XXX: I was fired again. This is the third time I have to go to the army.
Yyy: Three times from the first course – you are strong. I think you and the army will be removed in half a year.

Ash: You could call me.
I broke the phone somewhere.
Shade: Oh
by SHI
...
and Shade:
All of it?
Thanks, I found it
It is good that the old Nokia is loud.
If I could find my phone in my shoe.

While I was putting in the capsule, I forgot what I wanted to write!

From Twitter:

Pope Francis ‏ @Moscow_advokat
It turns out that Titanic drowned on Stolypin’s birthday, just on the 50th anniversary. I don’t think the celebration was too dark.

Max Crylov ‏ @makseest
@Moscow_advokat If you consider that he was killed six months earlier, it is not at all.

A friend bought a Bear Grills knife.
“Now I have a knife and instructions on how to survive with it... but it’s in English, so we’re going to die.

In Irkutsk, the polytech was built in the shape of the letter "Z", and next to three houses, the first two in the shape of the letters HU, but they did not decide to build further =)

Give me the coordinates on Google Maps :)

I met a girl on the internet.
They talked:
...
I: How are you with polyglot?
D: What is it? You guys are all the same.
blocked contact

KRAPA: I lost the bank guard yesterday. I sat in the mentorship.
TryeL: Ah, how did you like that?
Krupa: He was the first to start. I did until the last.
TryeL : he-he, that is to say, Krapa came to the bank, and then a guard hit him, he said "and there is an account here? What if I find it?" and how will it give in the cheek. :-D
I didn’t even go to the bank. He was fucking on the street. You are a fucking hero.
TryeL: So is the rest exactly like that? O_O
Krapa: No, the shirt broke, shit, pull inside tried.
TryeL : to pull into the bank?, that is, now the banks are forcibly pulling people to give them a loan or open an account?
I was sitting under the tree in front of the bank.
TryeL : aaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!! Crab, you made my day!! to

People know the movie:

For the first and last time, please help me find a childhood film.
A young teacher of karate, a group of his students, a song of a tribe that was subsequently modernized by one of the students, and the teacher's final fight with someone - here are fragments of memories about this film.

This is the film "Only the strongest" info 100%.

How did you decide to do repairs in the kitchen?
I was wondering what was under the linoleum.

Conversation between the seller and the buyer:
Is there any lottery?
U – no
Take a condom for 5 rubles.
This is the lottery.

After watching the show "Who Wants to Become a Millionaire" with Dana Borisova, a 25-year-old six-grade student of the school for mentally retarded Vovochka Sidorov suddenly realized that nothing has been lost in his life at all.

And if I have sex with a schizophrenic, is it counted as group sex?

from Chery Tiggo :)

Read the forum carefully! True Cherivodes on the descents from the mountains cut off the engine, remove the key and run next to the car to save gasoline!”

2(che)n: If they still bring idiots with a light bulb in their mouths, why do you think there should be fewer idiots with a shit in their ass?
By the way, the transition to energy-saving lamps will solve at least one problem - there will be fewer idiots with a bulb in their mouths.
DDD: But there will be more idiots with a light bulb in their ass.

A second-class boy asks his father:
Who are the Albinoes?
Dad (a little bit of a bit):
- Well... you know... there are such genetic changes at the level of chromosomes...

Would you like to tell us how we invoked ghosts?
Shortly in the night, they took a candy, put it on the mirror, lighted a candle, painted some circles... shortly, some. Well, according to the plan, after the candle was suffocated, if the ghost came, he had to bite the candle, after which the candle was lit again to see the results.
Again, the summer, the village, friends, including 2 girls and 3 boys (including me). The abandoned house. They dismantled everything, lighted a candle, read spells, swallowed the candle. While it was dark, I took and bit the candy and put it back. As soon as the friend knocked on the lighthouse, they all crashed sharply and broke to the exit. As they ran away, it seemed to me that something was popping up there, and it was as if some birds were popping up on the roof. It was a long run, probably five minutes. Then they stopped, everyone’s eyes were angry, everyone’s somewhat flattered. It turned out that they were the first grandmothers who saw the bitten candy. The boys were frightened by the cries and broke up. I was scared of all that crap myself. I didn’t tell anyone about this candy. ?

X: Have you ever heard it? I said to him today, "Straight, take stereotypes," he was so seriously: "No-no, I like Hegel's synthesis somehow more, even if it is mediated by the unity and the struggle of the opposites, than the meaningless and merciless annihilation by the medicines of the interaction of proton and positron, permeated by the failure of existentialism.

Friend, the question is: how did you remember it all?

LOL: Mother pulled you out
Bogus: The Shirt
The girl says that too.
When the screen is wiped

I know how to stop eating after 6! You turn out a lamp in the kitchen, and in the dark you do not go to the kitchen.
You didn’t consider the power of light in the refrigerator.