From the category "Authors":
“I have a man here... His name is Miron Yuryevich Captain.
How stupid that is. Not only the Captain, but also Miron!
- No, girls, well, what would the name sound normal with the name Captain?
Jack the Sparrow!

If you have finished cigarettes and you are reluctant to go to the store because it rains on the street, knock on the neighbor and ask him for a hundred thousand for three months.



After hearing his explanations and apologies, sadly breathe:



“Sorry, very sorry, but I hoped so much for you... Well, give me a cigarette then.



In 9 out of 10 cases, he will gladly give you a whole package! I’ll be glad you got it so easy!

My husband for the first time had experience using Apple products, before which he was skeptical of my dislike for her. After long customs and attempts to access the file system, he dropped his hands:
I am no longer a fan of I-Voice.
Oh all that!

Whenever I order food for the house, I say that I have devices for 3 persons so they don’t know that I want to eat it all in one haru. and fat. and satisfying. by Haru.

I had a case. A person who approached the issue formally could be diagnosed with schizophrenia.



The girl was brought, five years old, afraid to remain without her mother, can not (refuses) to attend kindergarten, swirls spikes into the sockets, demands to close all the fronts in the house. The child's sight is frightened, sitting, looking at the floor, turning the socks - pulling off the tissue on the knee and gliding into a ball. I see the child is scared.



I send my mom to the hallway and say to the girl, giving her a pencil and paper: draw me your fear. She paints quickly, and then tells me about a man named the Nail, who consists of a skeleton, and he is dressed in a pink shirt filled with balls, he is of enormous height, he knows how to fly, he has no head, and his eyes and his mouth in the neck, he has a huge tail and from him you need to close all the forks, and only his mother can save from it. When asked how to defeat the child, he replied:



Throw them with electrified toys.



I ask, “How long has she been afraid of him? The answer is how much he remembers. Judging by the picture - there was no schizophrenia there, I call my mother, I ask the child to tell my mother everything, telling the girl that we have an antifungal protection here and we do not let him here, the child whispers to his mother and tells him what he is afraid of. Mom is in shock.



Mom begins to recall that three years ago they were at her sister’s house and there was a cousin who could intimidate her sister and the shirt was pink synthetic and balls. We send the baby to go for a walk in the hallway and I gave my mother the advice that she will not explain to the child now for anything that this nail does not exist, that it is necessary to let her see the cartoon "Hunters of Guides". Then invite someone from your dad’s acquaintances home, say that it’s a ghost hunter, and then turn the toaster into the socket and say that the Nail was caught and killed. And you know, it worked. Then they came and thanked.



A psychiatrist, as an investigator, must understand the root cause. Especially a child. And not always the cause of such statements and strange behavior is disease.

XX: I went to the cafe. I stumbled. I was desperate. I will cry now.

I suspected that the phrase "Dear, I'll go with my child to rest, and you if you want to watch football" is too perfect to be true.

I worked in a network of famous supermarkets (I will not name the name) and over the box there is a camera on which everything is recorded, for every time the cashier issued alcohol without asking for a passport he was fined. (the first time for 100 rubles, the second for 200 and so on). So gentlemen, you are not especially happy that you and your chatty and 3 grandchildren did not give 18 :)

Then it is equivalent, because one is in the meaning of identity, not a single number.

xxx> On the hair cut a crisp crisp crisp!
yyy>...In kosovarotka, kosynka, kosushka, with kosyche and kosyche! and p

and Vanguard. The population will tear their ass off the couch and go vote for the party coming to power under the slogan “We will abolish all the laws passed after 91 years.”

I teach my son to go to the toilet, not to the pot. He sat down, sat down a little and said, “Dad, can you read the newspaper?”

In Peter lives a grandmother who claims to have lost a paper with a poem... My flesh.
And Loza did not write anything, just picked up a leaflet in the Metro.

When the wife asks, “What do you want for dinner?“I never guess.