bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №27304
 14.03.2010
to this:
I will remember today’s journey home for a lifetime.
There were 7 people in the march.
In the front, there are 3 healthy skins.
In the back - three no less healthy guests from Tajikistan.
In the middle, at the passage, I was sitting and trying to merge with the chair.
= = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
What has ended?Interesting is...

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №27303
 14.03.2010
Elections are taking place here.
A father with a child is a 5-year-old girl.
D is What are they doing there?
O O. They give us papers and we choose someone.
D is I choose a horse.
O O. There is no such.
And sadly like this:
But maybe that would be better.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №27302
 14.03.2010
The yellow press is delighted with the news:

37-year-old American hit in a car accident, shaving the shoulder behind the wheel (how? Shit, how did she do that???

A hungry panda attacked a pig farm, but refused to eat pork meat (no doubt, everyone should know this!!)

14-year-old Italian woman paralyzed after watching the movie "Paranoid phenomenon"

“American intelligence services caught a terrorist in mined trousers. (The phrase "jabar-terrorist" acquires a slightly more literal meaning...)

Peruvian surgeons cut off a 86-year-old patient's two legs instead of one (well engaged guys little, who doesn't happen!)

Two-Year-Old Baby Accepted Birth from Her Own Mother

A grandmother handed her grandson to the police because he was screaming at a poppy

A drunk American was beaten away from the police with the help of biting children (why, I have a rich imagination!)

British tractorist fined for racing at a speed of 135 km / h (and you are all about Chelyabinsk...)

Indian family adopts ex-zack as ghost

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №27301
 14.03.2010
Vladimir Putin: “I wasn’t very excited to have spent the night on Bush’s ranch. I think he himself should have thought about what would happen if he launched a former Soviet foreign intelligence officer.


[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №27300
 14.03.2010
From “Leninka” stolen “Utopia” Thomas More for more than a million dollars. The thief gained access to the store of rare books by buying a librarian chocolate roulette

-----------
You are invincible?

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №27299
 14.03.2010
I sit in the cinema, I don’t touch anyone, I watch a movie. Two guys are sitting in front of me. In the film, the scene is somewhat sad, everyone quieted, the girls even cried and then one guy begins to ring loudly and loudly. The second guy did not get confused and wrote him three delicious slices, adding: "Camerad, I have just fulfilled the wish of the whole hall!"

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №27298
 14.03.2010
I watched the darkness for the third time.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY not even watched
Why are you not romantic?
yyy:I've been offended by romantic movies since the "Titanic" DiCaprio screw didn't break

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №27297
 14.03.2010
When I was a child, I asked my brother, 22 years old, what is a monkey?
He said that when you grow up, you will know.
I know it, fuck it! Three days of cuddling!

[ + 74 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №27296
 14.03.2010
Progy: The repair factory. The worker turns off the vinyl at the balloon with compressed air. does not go. He sits on the top of the balloon and begins to help himself with a hammer. As a result, the whole hard-blowing workshop watched how this worker, Akis Munhausen at the core, flew on a balloon about 70 meters — almost through the whole workshop. Flying with open eyes and ores. Then he was taken out of shock and sprinkled with vodka.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №27295
 14.03.2010
Have you seen what our Paralympic athletes are doing in Vancouver?! to
Not the same as those caterpillars that used to be.

[ + 51 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №27294
 14.03.2010
Damn, people, sorry for ug, but killed to look, tell me what a song: ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля ля! and more! I can't remember what movie I watched as a child, there are shorter people shoot, I really want to see it again! And, by the way, I stopped the door of the elevator today when my grandmother ran away, I’m a hero now, right? And yet, today we tragically killed a cockroach from the tapk of the evil uncle, honor the memory! I forgot, I am sick. I have a cold, please, the collective mind, wish me recovery, or I am tired of whispering the second day. Oh, as if it was all!

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №27293
 14.03.2010
To this: today I bought peelmen for lunch, I came home, I look, and on each smiley smiley, half a kilogram of smiling peelmen, I regret throwing them into the boil :(
This is ecstasy.

[ + 60 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №27292
 14.03.2010
...and my girlfriend determines the proximity of monthly after the expiration of the trial version of Kaspersky %)

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №27291
 14.03.2010
Conversation between husband and wife:
She: Dear man, go and shave.
He says: Wait a minute.
She: Go and shave!
He: Well now, I will go!
She: Here is now and go!! to
Now I’ll look at the stuff and go shave!

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №27290
 14.03.2010
In the sanitary store there is a large stand with mixers. In the center of the stand is glued a paper on which it is written "The cranes do not spin, the water is not "

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №27289
 14.03.2010
Talk to a friend on the phone:
D: My computer brakes, what do I do?
Maybe some viruses?
D: No, not exactly viruses, I have four anti-viruses worth it.

[ + 69 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №27288
 14.03.2010
We end it all:
to this:
to this:

for film lovers.

Warning of Default City.

If any brilliant animal would comment especially brilliantly on the movie I watch in the cinema, then the whole hall would not cry, but he alone.

and luck. by Mitya. and 125 kg. The handcuff.

____________________________________________
Maybe I will comment.
Oleg 27 years old, instructor of shooting))))

____________________________________________
I need to help Dmitry.
Ivan, 25 years old, 14 of them in judo
___________________________________
I am for Oleg.
Irina, 19 years old the breast.

[ + 71 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №27287
 14.03.2010
I never believed in such stories, but...

Yesterday at the Poll. Before the election, I saw a trail. The picture: a man carries on a rope such sandals on skies, and in sandals - no one. Well, he equaled me, not even noticed the poster, but then he was caught up with a rope, because the sanki stepped on skiing in the STOLB! The man slowly turns around, and, not noticing the child in the sandwiches, with the words "Oh yours!"" runs back, where in 30 meters runs the already tired rebbit. It is funny and I want to cry.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №27286
 14.03.2010
Status in asske: "Let me wash!!! Or I will still stand without cowards and answer everyone"

[ + 76 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №27285
 14.03.2010
“I realized today that my hair was a little shattered when a little bastard of five in the bus pointed at me with a finger and said, ‘Mom, look, a crazy hat!’”

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