bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149726
 14.03.2018
Mr. proud > Blind It was so uncomfortable.
At work, we have a single mom who loves to praise her unique and unique child. He does it loudly, without apology and honorably.
Constantly shows everyone his photo: here we are in school, here we get sick and the doctor, here we went on a journey.
And here I go on a day in the area, and a bunch of small ones run past me, and one is louder than everyone else, and also smokes.
I look, and my face is familiar. And on the machine: Seed, do not argue with the mate.
He looks at me and asks in complete silence, “How do you know me?”
I didn’t think of anything wiser to say except, “Hello Mom.”
Only now I understood why everybody around me was wild.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149725
 14.03.2018
Imagine the story of a spy:
Super-secret data is recorded on the flash drive, then the person responsible for the flash drive is killed by the bad guys. The main character chases the worst around the world, fights, shoots, participates in the pursuit. Finally, after taking possession of the promised flash, he transfers it to some CIA or MI6.
And then the flash is plugged into the computer – and it’s a shit – it’s not read.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149724
 14.03.2018
Here are all of you who advocate for natural selection and against preserving pregnancy, and you are sure that you would exist without doctors?
I was absolutely healthy from childhood, engaged in sports and until the age of 30 did not understand how this person can get sick. Well, when they hit - it is understandable, but just so... I went to the doctor only for a medical examination. I don’t even have a bite. I tell you not to talk about pathology.
And when my wife became pregnant and lay down, my mother told me how she was walking with me, or more precisely lying down. I am in favour of preserving pregnancy. I like to live.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149723
 14.03.2018
>> "square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square
> Do you see X? Full of. Dyby naappimep - in kolićectvax, in a gopoode g ect.

It is not visible from the window of the room. In which the conspirators are placed.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149722
 14.03.2018
The childish
My sister was diagnosed with developmental retardation by a psychologist when she entered school because she thought long before responding. However, the sister graduated from school with a gold medal, the institute with a red diploma and works in the specialty. She is a physicist (not a teacher). So if the child is quiet, silent and long thinking about the answer, it does not mean that he is ameba. And shutters in this case do not distract, but prevent from thinking.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149721
 14.03.2018
And here you’re in the back: "How are you doing, guy?" From the dark. At three o’clock at night. The voice is unrecognizable. The MLA! What a happiness! The pope spoke! And that I started, so who cares?! to

It’s the same with kids.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149720
 14.03.2018
In the morning, two guys come in close to me. One says:

I spoke with a girl all day. Such a beautiful. She wrote herself.

Show me.

I'm also curious about what the ninja captured the boy's heart. I stretch out my neck and see a very photoshopped photo of some not too well-known model.

His friend sees the same thing and says:

You know this is not a real picture? Fake is probably.

It cannot be. But indeed...

Looking at the page, there is only one photo.

I put her money on the phone.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149719
 14.03.2018
Famous physicist Stephen Hawking died on March 14.
by R.I.P.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149718
 14.03.2018
How God created

God created labor and the monkey.
To become a man.
But God did not touch.
It immediately went well.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149717
 14.03.2018
xxx: we need to discuss the dress code, or you will come in the Hitler costume, and I will be in the underwear, and it will be uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable not to harmonize.
Yes, let go, with Hitler everything harmonizes.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149716
 14.03.2018
by this:

In the Scandinavian countries, if I am not mistaken, they do not try to prevent miscarriages and save the fetus. The mother will be saved, they will go out, but the fruit is an unborn man.

Not just in Scandinavia. In general, few places in the world have such a "preservation" as we have - the extraction of pregnancy in the early stages. Abortion - and abortion, we do the next, healthy. Our mom will be placed in the hospital thirty seconds after conception, will be chopped and excavated - only so that the pregnancy will not be interrupted. In the end, we have what we have...
— — — —

In fact, newborns weighing more than 500 g are cared for according to the WHO standards, which are in effect in Scandinavia, including.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149715
 14.03.2018
The popular recipe for making hot meat tattoos of dead frogs is discussed:

I don’t understand how people who have read Tom Sawyer can be surprised by such a simple way to make tattoos.
If you need to browse at night at the cemetery to see warts and swear the dead cat in the hell, but just a hot vortex to make tattoos - it's somehow even simple.

Ardbeggar: This is the simplicity and alarming!

Next: Do you think that then these dead whores will still need to be sprinkled in somebody?

Ardbeggar: Definitely of course. Breakout into various institutions and throw off the worried vortices in employees with the scream "Daddy-tattoo, go to the chief!" This is how you really get into the headbuckle, and magic will work.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149714
 14.03.2018
A break is when you wipe out the sweat from your forehead, finish the pit, the commander comes, roars with the commander’s voice and starts to break the pit!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149713
 14.03.2018
They have degraded mentally, there is nowhere else to degrade.

You are too skeptical. Humanity always has a place to degrade.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149712
 14.03.2018
In truth, it is better not to get caught up. If it is dried, it is toxic.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149711
 14.03.2018
In 1997 my friend Zhenka's parents bought an apartment. Well, like an apartment, one of Khrushchev’s, that he should take away from them. So here. In the first payment for the public transportation service there was an incomprehensible line: a "radio point", in front of which there was no such amount at that time. Especially since she was a student at the time. It was decided to abandon this radio point, in connection with the fact that Levitan has long since left (the kingdom of heaven), and we do not expect an air alarm. And the radio itself. The wire from it, long rested under four layers of wallpaper. We get into the contact node. Well, of course, we are writing a statement about the refusal of the services of the radio point. The next joke.
You have a debt!
And what?
I have to pay!
And otherwise what?
Otherwise, we will turn you off.
It was a long time, and with that girl...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149710
 14.03.2018
Russia is a country that is always ready for a nuclear war and never ready for a warming season.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149709
 14.03.2018
of the weather;
A: How do you feel?

M: I cough out flocks of birds and whales in the ocean respond with greetings

A: I would send this line to the Splin band and offer to write a song.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149708
 14.03.2018
>> Yes, yes, but not at all. And something I haven’t seen passenger cruise icebreakers, can you tell us more about them?

And you went on cruises to the North Pole... Only if the heart is weak, the prices are better not to watch.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №149707
 14.03.2018
"Active six-year-old swallow" is for a loving mom.
For any foreign adult, it is an intolerable, intolerable child. And for a neurologist - hyperactive, with increased reflexes, excitable, and uncontrollable. Which really will interfere in the classroom with all the "stupid" who don't have a tail in the pop.

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