bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №51749
 14.08.2011
of the answers:
Question: is this where I striptease danced yesterday that candy full of cowards?
Answer: in the confectionery department of the gastronomist at the corner, in the dungeon of the head. Prepare the trout wider, next week in the meat department of the dungeon!

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №51748
 14.08.2011
The Navy Day
Day of VVD

This is all that 😉
On Builder’s Day, the Tajiks armed with armor and bricks went to storm the markets in order to punish those who cut off the construction.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №51747
 14.08.2011
The church is near, but on the street is ice. The bar is far away, but we will go very carefully. and c)

[ + 52 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51746
 14.08.2011
The more time passes since the last sex, the more beautiful girls become.

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51745
 14.08.2011
Rilos Delms: I woke up when I woke up, and I had a cat 3cm from the face :D

Adanier: And I was like a whirlwind when I woke up on the floor and two cats were sleeping on the bed...

Rylos Delms: Was he dropped? xd

[ + 76 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51744
 14.08.2011
Windows 8 will support speech recognition
YYY: Maybe it’s better not? will still learn to answer, will argue, accidentally get offended - will be offended, a week will not be loaded...

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №51743
 14.08.2011
My mother went to mark the doctor at the dacha, I avenged.
calls to:

Did you not go out there?
No is
Gorgeously, we are gone!

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51742
 14.08.2011
Conversation by phone:
She: - Something in my tooth is so sick, I need to urgently clean something...
He said, I am already going! 8) is

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №51741
 14.08.2011
Finish the topic:

In addition to:

I remember the story of how a cat answered to the question: "And if I attack you, what will happen?" So we got a cat on the question: "Masya, will you be cocoa?" surprised and asked again: "Quaquao?"

And my cat, when he was unhealthy, said complaining "ayayayayayayayay"

MA: And the doctors forbade me to continue sitting on heavy drugs :(

[ + 70 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51740
 14.08.2011
Q: How do you know, maybe he’s my narrow?! to
It is yours, fucking!

[ + 12 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51739
 14.08.2011
Intellectuals always have many ideas and no solution.

[ + 57 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51738
 14.08.2011
Drinking in the range

My grandfather went to war two months before he was eighteen. He served as an advanced front intelligence officer. For two years he did not receive news from the house - the occupation, and then in the winter of the 43rd, Voronezh was liberated and for a while stuck in Castorny. Grandfather (a twenty-year-old, as they would now say, a freezing) decided to take advantage of the opportunity. and what? Well you think of frost 30 and snow in the ears, but to the native village with your hand, only 70 kilometers. And the fact that mines, unbeaten groups of Germans, and so on, is nothing at all. I agreed with my own, that they would be insured for the event that the bosses would ask - say, you will say, but somewhere here, we will look for it. Agreed for 24 hours. and scratched. by night.
At dawn, I saw what was left of the home, and also from others... but I caught a familiar grandmother, and she said to him - no, yours are all alive, they settled with the cousins.
Three miles, the goal is reached. Day for communication, evening on the way back. He returned evil like a devil, dreaming that some shortcomings would be caught along the way - to the fancy in what quantity. did not hit.
But he lost his alertness and got caught. In the eyes of the neighbor.
Comrade apparently was greeted – breathing out. In February at five in the morning.
He saw a miracle in a masquerade, wondering - who is it and what has been forgotten. Grandfather looked - no one, from all the way, knocked him in the ear, and after half an hour, in the company of fellow servants. The calculation was on the fact that his personal figure when he learns in such a shadow, and it was dark.
I found out. A psychological portrait. It’s not me, it’s my neighbor. A masked detective. Who are the most intelligent?
In short, for the frogs and for the individuals. What a fucking neighbor.
Why did he dare to strike the elderly by title, and in general a person (and he stood comfortably, that’s why). The "your" personality relates to what is happening without particular interest and sincerely wants to "spit off", but
The “neighbor” splashes saliva – arrest!!! In the court!! Okay, said my grandfather. He handed down documents, weapons, and said, I want to sort. The Last Wish. The neighbor led. one one. I hold a gun in hand. Oh, in vain he didn’t listen to a colleague who advised him – run and don’t contact. I think he got in the ear...
As soon as the door of the ordinary village toilet opened,
The "blue-hearted" eye didn't have time to blink, as he turned his head down in the shit.
The gun fell there.
Grandfather, hearing the bullshit noises not only from below but also behind him, pulled out the body, which he held for his legs and turned. His own person (he went to track) was riding on the snow, not even able to roast normally.
The "Blue Swan" went for a bath and thought about how to get his weapons now, and the person who finally broke out drove his grandfather behind him. Grandfather honestly, as in the spirit, explained to him where and why he was bathing at night.
He also told what he saw in his hometown – twenty-eight people in a hut-masanka (for those who do not know – an area of 20 square meters), breathing nothing, because there is nothing to melt. There is also almost nothing, the Germans cut all the cattle, and the harvest was not quite able to collect. He told me what I learned. They were attacked as partisans. However, full-fledged partisans did not get out of them - no weapons, but they packaged the fascists everything from small to large as soon as they could.
“Are you talking about the country? This is my homeland!! Here is!! And this horror wanted to stop me from revenge for all this! The court!”
The person was serious. Even drowned. I thought.
Here returned the washed, but still stinking "dude" and began to roar more than the former. He will report to the senior chief. In a second
The “your” person again turned out to be a “pattal”, because the grandfather issued:
What will you report? How did you dive into shit? Let me report. I will not be silent.
I will tell. With the details. Even if you have stumbled.
He preferred not to report anywhere.

