The cyclist who rides without a helmet knows the taste of all the insects in his region.

A colleague brought a cake to work. After drinking I asked:

What is the reason?

He stretches his hand with a bright manicure.

I think, oh, now in honor of the new manicure cake is already wearing. I say sarcastically:

The reason, of course, is significant.

Then a colleague switches to a conversation with another person and from the conversation I understand that she showed a wedding ring on her finger, not a manicure. It was uncomfortable, but the phrase almost fit into the conversation.

A friend who sells shoes tells me...

The grandmother walks, and the grandfather walks behind. Grandma says:

My grandfather needed some shoes in size 43.

I addressed my grandfather:

Here you choose. You can move...

I will not measure! says the grandfather.

But why? Here is a chair, here is a spoon.

I will not deserve anything! What are you bound to me? ! to

And irritated he leaves. The grandmother, who watched this scene with interest, says:

Why did you really stick to him? This is not my grandfather, my dad is sleeping at home.

If you are hot accompanied by guests, then there are two options: you like it very much or you are very bored.

Wonderful healing
An interesting case is being heard in one of the Moscow courts. Pensioner Ivan Ilyich S. intends to divorce his young wife Masha, although he actually owes her life. He would have died alone from an incurable illness if it had not been her: being a volunteer activist of the Society of Mercy, caring for the old man - cooking, washing, making injections. However, Masha did not have a Moscow license, and in order not to remain without guardianship, Ivan Ilyich ordered her stay in the apartment in the form of a legal marriage with him. Becoming a legitimate hostess, Mashenka stopped feeding him, and when a week later she discovered that her husband was still alive, she called a goat and in obscene expressions wished him a quick transition to a better world.
And then Ivan Ilyich decided that he would die only after her! He regularly does exercise, runs crosses, visits a swimming pool and gym, eats according to the Cambridge technique, and generally - looks good.
So the activist of the Society of Mercy managed to put on the feet of a dying sick old man.

My mother told me, "Don't drive with goats, they fucking and throw." Where are you, the goats?
Tanya is 38 years old.