bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126893
 15.04.2016
Once a long time a friend had a DR, and we decided to give him a small foldable pool for the country (2*2*1 meter). I gave it. Then on the DR stumbled and decided to try this fancy immediately, right in the apartment, on the 8th floor.
We gathered, poured water, splashed in it all night, but then we got to know that now it needs to be melted somehow.
The whole crowd then exhausted for two hours, evaporated, and when there was about 15 cm on the water, some wise man noticed a traffic jamming at the bottom and pulled it out.
And the swimming pool was no longer inside, but outside... and all the neighbors below.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №126892
 15.04.2016
In the game Cities: Skylines one of the players destroyed the entire city with the help of a tsunami from feces.
For the beginning, he carefully developed his city, built roads, houses, skyscrapers.
The population reached two hundred thousand people. At the same time, all the city spills the player combined in one giant tank. And one day he “accidentally” made a hole in it...

Fetality!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126891
 15.04.2016
111: So I bought cheese and the plastic number 4 is imprinted in the cheese. What do they mean? What is the maximum amount in cheese? Why just cheese? Why is there no number in molded cheese? Is it in the sausage?
222: Is it a Japanese hieroglyph "death"? They are very similar to the number 4.
No, the cheese is Russian, not Japanese
333 It is death.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126890
 15.04.2016
Tagged with #20094
Lady, maybe you are not taken to work not because the terrible conspiracy of the Russians, but because you were?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126889
 15.04.2016
very educational

111: So I bought cheese and the plastic number 4 is imprinted in the cheese. What do they mean? What is the maximum amount in cheese? Why just cheese? Why is there no number in molded cheese? Is it in the sausage?
222: Is it a Japanese hieroglyph "death"? They are very similar to the number 4.
No, the cheese is Russian, not Japanese
333 It is death.

During the Soviet era, plastic figures of black or blue were often found in cheese.
These numbers, excavated from the crust, children were pleased to collect,
But few knew what they needed.
And here is another mystery of childhood solved - these numbers only indicated the date of development from which the maturation period was counted.
Since such a practice was only in the USSR and preserved somewhere in Russia and on the territory of the former Union, and cheese with mold - exclusively from Western Europe, then on cheese with mold there are no figures.
The maximum number is naturally 9, although you can’t distinguish it from 6.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126888
 15.04.2016
The woman sits and whispers something under her nose.
I: What are you singing? Rihanna is it?
Wife (indignant): The Egg of the Egg? Pope to Pope? I have a metal on the alarm! Yes, I still remember Meyden in the colourful loins! Yes, I still have a whole box of iron stored as a memory!
I: Okay, okay, I understood all the depths of your cruelty, and you sing what?
Wife: Yes, this is the soundtrack to May Little Pony, Girls from Equestria.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126887
 15.04.2016
Pressure in one bar.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126886
 15.04.2016
I go into the make-up at the feast, two Iroquois persons sit and say to each other: “No, you are a bourgeois, of course, beer for 60 thousand to drink, I am out for 35 thousand breakfasts.” It’s just like the way the punks shuffle. It turned out to be easier: PunKrot from Belarus came, they transferred their expenses to Belarusian rubles

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126885
 15.04.2016
Redvivid: A colleague ordered food and toys for dogs from an online zoo store. They brought. A carrot-shaped toy turned out to be 20cm long and peachy colored) roasted for two hours, we are going to give it to the head of the logistics department)) two adult bad grandmothers. Oh spring...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126884
 15.04.2016
Especially for men crawling to the left.
Not so terrible a wife who learned about a mistress, how terrible a mistress who after a year of close relationships suddenly learned that all this time was treated with a married man!
I spit the fire and carry everything on my way.
Try only to come back to me again, "Love". I buried alive, then I wiped, I wiped, and I buried again!
A warm greeting.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №126883
 15.04.2016
How angry is this advertisement about the increase of the member! "He will grow in five days to such sizes"...
Who will "he" grow up?? to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126882
 15.04.2016
Dickson: Can near-light lights be broken?
Muzzy! The Big Muzzy!People through one married! And you are "lights"...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126881
 15.04.2016
In Belarus, the denomination will be 1:10 000.
WOW: That is normal. And the fact that they changed the retirement age at the rate of 1:0.95, this is a shit!

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126880
 15.04.2016
I go out so dark into the hallway and ask the space, “Is there anything good in this world?” Dad: "Sardines in the refrigerator"

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126879
 15.04.2016
and Youtube. In Turkey, a pregnant cat came to a medical institution and asked people for help. staff of honey. The center called a veterinarian. The cat was given a cesarean section, resulting in the birth of four cats. All of them will be under the care of veterinarians until they grow up and find a home.

It’s better to be a cat in Turkey.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №126878
 15.04.2016
HHH: How do you use this opera before the flood, and even without an Adblock? Put Chrome and don’t bother.

Wow: I have a built-in advertising block in my brain. Very convenient, cuts out banners even in reality. I don't see the advertisement at all, I don't even know what it was.

No, you are not a terminator. :)

I am not dying. By the way, this super-power and disadvantages also have. I recently tried to withdraw money from the bank. He acted as usual, but instead of money at the end he wrote "cancellation" of the transaction, regardless of the type of card. I looked at it centimeter by centimeter, read everything that was on the screen and on the information boards, turned around and broke to the exit... But the red A4 plate, glued with a scotch right above the screen: “The ATM is temporarily not working,” I only saw when I was asked why I had broken the machine for so long. And all because the A4 red sheets are advertising by default.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №126877
 15.04.2016
- How to hint more gently to Vaska that Maska has the nickname "Polyglotka" by no means for knowledge of languages?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126876
 15.04.2016
Read the epos "Kalevala"

Mmm: "So nowhere do children cry,
Women will not stand,
There are heroes crying.
The men"

This is on every page.

Kkk: translation of G. Oster, I suppose?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126875
 15.04.2016
About childhood fears.
"Not so terrible the devil as it is painted". I read and in the word "paint" I emphasized the second "paint". It was very scary what kind of shit they were, what was worse than themselves.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №126874
 15.04.2016
Your confession does not matter to God, and He knows everything about you.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna