From the Akado Forum:
A Swedish woman, for example: What do you think when you photograph a man in a Mickey Mouse costume... he is smiling inside?

Medvedev searched at Vnukovo airport: the president was pleased"

Pleasantly scratched behind the ear?

United Russia has allocated Nizhny Novgorod region 8 billion rubles for the repair of clinics.
All city and suburban buses in the whole region have posters with this information; on all free advertising boards in the whole region - posters with this information; in the center of the cities - stretches are hanged.

Question: How much money is left to repair the clinic?

The neighbors came down and complained, saying, the weekend, why so melt, calm your child. He brought her cat. They estimated the size, stumbled and left.

xxx: I sit in the kitchen, I drink Mintha, I don't touch anyone, from the neighboring apartment a penetrating cry of a little girl: "I KAKALA." It was hard to hold back, and my scream spread across the house: "I too". In response, a wild rust of young parents from the same apartment.

Attention, below follows boring shit, don't want to - miss it.
History from the cycle "Why I love living in this country":
Ambulance physician, 26 years old. I have a salary of 12,000, which is great. (For reference, ambulance doctors are called not only in cute homes to good people. They are also caused: to stinking, whipped, stinking bombs; to spidose addicts who, of course, do not talk about spidol; to sincere debils who throw on doctors with false, often sharp, objects.
Recently, doctors made a nice 10% increase. The headquarters decided just this case, then all the surcharges that went past the box should be cut off. As a result, after all the recalculations, the mother instead of 12 began to receive 9 thousand. Isn’t it really beautiful?

I wake up, I think: while the girl is in the bathroom, I will now do my business, I will prepare breakfast, just she will go out, everything will be ready. I rearrange everything, I wait. does not come out. I go to the bathroom and there is no one. I know I don’t have a girlfriend.
......................
Your post made Hiki cry.

Status in contact:
Do you remember drinking alcohol with friends when you were a child?:D
Buy it, you look older.
I go here often with my mom.

Commentary from the girl:
When I was a child, I bought it now.

P.S She is the 97th year of birth.
Everyone will draw conclusions for themselves.
Especially the parents.
Please miss it.

(The Prim)

A group of young girls. They act as follows:
You leave the supermarket, approach the car, load and want to leave. At this moment, two nice girls run to the car and tearfully ask to take them to the subway, they were stolen money, and there they will meet their mom. You agree. One sits in the front seat, the other in the back. And suddenly, the one that is bending in front of you and begins to make you minete. The second one is in the back seat at this time. They eat your food quickly. Be careful and careful 😉

Medvedev: I believe that the leaders of the regions should contribute as much as possible to the consolidation of people on the land where they live, where their ancestors lived.
This practice was abandoned in 1861.

In the Middle Ages, the only normal way of reading was to read out loud. Read " about yourself" learned relatively recently

YYY: Well, they were stupid in the subway.

Recently I was on a call.There were 98 screws.I asked when it was installed.It turned out that it has been standing for 12 years.

Man sounds proud, and if stitched - penetrating.

The Guardian Angel
Yesterday I was very ashamed, I offended my guardian angel.
I am ashamed until now.
And the thing was this: I go home after work, the water in the dishwasher tank is over, the mood is crazy. Thank God, I have a couple of lights and I’m home.
and served.
I approach the crossroads, I am burning the greenest, suddenly I see: standing on the right nine, slowly touched from my row across.
I gave a long hose, the nine was frozen.
I think the devil doesn’t look at the lights.
I get closer and closer to the crossroads and... oh... and the nine went further!! to
It’s not to goats. I stop on the floor, but I know I can’t stop anymore! At least that dwarf didn’t stop, but went on. I try to drive him from behind.
But the nine is suddenly dying on my track...
I turned, I suffered, and I flew to this wreck with my left side, but I did not reach five centimeters before touching it.
He translated the spirit, opened the window, and read very clearly and separately the lecture about the entire genealogy of this blind and deaf fool, who was tired of life.
The lesson lasted five seconds, no more, but it was easier for me.
The driver of the ninth in response only smiled, showed me the sign of O. K. and blamed his hands.
I spit and started to run around him with a buckle... and in half a minute, dropping my car in the middle of the road - already sorry for the hand of this desperate guy and for a long time apologized for every rude word of those that he had time to say.
He in response only smiled and very hopefully forgave me in the soul, well, or at least understood.
And this happened: When I walked around him, I saw that the right side of his nine was supported by a child’s wheelchair.
And from the sidewalk with the screams, the old grandmother slipped to the wheelchair on the four and the passers ran away.

The grandmother stood on the lighthouse, slipped, fell out of her hands with a wheelchair, and the accelerating wandered from the garden through the crossroads.
The boy at the ninth grade understood that he was most likely to get into a car flying on the green light, but he did not drift, but went over and caught a wheelchair.
Without him, this car would be mine.
I am still ashamed that I struck him.
Forgive me, my Guardian Angel on the ninth and thank you.

We ask to change the guarantor of the Constitution on guarantees.
Nothing can help, the whole party is broken.

The Evil
When is there a lot of seeds in a mandarine - is it a girl mandarine or a boy mandarine?
Katarina
The Mandarin Hoopnik?

Record from a child’s card:
"The breasts take confident"
Nothing has changed in 30 years.)

Hop: Are you there?
Voron: I am here

My friend’s husband came to the nursery to see the newborn daughter. He took her on the pen, looked at her for a long time – and then said:" And what, her eyes have already broken? And I thought like cats, only in a week"

Cap lives in one of the local service centers:
Yesterday received an act in which the service confirms that the heater of one trademark does not really read disks.
O_O