bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №44356
 12.03.2011
Question: how to determine the readiness of peelmen if they are filled in a pot with a battle and they have nowhere to pop up?! to

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №44355
 12.03.2011
xxx: I decided to push the modem in the window, because it catches a lot better, you know what happened to it?
YYY: NEA
xxx: and I don't know, he was struck (

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №44354
 12.03.2011
The Arms Forum:
The first warning shot is fired at the attacker’s chest. After the first warning follows the second. If the first two shots did not sufficiently warn his friends, then continue to warn them with targeted double shots on the central projection and head until the attackers are fully warned or ammunition is spent.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №44353
 12.03.2011
TV: - Most mothers at the first feeding prefer fruit...
husband, thoughtfully, without breaking away from the computer: - and most dads at the first feeding prefer a mandula or a moth...

[ + 65 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44352
 12.03.2011
I approach the schedule for tomorrow, I watched 6 pairs (always there were 4) and below it was signed "Yes you’ve gone!!and "

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №44351
 12.03.2011
The xxx:
Read an explanatory dictionary on the meaning of the word irony.
YYYY :
Respect – believe in your word
The xxx:
Not
YYYY :
Go on, you contradictory fool.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №44350
 12.03.2011
Katobelka found a bloated pack of expired kefir in the refrigerator and thinks what to do with it.
Katobelka invented and now wishes a pleasant tomorrow morning to an unknown lover to park his dandelion under other people's windows.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №44349
 12.03.2011
Lord Kelvin: The word vodka? Just simply. Past time is money, future time is a mess.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №44348
 12.03.2011
In the sea, a person suffers from thirst, and in a crowded office - from loneliness.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №44347
 12.03.2011
False Attack
I saw in the TV program the announcement of the film about military submarines, and I remembered my father's old acquaintance Sergey Vasilyevich, a captain of the first rank, who commanded the Great Patriotic submarine type "C" on the
The Black Sea. Once upon a time, under the Soviet power, he even had a book about it, but it did not include an episode, told by the captain at the table on the next Victory Day. In general, there were many ambiguous cases in the war, which the superior command could evaluate with a high combat award, and could - by the tribunal, sometimes simply depending on their mood. This episode is just like that.
In the first months of the war, the Esca was engaged in its usual business – rising at sea in search of enemy transports and trying to melt them. Occasionally attacked enemy ships directly in ports. However, when the Germans managed to block Sevastopol after a land offensive, the main task for the Black Sea submarines was to bring ammunition and food to the besieged city. The displacement of the submarines was small, and in order to carry more cargo and ease their weight, all the weapons were removed from the boats and the crew was reduced to a minimum. From Sevastopol were transported wounded and civilians.
The Germans, of course, smelled these raids, and soon their mines, accompanied by guard ships, began to actively mine the entrance to the city.
Sevastopol Bay, which was very annoying to our submarines. Since then, mines have been their main enemies.
And here again the submarine of Sergey Vasilyevich with great adventures broke through the mine traps and unloaded on the Sevastopol shore. However, on the way back it was not loaded by people - ordered to quickly return to the base and bring another batch of ammunition. Returning, the "esca" again with excessive difficulty jumped through the mine barriers, and immediately the crew discovered the enemy ship, which quietly, without the guard's protection, placed mines at the entrance to the bay. And the Germans were especially afraid and there was nothing to fear - no one attacked them for a long time: neither from the air nor from the sea.
This picture literally angered Sergey Vasilyevich, but he could not do anything - all weapons were removed from the boat. “To frighten these shitters,” he thought. What he planned, the chief could not forgive the captain - the besieged city was waiting for ammunition, and there is nothing, but a loss of time, in addition, the submarine was discovered and could be attacked after the German ship called for help aircraft or a rapid cruiser with deep bombs. But hatred not only to the enemy in general, namely to the mine barriers obscured the arguments of reason, in addition, there were no passengers on board, and in which case the sailors risked only their own lives...
The captain ordered to rise to the surface, and so that not only the periscope, but also the scratch was visible. After that, the submarine carried out a false-attack – a manoeuvre simulating a torpedo attack.
Journalists love such a newspaper stamp – “the effect of the exploded bomb.” But here he very accurately reflects the impression that this false attack caused on the Germans. They had already forgotten when they were attacked by the submarine (or this never happened to them at all), and a real panic began on the fence - only this can explain the subsequent actions of the German crew. The Frits just dropped another mine on the water and as a result of their extremely nervous manoeuvre, they also hit it. After a few minutes, everything was over – the enemy ship went to the bottom, not even having time to bring the rescue boats to the water.
"Eska" returned safely to the base, and Sergey Vasilyevich, as appropriate, the death of the German barrier on his own mine. But about what happened before that, he remained silent. away from sin.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №44346
 12.03.2011
From the instructions to the Vasov car - at the time of the accident is not recommended to be in the car.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №44345
 12.03.2011
Stalin (13:14:37 11/03/2011)
Coming with parents.
Stalin (13:14:47 11/03/2011)
We need your computer.
Stalin (13:14:55 11/03/2011)
Their films
Green_SC@Le (13:15:13 11/03/2011)
Clothes and motorcycles?

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №44344
 12.03.2011
It was still cold, we went with a friend to suck in the garage.
Q: Why do you get warm when you dry your feet?
Because I need to take away...

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №44343
 12.03.2011
(I am talking about stupid advertising)

It’s just interesting to see who made this advertisement, to look into his faceted eyes, to find out where his tenacles grow from. Because a humanist will not think so.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №44342
 12.03.2011
Arsenic at 19:25:
And so, the shit of America will be, on every fence a fox will be written.

Yuri the Lesser (19:25)
They will say that H.W.J. This is Russian U.S.A.

Why did you steal it??? I have already bought a balloon, my hands are scratching!!! Hello from Los Angeles.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №44341
 12.03.2011
YYY : Sash
xxx :a
YYY: Remember, you introduced me to your friend yesterday, on the disco?
xxx now
YYY: Does he really have a landscape and a twin apartment in the center?
xxx: no, it's he so stupid beautiful babies on sexas divorce.
X: Why did he tell you about it? O_O
YYY: THAT is PIDARAS!!!!! to

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №44340
 12.03.2011
Mom goes into the room, a little excited:
Have you heard of the earthquake in Japan?
Yes Yes
Look at what I got on March 8th.
Fuck, I can’t even comment.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №44339
 12.03.2011
Shaders: Priva
Shade01 is good! After watching four parts "The Inhabitants of Evil" dreamed a dream and even recorded one thought from there!!! to
Shaders: once
Shade01: Not even thinking, but a question!!! Why Do Zombies Not Eat?! to
Shaders: Thirteen

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №44338
 12.03.2011
During the interview as Assistant Manager:
What will I do?
You will be my right hand.
Do you have a girlfriend?
and no.
Then I was forced to resign from my right hand position.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №44337
 12.03.2011
Mr_Orion (17:50:31 11/03/2011)
Inko: I bought tea, great tea to the word. On the packaging is drawn a teaspoon and the inscription - "A gift bed". I open – there’s a whirlwind!! to

Bayanova and Daria O. (17:50:53 11/03/2011)
I bought the same, there is another knife!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna