bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125463
 14.03.2016
When I was a student, I had a relationship. The young man was a "local", I was a visiting provincial girl living in a shelter and living on parental subsidies. As the guy believes, he regularly jumped in guests and regularly empty the refrigerator. At first, it even pleased, because the guy was positioned as a "true man", who needs a lot of money to maintain the reality. Then it became financially stressful. Like every young and naïve idiot, I came out of the way: at first I noticed that it would be good to have something for tea. I got cheap chocolate. I went to the trick - so it seemed to me in any case - and on the next visit told me that there was nothing to eat, we went to the store. I went, I picked up the products, the winner joined the game, I also skilled something. The shutdown arose at the box office, when the man, almost aside, left, only that the cashier did not think that he was paying here. The moment I’m not proud of is the phrase “Couldn’t you pay?“From my mouth broke. The man pays. He wondered when I would repay his debt. My nerves gave up, I said everything I thought. And in response she received a genius: "I didn't know you were so mercantile."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125462
 14.03.2016
"State of work in the specialty from 1 year - desire to work and develop in the field of domestic violence"

What a guard?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125461
 14.03.2016
In the dining room he asked for fresh water. I slept. What had to happen so that he could clarify?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125460
 14.03.2016
Now oldfagams are called people who as a child watched "Ghost Stories" and "Gammy Mice". I worked in those years...

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125459
 14.03.2016
As a child, my friend and I loved walking on tubes. They were not changed for a long time, they were old, rusty and all their insulation was broken. And also, my parents from childhood instructed me that you don’t need to put a pad on wounds, because it’s dirty. Going for a walk, a girlfriend went to the toilet in a big way. She cried out to me, “Find me a frog.” And I said to her, "The scarf is dirty, it's better to look after it." I made her cleaner from the insulation of the pipe watt...that day we first learned what is glass watt...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125458
 14.03.2016
In one popular blog advertising post about budget devices for the "smart home".
Under the post comment: “Very useful devices. Now everyone who wants can cheaply convince on their own experience that the "smart home" is expensive, bulky and uncomfortable.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125457
 14.03.2016
I stand on the light and look at the advertisement poster on a truck standing next to me.

E-e-e.... Designers, dear ones, when before you the text of the look "... We are leaders. ...", good advice, choose the font more carefully.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125456
 14.03.2016
The team is two people and a girl.

to obey! Do not help him.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №125455
 14.03.2016
I watch the series all day.
Watching TV series is not looking for work
XXX: Is it hard to find something?
xxx: "Simple 23-year-old girl earned a car for 4 million in just a month" <link>
YYY: No thank you
yyy: I don’t have such a good tissue regeneration

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125454
 14.03.2016
I remember when we first brought our city cat through, on the street and never before, to the village, it mastered quickly. In the morning, I drink tea and look out the window. Beyond the house goes to the pond family with a dog, the cat washes on the lawn under the window. Distracted for a second literally, I see: a cat, pulling its tail, cheers boldly around such a small dog. You had to open the window and choke on it, he ran off the bars to the window, hero, shit. The cat was noticeable: his tail was like broken, short, like a riot. He walked around the village, as if he was born here, periodically he was returned to us by foreign people, in short, hungry he did not go openly. Crystals all suffocated not only in the underground, but also in the bath. And that creature, who had crossed his back by drunkenness, I would personally castrate.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №125453
 14.03.2016
There is also a key phrase in the comments (and capsome): “...what is the difference between this fictional story and the real one? If this happens every day?” I regularly read it lately in comments to blue boy stories...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125452
 14.03.2016
I went with my brother’s family to the mountain ski.
A three-year-old niece, watching her brother descend from the mountain, joyfully said: "Papa is a fucking skier!"
A more accurate description is simply impossible. As they say, the baby’s mouth.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125451
 14.03.2016
Zadolbayka, who blasphemed the mother of her drinking and playing young man, I will tell you one clever thing... A mother knows her son not a year and not even five years. And it is likely that she is already tired of pulling a begemot out of the swamp, especially if the begemot resists with all its strength. But the son could go to the father, and she may also have a husband (is or was). And she’s already tired of all these folk fun with the begemots order. And you drag, drag while you are young and strong. You will get bored sooner or later. Or the forces will end. They are such ungrateful creatures. So here’s another smart thing for you: run away!

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125450
 14.03.2016
Police, judges, officials and so on. I am also jealous of statistics. They can also be engaged in hiding facts, falsification of documents and assignments in order not to lose in salary?
– is
Do not believe!

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №125449
 14.03.2016
Do you know what, gentlemen economists who have not mastered the verbal count, and chemists who have a vague idea of valence? Go to shit!
The inability to remember 35 simple numerical expressions (the multiplication by 0, 1 and 10 I do not count, as well as the rearrangement of multipliers) and a hundred simple definitions is the highest degree of idiotism. Don’t prove here that you don’t need to. A society of brainless consumers.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125448
 14.03.2016
From 19810:

You ask, in what century do we live?
When in schools instead of astronomy they teach religion, when they seriously talk about telegony and creationism as the truth, they deny biology and physics, when the greatness of a country is seen in its geographical size, when instead of science and medicine money is invested in the manufacture of weapons, while nobody really was going to attack us, when the words "there is no God" are brought to court, books and websites are forbidden to read, movies - watch, offer to burn the hearts of gay people and pray for health.
You were just washed out of the windows.

[ + 23 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125447
 14.03.2016
The sufferer :

I look forward to the day when I will have to move from the seven, for which I have picked up the necessary package for five years, to the tenth, with her fashionable, youthful chips!

Go to Lubuntu 14.04LTS+Wine now while there’s time to adjust. When the tenth comes after you, no one will protect you.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125446
 14.03.2016
We have a very sociable grandmother from the neighboring apartment. He is 86 years old and lives alone. The roof has been removed for a long time and apparently forever. Because of her, they didn’t start putting a new call after repair, the sweet habit of pressing and holding until you’re bored. It comes for any reason, often without that. Pants, day of the week, "I thought you were at work", "and the husband at home? And let him make me a call/light/unitaz/stance with my commod..." (need to be emphasized as needed). Walks as at 6:30, 9:00, 11:30, 13:00, 17:30, 21:00, and a bonus if you do not sleep at 23:30 and 03:00 (+-10 minutes).
Yesterday she tried to enter the apartment.
Let me sit with you!
Why Why?
Well be it!
I am not interested in guests.
I sit quietly in the corner.
and no.
You are very uneducated. You never say goodbye to me. You’re sitting at home all day and you can’t help me. You will invite me to visit, and I will not come. And at all! You have a husband and I don’t.
And proudly shook at myself, letting me quietly roast...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125445
 14.03.2016
You taught them from fifth grade to high school. They multiply seven by nine and get thirty-two. Have you ever thought about harakiri?

You can take a horse to the river. You can even put it in the water. But it is impossible to force a horse to drink.
The teacher can stand on his head and show focuses, but if the child does not want to learn and think - he will not think. If a child can not blind the table of multiplication for 11 years - this child is DEBIL, and place him in the correctional school.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125444
 14.03.2016
Client: Host serv29 is not plugged. Look what happened to him.
I looked at him, and Ping appeared.
Client: What happened to him?
by admin: Hz. I just looked. I can explain this by the principle of uncertainty: observation affects the outcome.

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