This is what my grandfather told me. For many years I considered this story a fairy tale.
Grandfather after the war built an excellent (by rural standards) house, acquired a huge farm, married the first in the village beautiful... 6 children,
12 grandchildren... At 72 he was widowed, at 73 he married for the second time – found a lovely grandmother.
A year later he got sick. He came to us. Not to the sons-daughters, but to the beloved granddaughter and beloved niece. We helped him get to the hospital.
The morning. We sit in the bus. The trip cost 2.5. There were also benefits for disabled people and veterans. But if there were few veterans left, so all were allowed for free, then disabled people - selectively.
Here and now at the front door tearfully asks her to let an elderly fat aunt.
Go out, the old man! And when you cry out, you cry out.
The Driver. My aunt goes away.
We are entering. The driver immediately notices the grandfather's (the only available) jacket - more like a armor jersey, because the medal orders kilogram three, barely fit, though on the back hang.
Go through Father. You are free, the driver is generously permitted.
And then happened what made me absolutely believe in the story with the sort.
A shadow blinked near me and in the next second I saw my grandfather holding the driver behind his neck and slightly (we still have to drive) knocking his forehead on the wheel. "74 years, cancer in the third stage and so move" is the only thing that came to mind.
The door opened! and fast! Almost whispering, but convincingly.
The driver opened the door. The grandfather also quickly came to the door, handing the crying “ladies.” Then he threw a dozen and said loudly:
I don’t need any gifts, son.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №51737
 14.08.2011
Why is Putin afraid of leaving power?
- Fears that without it the country will be ruined %(
- Fear that the country will be robbed without it %)

[ + 64 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51736
 14.08.2011
I read the inscription on a pack of tea: The tea leaves are collected in India, Ceylon, China. Packed in Ukraine. Enjoy the taste of English tea!"
XH: O_o

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №51735
 14.08.2011

xxx: the majority of pedestrians pass by the rules "green - go, red - run".

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №51734
 14.08.2011
From ZH (tat_oshka)

There are two grandmothers sitting on the bench. approximately 70.
There are cards on the bench between them.
Love awaits you.
A to?
Love is waiting for you!! to

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51733
 14.08.2011
The best of all know how to manage our member people who did not have it rebirth.

[ + 62 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51732
 14.08.2011
I started reading BOR from the first page...there’s more funny...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №51731
 14.08.2011
I love my mouth and pockets. In one one you can hide the tongue, so that you do not hide every hide, and in another you can hide your hands, so that you do not fast every hide!

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №51730
 14.08.2011
@abbsol: AVON consultants have a stinking page in their passports.
@OlgaGolbert: What is Erund, what a joke? I’m Consultant Avon, we don’t have anything like that!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna