bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124345
 13.02.2016
Sitting on the hairdresser's chair, I didn't think that after the word "shorter" the longest hair on my head would be the eyebrows.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124344
 13.02.2016
The news burns:
On Friday, February 12, Moscow residents are expected to have a strong wind with wet snow.
Moscow, 12 February - News. Residents of the Russian capital on Friday will be able to take part in the international action "To work on a bicycle".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №124343
 13.02.2016
Read the first channel fire in the plot about a man from Novokuznetsk, who has more than a hundred grandchildren: "He has eleven children and two daughters."

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №124342
 13.02.2016
Factory and Ural Buddhists dispute over the borders of the mine field
Invaders from a mining company want to destroy a Buddhist temple on the mountain
XXX: The Avatar Story
Monks are not blue.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №124341
 13.02.2016
On the website of women’s consultation #14, SPb. Preycurant: extract from the vagina (!!!) A foreign body. This is when you get confused with the traveler and you can't separate? This is straight without comments.)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №124340
 13.02.2016
My colleague moved to the company. I had to take her home. I go in with my husband, and I see that she’s completely relaxed. I understand that the most correct thing would be to go to the door - little, madam is wandering and almost not standing on her feet.



We enter the elevator. As we climb the elevator, she whispers something under her nose, with emotions... Apparently preparing for an unpleasant conversation with her husband. There is an effort of thought on the face. Suddenly he raised his eyes at me and clearly said:



Wouldn’t you go to the hares! I want to walk!!! to



It was all in that phrase!!! to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №124339
 13.02.2016
The 90s... Hungry, scarce, everything is modest in clothes and food. My younger brother for some time attended a five-day 24-hour garden on the recommendation of a pediatrician (by type of healing camp - oxygen cocktails, a special vitamin menu, physiotherapy). My mom and I came to pick him up for the weekend, of course, I missed him, he too. Pleased each other, we embrace, and here he gets out of the box a pack full of oranges, apples, candy, cookies, yogurts and stretches me. He’s been spending half a day all week... a small man with a big heart!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №124338
 13.02.2016
This guy is calling us again!

Which one?

What cartridges are trying to sell! Yesterday I called eight times, today the third.

Translate it to me, I’ll send it to you!

Wait, I’ll transfer you to a more competent specialist.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №124337
 13.02.2016
A man in a supermarket paid for food with a card, and for beer with cash. The black accounting.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124336
 13.02.2016
Who wants statistics?

There are no data for 2015, but in 2014, the ratio of women’s wages to men’s wages in the budget sphere increased to 74.2%.
has grown. Up to 74 percent. That is, where a man gets 100 rubles, a woman gets 74. And that’s still good – before it was less.

This is the budget area. In the commercial sector, nobody knows. All the statistics on the subject ends somewhere in 2013, but before 2013, the ratio is roughly the same: where a man has 100 rubles, a woman - from 50 to 70.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №124335
 13.02.2016
- I see no people knowing about the aviation of ancient India on the branch.
Everything is elementary. Anyone who is familiar with yoga, esoterics, meditation knows that the yogis flew to any corner of the earth, leaving their broken body and then returning to it. This is the aircraft of ancient India.
How is it that there are no knowledgeable people in the branch?
We may have forgotten about yoga, meditation and esoterics, but we have perfectly mastered the processes of fermentation, rectification and hydrolysis.
The modern food industry produces a lot of yogurt substitutes, through which any person can leave his broken body and fly to any corner of the earth.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №124334
 13.02.2016
The Russians do not give up, but they often give up.

[ + 37 - ] [17 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124333
 13.02.2016
Did you vote for Putin Sobyanin?
and well.
“The Crimea is ours!” was screaming?
and well.
Did you have a kiosk?
and well.
What conclusions?
and Obama.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №124332
 13.02.2016
Mixing up bold Poles and dull Germans was an interesting decision. The funeral march of the Wehrmacht goes smoothly.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124331
 13.02.2016
VLAD: I’m in Ahuya, what’s happening here in this Moscow. The Center of Depravity and Depravity.
Good thing, we are leaving.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №124330
 13.02.2016
Do not la la. As long as Frodo was wearing the ring on his neck, everything was fine. As he puts on his finger, he will be sprinkled, then the finger will be bitten. Be careful with the rings.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №124329
 13.02.2016
A printed thyroid for a mouse.
20 years later on the then analogue of torrents:
- Whoever has to download the kidney in normal quality, get up for delivery!
This is where it is (link)
- No, there is a left-handed assembly of some sort, wrapped up with some kind of wickedness: it depends on beer "

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124328
 13.02.2016
I: The Head of Crimea considers Valentine’s Day a spiritual garbage"
by Dasha : He doesn’t want to give a gift to his wife.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №124327
 13.02.2016
Liquid for illiterate selfish male trufflers

You don’t even know when you have an orgasm. He asked one, and she "he knew ".

If the lady says so, then she has never had an orgasm (with you)
This feeling of pleasure is not to be confused with.


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №124326
 13.02.2016
12:36, 12 February 2016
The court ordered the diocese of Nizhny Novgorod to pray for payment of debt

The total amount of debt of the diocese, including pennies and state duties, was more than 521 thousand rubles. At the proposal of the plaintiff, the church undertook to pay a part of this sum, and to repay the rest with prayers.

In accordance with this peace agreement, the defendant undertakes to pay the plaintiff part of his claims, set out in the claim, in the amount of 200 thousand rubles, on the terms and in the manner stipulated by this peace agreement. The defendant also promises to pray for the health of the slave of God Arseniev Ivan Mikhailovich and the slave of God Leopustin Sergey Alexandrovich, their families and well-being in all their good deeds and initiatives”, – said in the text of the agreement between the commercial firm and the Nizhny Novgorod diocese.

Under these conditions, the plaintiff refused the other material claims.

A worldwide agreement under such conditions is unprecedented. The document does not specify how the control of the performance of obligations on the part of the defendant will be carried out.

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