bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138848
 15.02.2017
1st I will treat you like an equal, like a colleague at work... hold, beer, brother. Agree with?
Go to the grandparents, brother.
And no, you are a man!

According to your logic, once we have equal rights, then I have the right to answer you something like - you don't want grandmothers, let's go together for a manicure, friend!
And if you are serious, then your tirade is nothing more than another quarrel from the class "ah, if equal rights, then let women also be beaten and taken to the army". Thinking at the level of XIX. (in the best case): male – right, everything else, i.e. The female is wrong.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138847
 15.02.2017
I am treated with a bacteriophage in liquid form. Dropping with a pipette is not an option: the long and exact dose (as prescribed by the manual) is not measured.
Summary: Skill perfectly pumped "snuhaj from a teaspoon two cubes of solution". First one nose, then the other.
All of Health!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138846
 15.02.2017
I understand everything, of course, but going to the toilet and seeing on the bottom of the toilet (sorry for the details)
> scratches long returned to reality :( it is scary to guess how they are there
> we have...

Someone’s spiritual scratches have fallen away.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138845
 15.02.2017
xxx: And the last idea on the subject: dogs are very helpful in establishing contact. Just take a dog from your girlfriend and take a walk in Gorky Park. Your dog will lead you to the right people. Don’t forget to compliment your dog owners. I hope you are not allergic to these wonderful animals.
Allergy to dogs is very rare.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138844
 15.02.2017
I look out the window...the dog sat down to cheat on the snow...happiness...and here the legs failed!!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138843
 15.02.2017
XXX: Changed the tete somehow the syphon tk. Buying a new one was cheaper than cleaning the existing one from food residues, crushed branches, small bones, etc. that came from somewhere. To get rid of the reappearance of such problems put a removable grid, showed how to clean. After 2 weeks, the new siphon is sealed with almost the same composition, the net is removed. To the question "why?" the witch answered "so faster it passes". Having made Facebookpalm put an indelible grid, I hope it won't turn off.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №138842
 15.02.2017
When will the cold end and the heat start?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138841
 15.02.2017
She: Don’t look at it, there’s my home video.
He: What is it?
She: You will see.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №138840
 15.02.2017
The discussion:

Recently in the news it was that the girl was stolen and she called from the trunk. How did the signal pass through the metal?
WOW: The wrong question. Would she be found if the kidnapper was not an idiot and searched for the kidnapped woman?
CCZ: If the car was not quite old, then it could get out of the trunk itself.
RR: And if it’s new, I could connect to canbus's and come home.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №138839
 15.02.2017
As one electrician said, people are afraid of electricity in two cases – because they don’t understand how it works, and because they understand how it works.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138838
 15.02.2017
The PFF! Three flashes burned.

Five will burn, and the flash will play.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138837
 15.02.2017
One British edition searched for the owner of the oldest Nokia 3310. The work phone was found in the resident of England Dave Mitchell. His phone is 17 years old. Mitchell said that over the years the phone has been dropped on the floor many times, washed and even immersed in the curry sauce.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138836
 15.02.2017
There are regular disputes about who is forcing women to wear makeup - the pressure of the patriarchate or the desire to hang out in front of other women.

Meanwhile, a crowd of girls of our IT firm is going to congratulate men from February 23. They offer ideas:
Let’s make cards with prints of painted lips!
Hey hihi, let’s go.
Who has a mask?
And then there is an uncomfortable silence, because there is no clothes even in the office manager.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138835
 15.02.2017
Conversation on a couple in Meduniver:

1: LOL, phenolphthalein - laxative. I wonder how it works?
The elementary, Watson In the stomach acid, and phenolphthalene is transparent. As soon as it enters the alkaline environment of the intestine, it is painted in a raspberry color. The intestine feeds and gives relief.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138834
 15.02.2017
I am such a woman, fucking.
Ghostwheel: What, were there doubts?
Fiona: finished work early, soon my husband will come, we will go to the restaurant, February 14 and so on
Fiona: found a dress and shoes, smashed her face with a mask
Fiona: passed by the refrigerator, looked - empty, started making cakes
Fiona: I just remembered it.
Fiona: now the main thing is that the restaurant is not cancelled, or the husband learns the cocktails and will not go anywhere :(
ghostwheel: go hide what is )))

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №138833
 15.02.2017
Did your relatives turn on the light while you were not at home? It can at least be wiped out. Our parents changed our door while we were on vacation. The entrance, Carl They decided to make us a surprise. We arrived, and the door is completely different and the keys do not fit! Thank you Dad.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138832
 15.02.2017
Nokia will re-release the iconic mobile phone 3310".

The Prelude. A little high-tech will not hurt.

The body (and so indestructible) should be made of adamantium and recover all the damage.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138831
 15.02.2017
The tornado.

"xxx: When I see in a downloaded book the phrase "This is the end of the introductory fragment", it only encourages me to find and download the full version of the book/film/softy."

ZZZ: It is not a fact. Sometimes you breathe with relief.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138830
 15.02.2017
Basic Collector

A short list of debts:

Man must be free.
The sun should rise at 8:45
Fish should be fresh.
The moon will collide with Earth in 65 billion years.
The sun will have to turn into a red giant in 5 billion years (but the moon will have to stand up, because in 65 billion years it will have to find some Earth).

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №138829
 15.02.2017
>> Well guy, well you and the barrel in the bed, if the crowning of your girlfriend is more interesting. < <<

Okay, maybe we just don’t know everything about the crucifixion? On accountants, they say, when the report comes together - such a feeling!
He tried but did not overcome...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna