Under what conditions would you agree to have sex with a man?
He: A bullet in my head and I'll fuck it all.

Nothing wipes the dust out of the computer like the hell’s sun lights the whole room.

I go to the store, passing by the #brandname# carrier of the meat packaging with the truck of fresh dishes. A shopkeeper approaches and asks: "Consult the sausages more delicious". The carrier crossed and said, “I’m advising you to eat potatoes, you’ll be healthier.”

Actually, from a previous life.
Dear man, do you love me?! to
...Yes...
And how?! to
How strange it is!!! to

The expression of LOH most likely originated from the abbreviation L.O.H. (A person robbed by hooligans), which was used in the preparation of police protocols in the 70s. GOP (hopnik) probable etymology - in the distant USSR there was such a place State dormitory "Proletariate", the citizens who lived in it were dressed in barholes, the growing generation often wore things of the elderly (spread and not in size), hence the appearance - a huge size jacket (often stuffed in pants with a headset), very worn shoes, on the head - a hat (in winter and summer)or any worn hat. Well, of course – behavior ("Words, small (seeds, chicken) is there")
Maybe somebody will be interested.

“The sufferings of one’s soul are not the sufferings of other sufferers.”
(The Yellow Shirt)

A screw from life

One of my comrades, a doctor of science and a professor, by the way, came across once.
His youngest daughter (one year old at the time)
Two butterflies fused in ecstasy at the fridge door.
“Look, Dad, what a strange crumbling mol,” she said thoughtfully.
The daughter.
“This is not a crumbling mol, but two separate ones,” the father corrected.
So what do they do here? The child asked.
“They’re having sex,” replied the father, who always thought
Honesty and openness are the main things in the relationship between parents and children.
But the next question of an intriguing child even a father-professor for a long time
He went into a stupor.
Why is it so quiet?
As the comrade said, he did not know whether to roast or cry.
Be proud of yourself :)

Zmeevsky

One girlfriend is going on a date, two others are going to her.
They help.
50 grams for courage.
The second with doubt:
Or maybe 100 for stupidity?
http://www.russianmontreal.ca/index.php?do=cat&category=kretinki

and Eugene:
We have in the city advertising of stretched ceilings on the radio - "Natyanya your dream", throw off!

The Kitchen:
What a slogan the classmates wiped in their ears.

I’ve never loved Panda, though.
While pirates captured citizens of other countries, with pirates negotiated, people sat in captivity, about Ukrainians, who spent half a year sitting, I generally remain silent, but as soon as they captured an American, one, without a ship, the American fleet went for revenue, about the ransom did not even want to hear, pirates simply destroyed, theirs taken.
Because it is nefigured.
I will not respect them after that, but I can no longer despise them.

Return the comments! It is better to have one joke quote and 9,000 joke comments on it than just 9,000 joke quotes.

In the subway, the girl descends on the escalator, and methodically looks for something in the bag with the image of Kenny. A guy runs past her, he hits the girl, and, of course, the bag falls.
At the same time, a joyful scream from the neighboring escalator is heard: "They Killed Kenny, Svolocchi!!!!and "

XXX: Horizon TV is still better

Yyy: Definitely of course!Thanks to the new, ergonomic handles, which meet the latest world standards, carrying TVs "horizon" is much more convenient than Rolsen TVs!

14:45 – Come to visit.
14:47 Angelko: What will we do? and ;)
14:47 Kot: Let's sit down, drink a tea, I fucking you and watch a new movie.
14:48 Anjelko: Scotch! You only need one of me! You have gone!! to
15:31 Anjelko: What time to come?

xxx: I am holding a lecture here on the harm of suicide
YYY: And how can suicide hurt? O_O

Meat from a tail, meat from a tail... tea from a headphone! and ((