bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105510
 15.11.2014
HHH: And I got the cocktails straight!! to
No one has collapsed!!! to
HGH: Glory for the 170R and long years of life
May its cover be blessed, and may not its barbaric metal be touched in the hands of the handy.


[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №105509
 15.11.2014
Rosetta made the first photo of the surface of the comet Churyumov-Gerasimenko and found on the surface of the house of the director of Ren-TV

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105508
 15.11.2014
The child is learning computer science. "Mom help..." from the word "run" in five steps you need to do "step". In the process of converting the word I added "bag". It gives a rating of 2, no such word.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №105507
 15.11.2014
The Optimist Father:

Have you ever seen two or four year old kids? What kindness and education??? At this age, children at the level of development "what I see, I sing".
“Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children. Now I have six children and no theory.”
____________________________

Try not only to start, but also to educate. I managed, but the truth and only two children, as many as I could normally raise and raise.

In the bus, the driver approaches a young man:
Pay for the trip!
I am a single father.
How many children do you have?
and 10.
God, how are you dealing with them all?! to
What should I deal with them? They live with their mothers.
And you?! to
I am a single father.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105506
 15.11.2014
here here :

I also had a story with "Upyr" (read, it seems, in ninth grade)....

The weak...
To me, a fifteen-year-old sister in my five read under the corresponding decoration - a dark apartment, only a fire, a strong thunderstorm on the street, we are at home two, we lie on the parent's couch, and she expresses, sometimes swinging, reading out loud. Maybe because it’s hard to imagine anything more terrifying than playing with her in the hospital for 2 years before, when she very naturally pretended that she would be doing the operation now and this moment will cut my naked stomach with a sharp kitchen knife, which I was strictly forbidden to touch at all. My mother went up to the fifth floor when she heard my wild cries down there.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105505
 15.11.2014
I go to the shopping center. I am overtaken by the carapuse with the screams: "Di-i-i-ma-a-a! D-I-I-I-M-A-A!and "
Here appears a stinking mom and even louder in the footsteps of the baby: "Not Di-i-i-m-a! and Daddy!!and "
O_O

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №105504
 15.11.2014
Electricity has been hidden for years. You won’t pay for the light if you turn off.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105503
 15.11.2014
XX: I wonder why is Russia so looking to the pole?
Wut: Well, from there, for example, it is convenient to spin the entire world on the genital organ...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105502
 15.11.2014
We stand with a friend in the doorstep: - Hold the basket, the mints are coming.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105501
 15.11.2014
Withdrawn from the army as a captain, friends now often call me "Kap" and don't get tired of cuddling, buying a light beer for me called "Light Beer".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105500
 15.11.2014
From the G20 Forum:

Security measures will be strengthened during the event. Residents and guests will be prohibited from carrying in certain areas chopsticks, squirrels, eggs, reptiles and insects capable of hurting humans, laser clues, swords, bows and arrows, as well as objects issuing sounds that can upset dogs or horses.

The main thing is not to upset anyone.)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105499
 15.11.2014
This is:

There is no smell here. To the elected, I explain: a truly educated person will never descend to the insults of an opponent, even censorship.

Blue, have you ever read "Mishkin's legs"? What are you trying to prove here? What to comment on the appearance of a woman lying with a child in the hospital, and laugh at her, it is normal and even intelligent, and to call the hammer doing this a hammer - not? Yes, you have not only with education, but also with the head.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №105498
 15.11.2014
Yes, to admit that you don’t live in Moscow, but in St. Petersburg – it’s strong...I’m just from Siberia and I’m more sirenely...:)...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105497
 15.11.2014
XX: When I see such inventions, I ask myself and the author one simple question: Why does Mercedes not do that??? If I can't find a clear explanation, I think the product is useless.
YYY: I also wonder, why don’t you drive on a Mercedes? I think you are useless because you don’t have a Mercedes.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105496
 15.11.2014
Ah, once it went about bars - we have a bar, bar "Bar". They serve beer "Beer" and vodka "Wodka".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105495
 15.11.2014
Petrovich from the rubber women’s repair workshop every day glues dozens of other women’s girlfriends.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105494
 15.11.2014
HHHH
It is time to protest against information wars, such as "Make News Not Thief"!!! to
Zzz
All news on TV channels work in the spirit of an anecdote:
There are rabbin elections in the synagogue. Everyone offers Rabinovich. He stood up:
Can I say my opinion?
Please tell me.
- Here you offer Rabinovich, and in the meantime his daughter is a prostitute.
“Haymovich, what do you say! Rabinovich has no daughter. He has four sons and that’s all.
I said my opinion, and you decide.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105493
 15.11.2014
Enot, by the way, put himself in the closet, folded everything, but things he did not like he broke, hid or thrown away. The wallpapers and curtains didn’t like him right away.
*****************

It was an enot-muzhig!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №105492
 15.11.2014
From comments to the Hubble survey on the topic: "Which OS and what are you programming on?"

david_mz: Hm, and if I program on Go for Win, but then compile into a binary for FreeBSD, where it works – then what do I choose?and :)
Pansa: Add the item “I am a mistake” for this gentleman! and ;-)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №105491
 15.11.2014
Here is here:
-------
And at our wedding (or rather, before the wedding) I was the "winner". well, my body could not accept the need to spend such money on accounting for a crowd of unfamiliar citizens to me. I egoistically wanted to spend them exclusively for my pleasure. Maybe that’s why I’m divorced and no one is getting married anymore :)
--------
Go out for me! and :)

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