bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148206
 15.01.2018
The expert announced:

The lamp opens not simply, but very simply. A child will obviously be better with two colliding parents, but filled and dressed, than with one mother suffocating at work and work < >

You better ask psychologists how eternal parental scandals affect the child’s psyche. I'll tell you, as a child of such a union - at 35 years old, I've been wrapping circles with pills and a therapist for a year, working out childhood injuries and periodic attacks of wild depression, when I just want to shake my brains or use a loop. At the same time, my peers - the children of divorced parents have their backbone, of course, but before mine they are like a pedestrian to the moon.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148205
 15.01.2018
Do not exaggerate, it will break away.
They do not go to the army annually, so counting all from 18 to 28 is not necessary - who has no delay - came back at 18, a year later, and no longer goes, who has - did not go, instead of him went 20 or 23-year-old, whose delay ended. The 18-year-old men in Ulyanovsk are less than three thousand. Of them, 380 were called into the autumn call, as many as in the spring. Even around that without any call went to the military school, their goods are right in Ulyanovsk. Or elsewhere, instead of the army" places - now and in the police of non-service are taken.

I consider the recruitment army to be a harmful anachronism, and I am very pleased that it has been cut down for at least a year. I think it would be this year to break down on the “young fighter’s course” on the summer holidays class in 8-9, the “advanced course” in a year or two and the “repetition and consolidation” in a month every 3-4 years. It is normal to provide contractors. A march on the plateau and other remnants of the 17th century to remove it.

To compare the army with births is nonsense. These two things are almost no different, except for one thing - with the right organization can be voluntary and respected, with a swamp - dangerous and severe hemorrhoids, to which you have to call bad agitation and drive out of the sticks. This is true for any case.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148204
 15.01.2018
Kolya: I remembered how I came to the old job and it turned out that the previous administrator was also called Kolya... it was convenient... well, this is when I was fired and took a new person to his place one of the criteria was...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148203
 15.01.2018
There will be no refusal to give birth to the grandmother.

For the refusal to give birth to the baby will be a surgical operation with unclear health consequences.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148202
 15.01.2018
With every post about responsibilities, I value my proper husband more and more, thank you for that.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148201
 15.01.2018
An old joke as a pop maid hired

It was a story.
“You will wash the cattle, you will clean the courtyard, you will feed the cows, you will let them go, you will go to the bowl and you will sleep and rest.”
And such "shorts" for one working day in this fairy tale were twenty. Although she is purely prosaic, for some reason she fits well on a "Sulico" type of motive - official duties are short-talking, and at the end of the refrain grows.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148200
 15.01.2018
And I was also once called "P*Dorom" in online poker. I was confused. What can I answer a person with a nick "svinoeb"?? to

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №148199
 15.01.2018
Yuzwer: Why is the desire to go out the window a call to suicide and ban immediately, and the desire to die is a provocation and a warning?
Moderator: Well, because desire to die is not a call to suicide. A "go out into the window", "opens up", "strike yourself" and all this is a call.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148198
 15.01.2018
It has long been time for the citizen to obtain a cozy forum, where those wishing to be ashamed about the next quote, the dumbobchiki could do this in a narrow circle of themselves, without saturating the citizen himself with his very important opinion for all.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148197
 15.01.2018
My grandfather told me that as soon as he saw the Titanic, he immediately said that the ship would sink. But no one listened to him.
He tried to warn people, but in vain - he was called an old alkas and expelled from the cinema.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148196
 15.01.2018
From Quantum Computers:
To an unconscious man it may seem that the quantum future has already arrived — and yes, and no.

Probably the journalists themselves did not understand the magnificence of this phrase :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148195
 15.01.2018
- Oh, I beg you, when in the spring in the Moscow metro announced an air alarm - what a panic there, nobody led the eyebrow.

Which option should they have acted on?
1st Run around the car, loudly speaking the letter "A".
2nd Immediately leave the subway and hide on the surface.
Three Go down to the deeper metro.
4 is To occupy combat posts of calculations of the air defense system of the Moscow metro according to the staff schedule.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148194
 15.01.2018
If your husband is stupid and selfish it is your choice, if your wife is stupid and foolish it is the same.

Only if he or she announces it. You know, our square nest, people 1) show themselves from the best side during care, hiding the shortcomings (consciously or not), 2) CHANGE with the years and when the situation changes. In particular, a woman who was married to an officer told me that he was much less off when she had the opportunity to work. Unfortunately, when they lived in military towns, there were simply no female vacancies, but when he was transferred to the city, she always worked. And before the wedding, he did not say a word that he was going to oppress her when she became dependent on him. Strange, they usually have to warn, right?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148193
 15.01.2018
Q: Do you want another cork? How did the kids play me yesterday? = 0
XX: I am going home. There are no late cousins. We went home to sleep. I walk into the kitchen, I say to my cat, "Hello Musa," she responds, I guard her and I go on. Strangely, I don’t think there’s any more reaction to me. and Laden. I stand to cook, I call Mussa, I give her a piece of meat, she eats. Then I sat down to eat, the cat lay next to me. I guard her. And she let me whisper, I tell her that you’re all about eating, I take her on my arms and I understand that she’s offgenically heavy. I look, and here it comes. Kids of cats changed =DD (We both have practically identical cats, both Muse, the difference is only in the more colorful color of their cat, well, and their one is more fed). In the evening, you can’t distinguish without good light. I understood the weight. My Musa was taken to play and his Musa was brought to replace and waited for a reaction.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №148192
 15.01.2018
Anger is heated by this shooting of housekeepers and heroes of the couch troops. Give each other a mind elsewhere, and here people who understand subtle humor and cynical sarcasm rest from the realities of life. Get out of our sandbox, you have swept us all the sand.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148191
 15.01.2018
<In Kuzbass under the roof of the house found a frozen body>
Regel: It was found in time, or it would have been removed in the spring. Whichever headlines were then... "The Sosulka who killed an old lady in Kuzbass was a previously convicted unemployed Kuzbassov". "A man killed his neighbor under the appearance of a puppy".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148190
 15.01.2018
Do you love each other and do not respect each other??? I have been married for 6 years. <a description of how it is NOT difficult to do all the work at home because the little things are for yourself>

Oh, it is all so. There is strength, but there are no children. But then to most aunts something begins to come... But it’s usually too late.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148189
 15.01.2018
My friends gave my grandmother a new mattress for her 90th birthday. She entertained all the guests with screams: don't throw out the old mattress, I had sex on it!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148188
 15.01.2018
How they suffer! But (recalling the recent fight) the care of protection is transferred to men.

No one has translated. Everyone demanded that men respect the issues of protection for equal. Or do you mean that refusing to take postinor as a contraception is a transfer of responsibility to a man?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148187
 15.01.2018
Here it is simple: if a man is shit, then he will behave accordingly. Independent of gender.
Do not worry, and you will be lucky.

My dear, but all conflicts happen for one reason: each side believes that the opponent behaves like a shit. He requires too much, gives too little. The only way out is to try to look at the situation from the opposite side. Women have long been able to compare, for example, caring for a baby and going to work. And the men? Hint: the vast majority of moms are eager to finally set up a child in the kindergarten and go to work. Why do you think so?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna