bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110697
 14.03.2015
About the hysterics.

There was hysteria in one of the nieces at the age of 2-2,5. At first, the sister heard about this, that the child rolls on the floor, cries and beats in hysteria, and this ugliness arises just in an empty place. We then seemed to read with her at Spock that it is impossible to react to it at all, the more attention you pay at this moment, the longer the hysteria lasts and happens more often.

Once, my niece and I went for a walk, and, in fact, neither of this nor of this, she suddenly cried out loudly, crawling on the snow, lying and crawling, filling with tears. I stand next to you,
No matter how I react, it’s all about science. A crowd of compassionate and curious people gathered. A lot had to listen to my address - and I do not know how to raise, look at what the child is doing with this idiot, and get up, baby, once your mother is so evil, I will regret you, and you need to call the police, let the child from such a beast be taken away... I am silent and try to breathe exactly, and the child lies, knocks on the snow with his hands and feet and cries... Finally, the nephew exhaled and remained silent. Compassion dissolved in the dale. I picked it up and we went home.
Somewhere six months after the beginning of this figured, she suddenly stopped everything. Interestingly, I have found very little in the life of such resilient, balanced and intelligent people as my now adult niece.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110696
 14.03.2015
xxx: sirga, there are two bd incomprehensible on the server - taskfreak, and wordpress, do you need them?
The second is no.
YYY: the first yes
XXX: I will restore

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110695
 14.03.2015
here.
But God could have created humans in the image and likeness of a cat...Why did he make two-legged, nonsense?
______
Have you seen images of gods in ancient Egypt? I’ve seen a cat, but I’m tired of it.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110694
 14.03.2015
What combines wine and motorcycles? In Soviet times, they were used if there was not enough money for a full-fledged product (vodka and car, respectively), and now the opposite.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110693
 14.03.2015
My name is Lion. I have no shortened names, only extended ones.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110692
 14.03.2015
Fantasy is adolescent literature. Oh well Nafi :)

Саймак teaches to be a man better than many of the classics.

Learn not to be wise – learn to understand.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №110691
 14.03.2015
By a strange coincidence, those who read a lot of good literature are endowed with innate literacy, and therefore they are often also loaded with intellectuality, apparently also innate.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110690
 14.03.2015
The news:
Surgeons in South Africa performed a successful penis transplant for the first time in the world

The first comment:
Surprisingly: the first heart transplant in the world - in 1967 also in South Africa, now - a penis. South Africa specializes in "love organs".)

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110689
 14.03.2015
Articles about Loki:

The reason for the choice and the main difference between Loki and the Asses was that Loki did the ugliness not for a great purpose, but exclusively for the sake of the process itself. Moreover, the instinct of self-preservation was manifested in Loki with a certain delay, so that it was not hindered yet, but it gained full power only when its carrier received pronouncements for the basar, discharge and underpinnings.

Asses did not decide to give Fenrir to the livestock, because due to general mental underdevelopment, prophecies and newspaper horoscopes were highly respected.

And Loki, for technical reasons and the absence of veterinarians, went through the cabbage for the entire period of pregnancy. It is easy to guess that his character has not improved from this.

But one day, Loki really stumbled, temporarily abandoning theft, kidnapping, transvestism, sexual harassment, and trusting in order to subsequently abuse them.

Probably, the Asses would have learned a lot more about each other, but then Thor returned, whose ability to navigate in a drunk state was difficult to call otherwise than rudimentary.

and etc.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №110688
 14.03.2015
From Darius:
Vampuka: I was not happy for a long time. The linen plantation was completely destroyed, one lupin survived and the petunia seemed to be whole - she didn't have time to climb, it saved her. In parallel with the planting, she planted their own personal grass for cats. They don’t eat, they’re sweet and sweet. And for a moment turned away... How the grasshoppers work.

A rabbit attacked a pot of spaghetti. He jumped into her from the refrigerator with his head and earned her jaw. I lost the gift of speech from such greed, but the dog reacted - a cat bitten for a frog coming out of the pot. The cat jumped on the spot, flew out of the pot, slipped and fell. Falling, he found that he had spaghetti wrapped on his neck and began to eat them quickly, trying to get up and mourn. By sound it was something like: me-me-me-thought-thought. The dog laughs, the cat, like a beetle, crawls on the table next to the plate, loudly eating spaghetti, the child rolls on the floor and rages. I will leave them.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110687
 14.03.2015
A practice that believes that this is not the case in life, and I have no children: I am a mother of two children, one of them has been 8 years old. With hysteria (not to be confused with the show) strong hugs are very helpful. It is necessary to embrace it tightly so that the child cannot move. Literally a couple of minutes and the hysteria turns into scratches, and the child quiets. With hysteria, the child cannot cope with his emotions, and adults should help him in this. I never understood the moms who in hysteria grabbed the belt. There are more humane and effective ways, but you don’t have to be lazy looking for them.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №110686
 14.03.2015
Fifteen years ago, my crown phrase I used on the occasion and without was "There is such a sign". Removed Ilya Muromza, he stopped. Then my favourite phrase for a long time became “Massaraksh” – until Bondarchuk delighted with his masterpiece. The expression went to the hops, and died there. I didn’t give up, now I have a cowardly phrase "I don’t see why noble don’s not...".
Here is again!!! to
Hair in the nose!
**********************************************************************
Didn’t you play with dollars?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110685
 14.03.2015
From Habr:
All losses in the Darwin Prize competitions make us wiser.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110684
 14.03.2015
xx is:
Did you do occultism?

and xy:
was affair

xx is:
Tell me
If a person is frightened suddenly, the third eye can be opened.

and xy:
may
The real chocolate.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110683
 14.03.2015
> It is not an instinct. Man has no reproductive instinct, aloo.

? to And the member of men arises exclusively from the desire to sow the reasonable, good, eternal and to be useful to society.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110682
 14.03.2015
And while the normal class leaders in good faith made the stengazets by February 23 and March 8, my class, guided by its own logic, made the stengazets by February 14 and April 1! >_<

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110681
 14.03.2015
from ZH:
They invented a terrible fairy tale: "Girl girl, the black coat is coming out of your closet! The little girl, the black coat is already getting to the couch! The little girl, Black Coat is lying on the couch! Little girl, Black Coat is lying on the couch with your white cats! (People who understand this place usually start screaming terribly.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110680
 14.03.2015
XX: I don’t want to impose on a guy just because I’m short, and he’s cute.
XX: In the end, he did nothing wrong to me.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110679
 14.03.2015
This is difficult in your Israel. It feels like the whole country’s coding has flown!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110678
 14.03.2015
The Cinderella:
Cinderella syndrome in action. She bought a sexy maid's costume while washing, washing the refrigerator, the microwave, the bath and the floor throughout the house
— — —
Come in, it’s a mess at home too.

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