bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №151609
 14.01.2019
I recently broke the refrigerator. I found a master on the Internet. The dialogue between Me and Master.

What happened to the refrigerator?

I: Well it doesn’t work. Not the ice cream. The lamp does not burn.

Q: And the calendar?

I: And if you want to come to the examination, come.

Within an hour the master comes in and says, “Hello. I will do it now and you will all be happy now and forever.”

Everything was done quickly and quality. He had a sense of humor.)

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №151608
 14.01.2019
In the news saw a beautiful story: first showed a aunt, who was riding from the hill on the "vatrushka" and crashed into a tree, then a child, who was also riding from the hill and flew somewhere. And then it was that it was all because of the mountains not equipped for skating, that for skating on the ass the mountains should be prepared and special staff should be on them. And the fault is that the fools cannot control the ass, not the fools themselves, but the mountaineers and the city!



For decades, children have been riding from all the slopes on everything that slipped. If, while riding, you crashed somewhere, you got puzzles from your mother, made conclusions and riding more carefully. If, for example, you jumped on your ass from a mountain and sat down, then the next passenger went into your ass. All this quickly taught not to click the fuck, to move sharply and look at the sides. As a result, the children crowded from the hill and did not get injured. But the years have passed and the adult dudes can’t scroll to avoid getting a shock. And since every fool, a fool, a person who cannot be mistaken and whom everyone ought to blame, he blames the city, the hill, the surrounding, but not himself for his debility.



And then the classic: the debils transferred the responsibility for their debility to others, the media was blown up, and officials, as a result, will be born with a dozen new laws, according to which it will be possible to ride only in a helmet and from certified hills on the passing TO sanches in the daytime with a lunch break. The second Tuesday of the month is a sanitary day. If you ride on a cardboard, then there should be a quality mark of PCT on it. Counterfeiting of counterfeit cards is a fine.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №151607
 14.01.2019
There are people who are better not to see a hundred times than to hear once.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №151606
 14.01.2019
Case in the clinic

A grandmother is sitting in the corridor of the clinic.
A woman in a white coat passes by – not much younger than that grandmother. He passed by and then came back:
Hi to you! What did you come with? I saw you here yesterday.
The old lady extends a leaflet, right? He says:
I am in the seventh room. I stayed here yesterday and it was closed all the time. I sit here today.
The woman in the white coat looks at this poster:
You are in the 507 office. This is 207. Go to the elevator. I will accompany you. It is on the fifth floor.
have gone.
Just very attentive. I just passed by.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №151605
 14.01.2019
The economic rush was so strong that one egg was torn.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №151604
 14.01.2019
I have worked with Chinese for 7 years, I have one Chinese whose family is engaged in tea: they pack and sell them. Once drinking with this Chinese, he told me a story about how they make money on tea. They correctly pick a fairly inexpensive tea, for example, at the price of $10 per 1000 grams, then pack them and pack them in boxes, as the author of the aforementioned TS. Then the price increases in times...up to hundreds of dollars. The Chinese says that many are interested in the price more than the taste characteristics and most buyers can’t even distinguish between the tea for $10 and $1,000. Therefore, whenever I see such boxes of Chinese tea and the high price, I bypass them.



And yes, he also boasted that so they earned on the first X5

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