bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133550
 14.09.2016
After communicating with the evacuation workers, there was the impression that those who did not pass into the security guard are taken there.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133549
 14.09.2016
<koji> I can’t understand whether I hate my job or just hate working.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133548
 14.09.2016
We are in a car service for three. Vladimir is the driver, I and the lawyer of Oksana as passengers. We go through a T-shaped crossroads. There is a sign “Floating to the left is prohibited.” Nevertheless, the mark in this place is intermittent.
Oksana has the rights and drives the car. But Volodya decides to joke to test her knowledge of PD.
– Oksana, what do you think can you turn around in this place?
Oksana is reluctant and does not hesitate:
If there are no witnesses, then...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133547
 14.09.2016
In Shushensk, a teenager with a shock claimed a debt from a neighbor, it is said that the extortionist is a student of Shushensk Agricultural College.
Commentary :
Burjuy: Probably at the department "collector’s business" is studying.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133546
 14.09.2016
The most outspoken advertisement I saw two years ago, it praised some of the capital universities. On the stand was depicted an algebraic formula, written with a mask on a mirror, surrounded by hearts, and the slogan was "Come <to us>. Girls love maths!"
Never in my life have I so wanted to find a advertiser and spit him in the mouth for sincere lies =(

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133545
 14.09.2016
The client has a problem.
xhh: entered in his bd, rjem from the names of records
XHH: Then I remembered that this was a confidential inf.
XHHH: They began to roar quieter

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №133544
 14.09.2016
I never liked being tall: the sleeves and trousers are short, you beat around everything with your head, from people you see only the back of the head.

One day, still in school, I got a cold and went to the district therapist for treatment and hospital. When I entered the office, the doctor stirred me with a harsh glance over the glasses and said:

High is good. Get on the chair.

I thought it was an innovative method of inspection, dropped the tapes and clumped up on the tables standing in front of the window.

But instead of listening to the stethoscope and examining the throat with a stick, the doctor got curtains from somewhere and ordered them to hang.

Since I coughed during the hanging, the hospital was still given.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133543
 14.09.2016
Prices for paintings in the vernacular segment are not related to their artistic qualities. It is just an investment of capital, and everyone hopes to sell to the next more expensive. The usual market bubble, you can blow up anything, but there is still a flood of culture, also for the reputation is useful.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133542
 14.09.2016
XX: I am so hated that I will die from a heart attack.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №133541
 14.09.2016
Last year, the theater in which I work won a grand prize at one major international festival. This is a great achievement, especially for the local theatre. But the matter is not even that.

On a certain day, the Governor of the district came to congratulate us. I walked around the theatre, respected, agreed that the theater needs to allocate money. After that, in the office of the director, accompanied by many photographers of the local media, he handed out a certificate for 100,000₽. The money in the framework of a cultural institution is not big, well, well, in such a farm any money in the business.

After a while, the theater returned to its usual routine. I decided to cash out the certificate (I don’t know how the correct wording of this action sounds, well, fuck it). And here a surprise awaited us. The paper presented by the governor has no legal force and no one will give money to anyone.

Thus, the power-owned man stumbled, and the theater sent a lap. and all.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133540
 14.09.2016
I love to see the ruins of old buildings and castles. Are there ancient ruins in America?

YYY : of course. For example, Hillary Clinton

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133539
 14.09.2016
xxx: from childhood and for many years for me the word "bestseller" was forbidden)
Xh: The reason is that my mom had a book about romantic relationships, I once opened it on a random page and saw a description of the fairy tale there.
xh: From that moment on, the word "bestseller" has been a bit like "bustgaller" for me — a word that I did not dare to say out loud))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133538
 14.09.2016
Two men in the store.
We take that bread.
Why this?
It’s cheap and soft, and it’s done.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133537
 14.09.2016
I pull a balloon with water. Meeting a man.
Stopped for a second.
Oh man. With full waters. thank you!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133536
 14.09.2016
"On avito these perforators sell for 10 thousand rubles per box"
What matters is not what you sell, but what you buy.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133535
 14.09.2016
Zav: Let’s go; what do you want from me? and :-)
I want friendly advice.
Zav: Ask me, I will tell you
Why am I going to strain you.
Zav: Then don’t ask. Good day.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №133534
 14.09.2016
In general, a five-year-old child should be able to "structured and consistently express his thoughts." Fuck, half of my real adult acquaintances don’t know this, not to mention the anonymous from the internet! More than ever close to mom "these teachers terrorize children with excessive demands!".

Now think about it. Why do many adults not know how to express their thoughts smoothly and consistently?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133533
 14.09.2016
You have forgotten me Arcadia.
In the lodge in winter.
No wonder it became
I am so cold to you.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133532
 14.09.2016
(About the coffee)
- for twenty-three hryvnia it is so small, acidic and sprinkled... that is, he. Although not, that is it. Small and premature.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №133531
 14.09.2016
Do you think I have little trouble? Let’s pretend that you didn’t call me before,” one of the interlocutors of RBC, who got on the list of “candidates” of Khodorkovsky, suggested.

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