bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №71577
 15.10.2012
I think it was easier to come before.
When there were few people.
Julia: the new one was taken there for lunch and t
Julia: and now
What an ignorance.
I think the poor lady is still ignored.
Nastya: Who is this Masha?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №71576
 15.10.2012
The story ended yesterday at the zoo. A grandmother with a granddaughter, a 6-year-old girl. The child is disappointed with an empty cage with lemurs:
Where are the lemurs?
The grandmother pairs with a completely stone face:
Let the Lemurs die!

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71575
 15.10.2012
Commentary on social advertising about love on YouTube:

by micha1zigun
After watching the video, he confessed to the girl in love. She said something like "You’re very dear to me, but, unfortunately, only as a friend. I hope you will find your love". Thanks to the author of the roll. We will meet in hell.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №71574
 15.10.2012
Commentary on the Stratospheric Jump by Felix Baumgartner.

NASA is testing whether it is possible to send astronauts to Earth from the ISS without a capsule.
"You are funny, and NASA will now require our Samara engineers to save on the drop-down capsules, like we've all tested, you can do without them.

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71573
 15.10.2012
A discussion of the fact that the vandals broke out the surveillance cameras in one of the Vladivostok underground crossings:

xxx: cameras hit, but they are recording at best

YYY: And you should shoot in short rows, let go of the poisonous gas and throw the boilers of boiling resin on the heads of the vandals. The cameras have a chance to survive.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71572
 15.10.2012
Yesterday, at 15:30 local time, a missile cruiser and a submarine collided near the Pacific coast of the United States. The investigation has already begun, but the guilty will most likely be recognized Kuwait or the UAE.

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71571
 15.10.2012
Aaron... Grandfather stumbled the cable, the flag broke the width and swept on it with taste, on the wire. Only one thing he did not guess - his grandfather worked in some research institute and for some reason brought home a half-toraton transformator of 80 kilovolt, from which he asked for a cable. Eb@zero flag so that fingerprints are left on the #we))

Can we stop inventing history? What is a 80 kilovolt transformer? There are no such. at all. And even if it were, where would he ask the transformator himself? There are no such lines. In the third, in the destroyers of the legends, everyone said correctly, there will be no electric current damage (the current of urine is a lot of varied drops and not a continuous stream as many think). It’s hard to read your stupid fictional stories. And believe from a 10 kilovoltaic wire lying on the ground and under voltage will all put the water in a radius of 7-8 meters. So we would not be able to get around. So you should at least read on the internet before posting your fictional stories. They borrowed!

[ + 29 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71570
 15.10.2012
J: It is not fair! When I make you coffee, I pour milk and sugar, and you put a cup of coffee, a bag of milk and a sugar bar before me!
I: This is Linux, baby.

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71569
 15.10.2012
What kind of kindergarten, right?

My perfect company.
Secretary: 3 size, beautiful, unmarried, without principles
See also: Sm. Secretary
The guardian: a healthy man, protecting from the puzzles that will want to write out the secretary's husband and mom

Dreaming even right, and even the deputy and secretary are not married, but the guard from their husbands protects.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71568
 15.10.2012
Do you want tea?
He is: No
Do you want tea?
He: I do not know
Do you want tea?
He is: Yes

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №71567
 15.10.2012
xxx: I didn’t really understand about the jump – is it now that astronauts will be dropped straight from the orbit?

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71566
 15.10.2012
My mom retired and moved wherever you think - to the Pension Fund. The Department of "Fighting Debt" Such a collector. The main duty is to pack letters with debts in envelopes. 99% of the debts were formed due to software disagreements in the enterprise and in the PF itself. Accordingly, the minimum debt is 1 (one!!!) The maximum is 2 (two!) and copies.
In total: to send one such letter you need to pay the mail 28 rubles (!!!), plus ZP specialist 15-20 tr per month. One day such letters are sent 500-900 pieces. I’m not talking about paper and cartridge.
As practice has shown (the above-mentioned letter came to my address today), the accountant has long since listed this penny. I paid 80 more!!! rubles for payment. I’m not talking about paper and cartridge.
Is there anyone else hoping to get a pension?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №71565
 15.10.2012
What is raised quickly is not considered to have fallen...Damn, it is already considered. Cats pick up faster.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №71564
 15.10.2012
- I have a pasha coming home on Friday, I put a fried potato with mushrooms in my plates, and he turned on the computer and the jets.

- Because I found the last search there on Google: "How to roast potatoes"))

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №71563
 15.10.2012
I have an eye-catching grandmother. Neither my mother, nor my teacher, nor my friends told me this.
When I was 9 years old, she told me about the Chinese torture with water, about the Chinese delicatessen - the monkey's brains, which are eaten directly from the head of a living monkey. About the traditions of one tribe, in which, starting from about five years of age, women wear copper rings on the neck, and that if a woman somehow blamed, the rings were removed and the neck broke. About the Chinese kings who planted children in a vase and the children grew up in the shape of this vase... and much, much more.
Now I seem to guess why I am so interested in torture, various bloody stories and other cruelty now :DD

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №71562
 15.10.2012
Recently heard at the warehouse complex (the phrase of one of the drunkarders at the entrance).
“College, don’t get angry with me, otherwise I’ll have to turn into an untouched cynical creature.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №71561
 15.10.2012
Is your vision worsening?
YYY: Well now -2,5
xxx is figured. Should be treated
How about sitting on the black? ?
No, then wash your pants.
Eat it better.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №71560
 15.10.2012
Running to work admin causes unhealthy interest. Particular spicyness is given by a beard wrapped behind the shoulder by the wind.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №71559
 15.10.2012
[0:05:21] Olya: I look at pictures with naked grandmothers in the net
[0:05:35] Denis: Em?
Olga is at work!
Denis: Take me to your assistants

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №71558
 15.10.2012
Moscow, 14 oct - PRAYM. An-3 aircraft of the Ministry of Emergencies of Russia arrived on Sunday afternoon in the Ural to join the search for the missing An-2 aircraft in the summer.
Hunting for the nerve!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna