011
Sberbank does not burn in advertising at all.
170 years ago, the man proudly boasts the purchase of a car on three wheels, and the front is already curved from the factory.
What do we see 170 years later? All the same man before the 1970s goes to the bank and pays out the loan for the bankruptcy.
The realists.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №56337
 12.11.2011
I want to go to McDougall.
Yyy: Do not go, you will save: money, figure and health.This is what I tell you, as a Jew, a man and a doctor.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №56336
 12.11.2011
Did you know that if you mix vodka and vegetable oil, you get polyole?
Or fun diarrhea, depending on how to use (=

[ + 54 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56335
 12.11.2011
BrightMan: 11.11.11 - the Census of Debils in ZAGSACH is coming to an end :D

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №56334
 12.11.2011
Amper
I believe that in a game in which there is no collimator prickel, it is not even worth playing.
Amper
Deluxe 3D Mega Super Mayhem Gold Edition Now with a collateral target.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №56333
 12.11.2011
I always thought the anecdotes about the army were just the fiction of humorists. Until I went to serve myself and heard the phrase that shocked me.
Captain of the Armed Forces, Uncle over thirty, height 190 cm. and etc. A soldier, in full seriousness:
Today you laughed, and tomorrow you will sell the Motherland!! to

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №56332
 12.11.2011
My mom told me today that I shouldn’t talk to you anymore xD
[4:13:22] Bart: What is it? OO
[4:14:34] Vova: She saw you write to me saying we go to the ambulance to play
My mom thinks you’re a drug addict now.
[4:15:12] Vova: because I quote: "Normal people measure and draw with a line, and with your friend clearly what is wrong, in a line he plays."
[4:15:42] Bart: You know, and she’s not right... normal people don’t really play in the line :(

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №56331
 12.11.2011
I sit behind the comp, the husband approaches from behind and tightly hugging behind the neck begins to enter the word "anal" in the search for Google, seeing my rounded eyes rattled, and quickly wrote "analytics api"... )))))))

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №56330
 12.11.2011
xxx: Yeah, my brain went to BSOD today.
He called the elevator, the door opened, and there was a toilet.
I stood for forty seconds and tried to get into what happened.
yyy: rghg... and not perform the script... turn out.. take off the pants and sit down? and :)

[ + 50 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56329
 12.11.2011
I talked to a young man. I said I wrote poems.
The Poetry? He thoughtfully extended. I do not read poetry. I only read one book in poems. "The Prince of Silver" is called.
"The Prince of Silver" I was surprised. This is prose!
- And I read in the poems, he said his own.
I understand everything, Gogol called "Dead Souls" a poem. To confuse poetry and prose?
Who is the author? I ask a little.
Tolstoy answered him.
I clarify and clarify:
Which exactly? How was he called?
and Alexander! My interlocutor answered confidently.

I see the magazine, on the cover is depicted astrolabium.
Oh you are astral! I show him a picture.
He was spending.
How did you say?
The astrology, I repeat.
What a funny word you invented!

A man with a higher education...

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56328
 12.11.2011
Turning away, luck gives you a chance to catch her tail!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №56327
 12.11.2011
decided to share. There is a cat, there is a donation from parents. There is vacation.

In the summer, my parents went on a trip, and my cat and I decided to stay in the country for a week or two.

The cat in the country for the first time, at first a little escaped from the diversity of the universe, but in the first evening brought a mouse. and live. and scared.
and unharmed. A scar on the tail, but apparently old.

Even before the domestic rats kept the love of tail rodents available.
The cat told the animal instincts to control, the mouse gave a piece of bread and let go. Everything seems to have collapsed. but.

Tomorrow evening, the cat appears with the same – seen on the tail – mouse. He gave me a little cheese, but I couldn’t. The mouse escaped.

This story repeated every night. The cat brings the same mouse, it is fed, it runs away.

Then the vacation ended, my cat and I left. I hope the mouse is fine.

[ + 53 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56326
 12.11.2011
Three hours of night. Suddenly a neighbor knocks on the door. I was so scared that my perforator fell out of my hand.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №56325
 12.11.2011
Heat in the office:
The guy on the first line: - "I have when the hot in my nose soppy dry, I am in my nose with vaseline butter."
Manager: "The jersey with vaseline must be sprayed! " rye
Director: - "or, depending on the goals... " *smiles

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №56324
 12.11.2011
Budda (10:43:17 11/11/2011)
Do you want me to show you my black saxophone?

Holodilnik (10:43:40 11/11/2011)
I was always afraid to hear this from my colleagues at work.

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №56323
 12.11.2011
In vain, I so immediately agreed to the golden rain, not even cheering what a hernia... Confusion, fucking.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №56322
 12.11.2011
Conversation by phone:
I called you yesterday, how much does Microsoft office take?
Established or not established?
is established.
900 meters minimum.
“Well, I demolished my building, there are one and a half thousand squares, come, install it.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №56321
 12.11.2011
xxx: Happiness went to the sartre, and in the push on the bottom lies flashes a handful of shayb. Either a cyborg works among us, or an idiot.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №56320
 12.11.2011
An experienced programmer reprograms your cat. Correction of the following bugs: orientation in space, clock switch, firewall on tapes and sofa.

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