Don’t let him carry the box.
BBB : Why?
Aaa: The last time he was given the cake to bring to the house of our country neighbors, he failed in the swarm, went out, waving this cake for balance, and then handed it up with his legs.

Visiting a acquaintance.
They have a Maine Coon cat, lying proudly with six kittens.
We ask "Who is the father?
We expect to see a photo of the beautiful man with the expression of the face of al "Akel on the rock of tips"

I hear from the housewife - this man walked on the street, she was swallowed by some yard cat.
Pause
(All presented the act of association of the courtyard cat and a small cat)
Then the husband of the housewife (a small man, she is a lady of the housewife) says - and what, I also love big women.

Interesting fact: in Canada there is a bus stop one wall of which represents a advertising stand of bulletproof glasses. There are three million dollars between the two glasses. We would not have stayed there at night.

My mother did not allow me to play computer games, I tried to inject games with my father (beach volleyball, swimming, swimming) My father then enrolled me in the boxing section. Once they learned that I was hanging in the playroom, they sent my uncle to the village to study in the mountains. And you know, I love them for that... Now I love it, at the time I was not delighted with their bans)))

I wash my new passport with my husband, I try to divide it into intimacy:

I: Oh, and I’m drunk... Oh, and I’ll be happy... Yes, stop! Where do you put me so much? A! You probably want to drink me, to take advantage of my helplessness.
husband and sleep.

X: Without this post, I’t remember it anymore.
YYY: Half a day has passed.
Zzz: Half a day is new memes, new users, a new era. I remember a joke that exploded the internet at 9 a.m. and at half eleven no one understood it. I’ve seen a funny picture that has been posted over hundreds of websites and where is it now? He was buried in oblivion, but it only lasted seven minutes.
Only bats, cats and breasts remain eternal.

The Physics Teacher’s Question: What other scale exists for measuring temperature besides Celsius?
The answer of the 8th grade student: calcium. How should the teacher react?
Ask to convert 5 Celsius into calcium, and all that remains, give you in sodium.

He has paid a rise in communal fees again. I am sending a request for current balance sheet to "Mobile Bank". The answer comes:
Oh yeah! * Part of the text is missing *

Husband: bought caviar, prepare bread.
Wife : How?
Wife: Come to the kitchen, scratch on your shoulder, say "Chuck, the caviar is coming, don’t worry"?

In college, I was taken into a literary association.

One of the most stunning characters was the lady, clearly painted the image of the Snow Queen from the Soviet cartoon. A walking ice. She wrote poems corresponding to her appearance. And here this lady reads a poem from the scene, where as an image appears the thin light of a projector lamp. One of the spectators, a young uncle, during the discussion asks:

Have you ever been to a prosecutor? How would we, in your opinion, open the dead if the lamp was dim?! to

I don't know how the next creative biography of the lady developed, but I would have moved on to writing children's songs in her place.

If a foolish boss starts asking you, “When will you get the same salary to do an extra job that you shouldn’t do?” you can answer, “When will Half-Life 3 come out.”

Damn, what a fun classic of domestic cinema! I decided to see the Joyful Boys in 1934, I understood where Kusturica took everything from.

XX: entrance of fun guys: one shot shoot a dofiga of minutes: a guy goes, sings, with all kinds of tricks, with animals, with people, BDSM :)

Discussion of the film:
XXX: What about the movie?
yyy: Film search - 3.5
YYY: I have to look, I think. Not everyone can this rating.

Once I was undergoing an examination in the military department, and in the office of the ophthalmologist doctors. I was shown pictures, allegedly a test for daltonism:
Q. What do you see here?
and I. The triangle.
Q. And what one?
and I. Downward downward down.
You are not ashamed, young man.
and I. For what?
No one has ever lowered a triangle like this before you.

I add :

But if the hands are slightly worse curved, laziness or lack of time is present - then the multivarka and saves.

Especially to Kossak "Yes, and what is interesting about us nowadays on the Internet? Why do we smell so ugly? and blue!and "

2007 Steve Jobs: Styles for Losers. The best stylus is your own finger. Our screens are perfect and you can work with your fingers instead of a stylus – applause in the hall.
2015 Tim Cook: “Overall, guys, we’re here... Stylus was invented” – Applause in the hall
— — —
2023 Tim Cook: In general, all you need is a three-chip button phone, and a super analogue TV viewing function on the 1.5 inch screen - applause in the hall

From Picaboo:

2007 Steve Jobs: Styles for Losers. The best stylus is your own finger. Our screens are perfect and you can work with your fingers instead of a stylus – applause in the hall.
2015 Tim Cook: “Overall, guys, we’re here... Stylus was invented” – Applause in the hall

by Anna Orlová:

My mom often remembers how I reacted to my newborn brother.
I was almost six and I wanted a sister.
Maybe she is still a sister? My mother decided to spoil me.
Waiting, of course, I would suggest to open the bullet and see :)
Well Mom! I looked at her disgustedly. You were given a certificate that you are a boy!
The future lawyer :)

My husband and I sat down to collect puzzles and have not been sleeping for a week :)

Today I encountered such a writing of the word "assesinisation" that I had to think for a while about what it was.

The Osynthesis.