bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101840
 14.08.2014
I will go and wash the apple and eat it.
xxx: the apple
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101839
 14.08.2014
You can drink water if you know what I am talking about.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №101838
 14.08.2014
The Doctor of Biological Sciences in Painting tells the story of the battle of two ants.
I attack the enemy, I need help.
DL: You would write epic scenarios... F. Bondarchuk will film it, and Bezrukov will play the main role (for example, a sad disabled ants with a bitten ass). If you still invite Stas Mikhailov to sing chord songs, then the aunts will start crying in two quarters from the cinema.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101837
 14.08.2014
The company "Apple" on Tuesday, September 9, hosts an annual event, at which will present its new iPhone6 development.
So what am I about...? Oh, on September 9, all iPhone5 owners will become miserable, with which I congratulate you all! and ))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101836
 14.08.2014
The traitors of the homeland tried to accumulate pensions, but the brave minister Topilin defended our poor old age.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №101835
 14.08.2014
He crossed the road in the wrong place, shot down... the driver’s fault! It is responsibility!
He ran away, stumbled on the bench... the blame bench! She stood there!

A reasonable man is not always a reasonable man... Homo sapiens is the ability to think, but not always the ability to think.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №101834
 14.08.2014
But everything about the surrounding SSP world, the inhabitants of SSP are very little interested. The fact.
– – – – –
Because it is more interesting for them to equip their own country and their city, district, neighborhood, parade. In Russia, everyone knows how to settle any international conflict, but in the parade they have a slate, on the balcony a warehouse of rotten skies and old tires, and to cheat and steal - synonyms of the words "honour" and "worthiness". Take care of your country, learn not to mess where you live. The more people are interested in what surrounds them, the cleaner and richer their own country. Beyond the border, we can do without you. Wash the clothes at work first.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №101833
 14.08.2014
Баян one of the acquaintances ;) Lived in the neighborhood grandfather of the ugliest character and according to the Soviet rite. in the affairs of the neighbors. He was disturbed by everything and immediately everything that his grandfather clearly considered the reason for drawing up the "document". He stuck somehow to the neighbors to watch something (standard questions: do you have the TV working? Is there electricity? The pipes are running? and in the bathroom noticed that the water in the ceramic chair of blue colour (the table that can be dissolved in the household is sold special, if cha)).
Why is the water blue?
Neighbors found: In the JES declaration wrote - we included. Now on request all include if the stomach is not "six"
Everything is forgotten, time has passed.
A joking lady met with someone from JES, she is told: Grandfather was able to go to us to ask and complain to write, mol, include me blue water in the toilet, t.k. I am not six.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101832
 14.08.2014
... all over the world, hacked accounts of politicians are plotting all kinds of mess...
Electricity in the Russian Federation is true.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №101831
 14.08.2014
XXX: Ukrainians are free people, a brotherly people; Mudakhs are ukrops, screaming to Moskalya on a hill!
YYY: Coats to Ukrainians brothers? With such "brothers" and enemies
ZZZ: You were called a fool, not a brother

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101830
 14.08.2014
About the news : "Residents of the American village elected their mayor a dog"
Where are the budget funds allocated to repair the city?
The dog knows it!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101829
 14.08.2014
How do you feel about this turn? Talk to the alleged "producer".
Where is your factory?
Near the Novosibirsk
Can we come to see him?
It is difficult to get to the factory, 700 km from Novosibirsk.
Where is it specifically?
In Kazakhstan...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101828
 14.08.2014
How to remove the green?
Well, it depends on what to wipe off.)
That is all :(

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №101827
 14.08.2014
A girl came from the kindergarten with a finch under the eye.
Asking where, the answer is:
Artemis in the eye.
How? For what?
They argue.
Is that why he knocked you?
and no. For what I gave him in the eye.
What are you for him?
I accidentally hit.
Where was targeted?
Anywhere anywhere. In the eye of course.
Have they argued? Do not communicate?
No, we have already settled.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №101826
 14.08.2014
As in writing. Some are happy - we will shave our sleeves, make production, feed people, make money. Others – ah, oh, we’ll die of hunger, the GDP is bad, we’ll all die.
The first are the creators. The second are unnecessary and harmful animals, there are different managers and lodiers.
Per they need to specifically arrange difficulties to extinguish the naphid? They are not needed anyway.

Unnecessary and harmful puzzles are those who promise to squeeze their sleeves and set up production only at the pin of the authorities, and only in the absence of competitors. Until they have done anything, only approvals are scandalized.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №101825
 14.08.2014
Vladimir of Moscow asks to deliver for Polish radio listeners the song "Apple on the snow"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №101824
 14.08.2014
My daughter 3 years.
The boy saw a toy sword.
I want a sword too!
I: You are a girl, why is he to you?! to
Daughter: Why am I him?
I: Yeah, he’s a boy, boys need swords, pistols...
My daughter (thought): then let me buy a pink sword!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №101823
 14.08.2014
X: I am 15 years old. I am an amethyst, so I do not believe in God.

I am an Emerald. They will all die! )

Z: And I am a topaz. Wheel in the eye! )

A: And I am Beryl. Fuck the world!

I am a Ruby, that is, God is my Lord.

C: And I am Nikita. My favorite stone is Malachite.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101822
 14.08.2014
What are the knives?
Tagged: kitchen
What will you do with the knives?
yyy: the greens can be cut, food bags can be opened, the thread can be cut off
xxx: straight forward
YYY: What is horror?
A real man should tear the bags into pieces, like a beetle on his chest, with his naked hands, and throw the greens a whole bunch, straight with a rope and just quietly chew the rope in the salad?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №101821
 14.08.2014
I didn’t take 2 rubles in the bus today when calculating for the trip. Because I got a prize, I’m rich, I can afford THIS!

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