bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №155989
 15.03.2021
Many years ago I went with my family from Sochi. Travelled Kotelnikovo, to Volgograd 150 kilometers. I go to the gas station, there is a line, 20 cars on one column, 100 kilometers later, another gas station is closed. Anyone who has been there knows that the infrastructure in this area is the same. Gasoline just to Volgograd, and then if you go in the economy mode. I switched off the condor, 90 km / h, it is already night, the road is empty, rare cars exceed at high speed. The family sleeps. Here, I notice, behind a jeep, four lights on the roof light. I add speed, the jeep too, I reduce to 40, the jeep too. The road is empty, there are no settlements, there are still signs hanging with a warning, such as to stop dangerously, stop only at the GIBDD post. I waited a lot then. I think that if we were rushed to this sea, we would have sunbathed on the shores of the Volga. Something bad? well well! I think the accomplices are probably waiting in front, these are passing behind, swimming, fucking. With these thoughts, I went to Volgograd. I go to the gas station, the jeep stops from behind, a man comes out: "Hello, landlord. The navigator broke, fortunately I saw your Tatar numbers. “Why did you drive so slowly?”

Earth, if you’re reading this, don’t do that anymore. There is one road to Volgograd, would not be lost.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №155988
 15.03.2021
The xxx:

I remember my shortest interview.

This is what? (Put your finger into the scheme)

The Resistant.

What is he playing there? (It goes to my player)

and Dorset.

Monday at 8 p.m. with documents.

It was less than a minute).



YYYY :

My shortest interview.

I came to arrange in the office. I went to the director. He said, go to the engineer. He asks questions. We go to the engineer-and there my former colleague sits, with whom we worked side by side for 5 years. He resigned for a few years as a former member.

Oh my hello.

by Zadar.

and AMM

and emm.

All standards are appropriate.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №155987
 15.03.2021
xxx: We have a cat and a dog at home, and it's so fun to notice the contrast between the grace and accuracy of a cat and just fuck what a dog's clumsiness :)

On the other hand, the cat is of the opinion that it is we at his house live, and not he at us, but with the dog somehow much more warm feelings :)



Yyy: This is always the case, you live with the cat at home, and warm feelings for the dog. It is disgusting.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №155986
 15.03.2021
Xxx in a day. I hadn’t eaten since morning all day. Near the evening, another departure - firefighters during the extinguishment of the fire found the body. The man burned nobly - like a chicken grill, his legs from knees to feet were overburned. I approach the firefighter, who is just standing at the body. The firefighter says, “The captain...” I have not eaten all day. The nose catches the smell of dull roasted meat, saliva is released and in response the firefighter hears a wild whistling from my belly. I remember how he hit me then. And I wasn’t clever that fucking, I left from the winding side.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155985
 15.03.2021
God created people equal, but something went wrong.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №155984
 15.03.2021
Language school in Valencia. It is very pleasant to see that the Russian language occupies a strong position in the international market.
Signature on the poster: "The funny words your gaming friends use? Go to us and you will understand what they mean.”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №155983
 15.03.2021
I don’t understand why people are worried about immigrants.

My neighbors are Russian.
All the children in the school are Russian.
All the shops are Russian.

I like it here in Israel.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №155982
 15.03.2021
One of my acquaintances moved to live in the village and caught a chicken. He himself is a city resident and masters rural life through trials and mistakes. His first ten chickens were brown and carried brown eggs. For me personally, it was a discovery that brown chickens carry brown eggs and white chickens are white. But the story is not about that. I wanted my friend white eggs for variety. For this purpose, 10 white chickens were purchased immediately. But the cock did not accept new chickens. He drove them away from food, mercilessly slayed them, and neither wings. The cock was eaten for dinner. A new chicken was bought, which began to cheerfully cover the whole chickenhouse without a breakdown. Question: Why did the old cock behave like this? My friend said philosophically: I don’t know. Maybe it was racist :)

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