bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109320
 12.02.2015
When you bite a poisonous snake, keep its head away from you so that it does not bite you in response!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109319
 12.02.2015
- I came from work, the computer in my absence did not turn off and no one touched it, but I managed to lose all the rights to access my own home catalogue in Linux! In fact, even for reading...
Leave the closed session unattended.
There was a wife, a cat and a two-week-old son at home. What do you think which of them?
I bet on the cat. Something did not please her.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109318
 12.02.2015
What other options? I don’t just think of what, besides soup, can be borst.
and...
If you turn off on time...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109317
 12.02.2015
Are you an intelligent, educated, educated person?
Clearly x... y!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109316
 12.02.2015
Gasoline for 20 UAH
2) Are you walking now?
1) Hungry riding

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109315
 12.02.2015
C hubra (article of three-year old age):
I never wrote a letter to the developers, because every time I started it with the words “You’re all okay....?"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109314
 12.02.2015
Correspondence from the Big Office:
smelled...
I only have a few questions. I will try to be clear in the wording.
The first:
What fucking shit?
The second (more general)
Are you entirely upset?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109313
 12.02.2015
Alexander: The energy you get by eating 2 bananas is enough for a 90-minute sports workout or for a 40-minute sexual intercourse.
July : mm
You can buy bananas and exercise in the evening.
If you understand what I am talking about

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109312
 12.02.2015
Call of an employee of the Bank to a consultant in the nervous situation of closing the transaction:

Author of Maxim?
No, it is Alexander.
Employee : Why?
My mother called it so?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №109311
 12.02.2015
Whc: I am lying on the couch now, donating blood.
The doctor connects the system, fuses into the test tube for tests, starts the device and, looking at the test tube, says to a colleague at the other end of the room:
Fuck, I want to drink.
I was stressed.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109310
 12.02.2015
User: In the new design of your site, the level of threat is not indicated as before, the light is green-yellow-red, and the rectangle is blue-violet-red. What is it related to?
Sapport: You know, our designers believe that the metaphor of the lactose paper is much more visible.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №109309
 12.02.2015
Dialogue with my wife:
Do you know the etymology of the word sandwich?
When is the girl in the middle?
He fell from the chair...
p.s told the comrade.
He: She doesn’t know that it’s a sandwich?
I: she doesn’t know what "ethymology" is ?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №109308
 12.02.2015
to this
Everyone who humanizes animals, considers them members of families, speaks to them, etc. I recommend checking with a psychiatrist. Something is wrong with you.

My cat will be 21 years old this year. I will be 29. How should I treat a cat?
And in general, you are sent to the reproductive organ, anonymous.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №109307
 12.02.2015
A blog post about family budget management from another specialist.
Comment: Tell me, please, if the husband spends money on the mistress - what expenses can this be attributed to, mandatory or optional? What if the husband refuses to enter these expenses in the Excel table, and provide checks?
If sex with a mistress is more varied than with a wife - this is a mandatory expense. If the same is not mandatory.
If the husband refuses to record expenses and provide checks - you have to beat him with a wrap wrapped in a thick Moher towel, so as not to leave traces. The same method applies in the case of other refusals of the husband.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109306
 12.02.2015
I want to do something like that to ear, and it’s mostly some kind of ho.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109305
 12.02.2015
Come here, you will see. Everything does not look bad.
YYY: I can’t do without complicated operations with documents.
Yyy: The United States recognizes dual citizenship. Belarus does not recognize the United States. Russia recognizes Belarus. From the point of view of border control, I absolutely don't know who, but money can and should divorce me.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109304
 12.02.2015
You know, Vasily’s wife is great.
tempted to try?
The school works!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109303
 12.02.2015
What is your favorite magazine?
- /var/log I often look there))

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №109302
 12.02.2015
Well, you already make a separate chat for those who want to talk, and therefore constantly comment on everything. Here are some funny quotes.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109301
 12.02.2015
Previously, our cat was constantly sucking in the shoes. But then we took him to the veterinarian for castration and as he cut off...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna