A few years ago I got on the operating table - I was undergoing surgery on my leg. It was on March 3, just before International Women’s Day. On the leg had to do several incisions, the extreme of which in the pelvis along the line of bending of the leg.

So, I am under anesthesia on the table, I am cut all over. But 20 minutes before the operation ends, the anesthesia begins to release, and I wake up. I opened my eyes without burning - in front of me a tissue screen, because of which nothing is visible. Well, I was upset and decided to pretend to sleep further, so as not to upset the surgeon (I was done anesthesia in the spine, from which I did not feel the legs and everything below the belt, so it was virtually not painful). Shortly, it comes to the extreme cuts, just near my farm.

It, clear foam, interferes, and the surgeon constantly pushes it aside. Obviously from all these manipulations I had such a normal stand!

I understood this not only by the laughter of everyone in the operating room, but also because the two young nurses sitting next to the head jumped sharply at all of this.

In short, I am lying down with myself standing on the operating table and pretending to be the most sleepy person on earth – a shameful cape! And here the surgeon, referring to the anesthesiologist, issues a mega-epic phrase (I will remember, soon March 8): "Petrovich, I will come to you on March 8, you will do me the same anesthesia - I will please my wife!“...

I have never demonstrated such a willpower!

When people shoot me to smoke, I always open a cigar.

And there I have self-wrapping from the machete and the newspaper. No one has eaten yet. Even the bombs.

You say we are living badly.

I’m in the subway car this morning. The guy who runs after me does not have time and crashes into the closed doors in front of him. He smiles, sends me an air kiss, the mood of a person is apparently playful. I smile to him and respond.

At the next door I see a roaring colleague, sometimes we cross the road to work, he lives 2 stops away from me. We rise together, we rise together. A man’s voice from behind the back: “Girl, do you know everyone in the subway?” I turn my head, ba, the former coach of my son, at 7 years of his training, does not remember me, of course. 12 years passed. “Hello, not everyone, but I know you are a coach in the children’s football section.”

I’ll say hello to everyone when I get into the car tomorrow. In any case.

Xxx: I will remind you that one of the tasks of the Ministry of Finance is to complain about the lack of money, cry and not give



Yyy: Suspiciously reminds me of my ex

The best guarantee of the condemnation of power is its interchangeability.

Working in multitasking!
Oh my God, how beautiful it was called.

A familiar woman-dietist told a funny story from the 90s about one of her patients. I will call her Marina and his Sergei.



Sergey in the past was an athlete, then engaged in business, succeeded in it. But relaxed without the daily stresses that were in the sport. Again, the "shale" money appeared, delicacies, alcohol and so on. As a result, the guy gained under 150 kg, hardly got into his jeep. I asked for advice from a friend of Marina. He sent her a fairy fee if she left all the former clients and took care only of them.



Marina took care of the matter. I developed a special diet for Sergey strictly on hours and with certain products, bioadditives, a complex of exercises, acupuncture, massages, meditation and something else there (I am not special in these matters, so I did not get into the details). They met once a week, convened daily for correction and control.



Sergey was a disciplined client and strictly followed all her instructions. The results did not slow to affect after a short time - he really began to throw out the excess, which inspired both to continue the classes with even greater zeal.



A year later, Sergei dropped about 80 kg, was absolutely happy. He built, broke down, paid more to Marina than he promised. It was the last meeting, when he said on the phone that he could not come to her - he had an urgent business trip for a couple of weeks. Sergey promised to come immediately upon arrival from this trip.



He called Marina, told her he had arrived and was ready to meet her.



A bell to the door - Marina opened and (further her words quote):



“I almost fainted – Sergey stood on the threshold with a huge bouquet of flowers, smiling to the whole mouth, but...He was even thicker than before we started our classes! Not less than 200 kg at first glance!!! I am in shock!!! to

How is it!! How did he get back in 2 weeks what he wasted in a year of hard work!!!! to

I could not say a word. In my head there were thoughts about my complete incompetence, about some kind of Sergey’s illness, about the need to change the profession.



What happened to you? I asked when I could talk.

Nothing, everything is fine! Here is my brother brought to you, he also wants to lose weight, seeing my results!

With these words from the back of the first "Sergei" came out the second - a complete copy of the first, only already slim and ardent, with the same smile on the face.

“Sorry, Marina, you decided to play a little bit with my brother. This is my twin brother, we are constantly confused.



I almost killed them both later.“..