bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №80177
 13.04.2013
Recently, there was a problem, the right hand was inflamed. There was no money to pay, I had to go to the office with acute pain. There they were sent first for X-rays, then with a card, where everyone wrote to the surgeon to cut and let go. I go to him, the doctor, a young guy, looks at the photo, then on me and asks:
What do you want from me?
I don’t even know, can you show a dog?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №80176
 13.04.2013
At the philosophy exam, the student sits and answers the question, the teacher reads its checklist, and asks:
What did you use to write a control paper?
From the back:
and Cox!
Wild rage in the audience. The teacher, without blinking in the eye, was serious:
“No, young man, there is at least LSD.

I went with five :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №80175
 13.04.2013
I don’t understand these girls.
Q: Is it hard for them to understand that my romantic mood ends when my salary ends?! to

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80174
 13.04.2013
XXX: Three times “ha!” My three-year-old perfectly copes with this task on all Android devices available to him. On my phone he found out that the internet is turned on by a widget on the “desktop”, on the tablet he found in the lower right corner of the “in / off WiFi settings” and successfully used to “feed dragons”. Do not underestimate their abilities, especially if the game is not running without the network.
Only pins are saved. I, before putting a pin, I burned myself on buying coins as a child in Plants vs Zombie. It is good that on the cards open to the network I do not keep money, except that sometimes there are a couple of other bonuses can fall unspent in time :)
YYY: I can only feel for you.
Better to rejoice - the intelligent boy grows!
Yyy: On the one hand, yes, and on the other hand, a 3-year-old boy doesn’t seem to have to spend so much time to catch where the wifi is turned on. If he is not a genius, he understands. Even though there are enough problems.
Zzzz: Right, you have to drink it! You can beat a spoon on the head, you can drink alcohol to be like everyone else. He also grows faster than others. Special was found.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80173
 13.04.2013
My friend, help me! I changed my wife, and she suspected something...What should I do?
WOW: Just come to her and say, moll, so and so. I got up and she gave me. I am a victim of circumstances.
Oh yeah ok! Actually, I did not want to do so. thank you.
WOW: Then you will tell me how it all went. If you survive. :D

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №80172
 13.04.2013
North Korea has vowed to destroy Japan if it does not stop seeing it as a threat.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №80171
 13.04.2013
If very briefly, then the history of Russia can be characterized by the phrase:
"Through thorns in the ass".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80170
 13.04.2013
About Samsung :
- Let's put a more powerful processor in the S4 and increase the screen?
And that’s all?
Apple is running.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80169
 13.04.2013
>> Better spray the article that can be prepared from mold bread, salt, water and a piece of rotten onion.

And did not try in the store, after the salary, to buy pieces for 3 different canned foods, dried soups, some sweaters and other things that are cheap, that can be eaten when nothing is normal and that does not spoil for months and years? Create a product reserve.

[ + 23 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80168
 13.04.2013
This is in spite of the fact that they were presented in the pension fund a passport of a citizen of the Russian Federation with a license in Peter!

They do not use anything there. Just employees of the pension fund - or divorced pre-retirement grandmothers with a couple of grandchildren from unplanned pregnancies of children, or perhydrole unmarried lovers of tearful "mylodrams", dreaming of marrying a foreigner and "drop out of this Rush". And now look: a successful woman who lives in Spain comes and wants to get a pension. Continue to...?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80167
 13.04.2013
A "Buratino" - about two psyches
The speaking dolls and
the beasts.

Well here you, baby, got a little hot, because it wasn’t just so in the original of Pope Carlo’s friend was Giuseppe, it was "big nose" ;)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80166
 13.04.2013
Kharkiv in Ukraine. 12 of April. Before the planned rally, the opposition were removed from the routes of trams and trolleybuses and strapped to the venues of the rally and march, placed closely one after the other to fence the way. One of the bridges is covered by a cascade. Another repair car. Emergency "repair work" has begun on the entire route. There are traffic jams, there are cars, there are ambulances, people cannot get to work.

In general, such advertising of the opposition action has not yet been made by the Kharkov authorities.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №80165
 13.04.2013
People will volunteer to replace their healthy limbs or organs with more sophisticated artificial ones.
> Girls will print their breasts =)

He was right to keep silent about the boys.

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80164
 13.04.2013
Oh, just how we lived before: I wanted to go to the toilet - a book in my hand and went.
And now - how to go to the expedition: iPad, two mobile phones, glasses, ointment..."

Oh, and the naphira??? Especially wondering, what is this ointment?)))

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №80163
 13.04.2013
Ivan-vip: Homosexuality is a psychological deviation... People who support the Homecks don’t even think about what it all can lead to...

Polzavotel: So what?

Tagged: fucking fucking fucking

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80162
 13.04.2013
A friend calls:
Friendship is gifted. Let him stay until his wife leaves.
I: And what happened?
My friend: Yes. I decided to go to the house today to check out how it was. And Natasha says, let’s take my mom with us. She has never been with us before. I am going to go for the teeth. She sits on the rear seat with a cellophane meter three, and then sits down. I ask that is you? and pure. She says, “You’re driving all the time.
Well, I’m on the machine, no, we’ll only drive it today.
She was all red. My wife rattles me. Both went out immediately. And I had a baggage bag in my bag, I thought it would be useful. The fucking.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №80161
 13.04.2013
You are programmers like this.
X: Did you ever think that people are very similar to programs?
People don’t look like programs.
People are like shit.
YYY: At least I’ve never written such a shit in my life.

[ + -12 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80160
 13.04.2013
To the girl who today (12.04) proudly walked through Nevsky to the bookmaker on the Rebellion in the crown of the burger king, great thanks for the good mood! You are the best. and ;-)
A tall boy in a blue coat.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80159
 13.04.2013
Comment on the video, where the five-year-old Messi struggles with the ball...

In my childhood in the yard we were shouting"Mudila, give pass" and counters gave)

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №80158
 13.04.2013
From the forum:
I love one man for 5 years, he is married. She says that if I lose weight, she will divorce, and we will be together. You need to lose weight, recommend a diet!
WOW: Of course you’re weaker, but we’ve gone too.

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