bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114867
 15.06.2015
X: How did you spend the weekend?
Yyy: Fuck, and we spent the weekend like this: "And we went to this?! Did we go to them? We went there and we went here."
YYYY: S@ka, I didn’t go out because of the driving!
I just wanted to sit down and play a witch!
YYY: But no, it is, bl@j, boring!
Yyy: but to ride from one countryside village to another – that’s for@bys!
YYY: by "friends" who don’t even remember when our birthday is.
YYY: Yes, I would have turned them all around, but no, I’m silent. I am a trick.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114866
 15.06.2015
I’m just smashed now. I sit down and fall into depression. And all because of the dirty roll of toilet paper, can you imagine? The paper is wrapped on such a cardboard cylinder, and it is written: "Just wash me into the toilet"

Just listen to her. The whole Chekhov with the problem of a small man, the whole Dostoevsky – just puppies next to this phrase. In one line, in five words, a recognition of one’s own insignificance, humility, submission to fate, an apology to the higher being, a humble request to stop the meaningless suffering existence. He knows that he will now disappear, disintegrate into pieces among the impurities. And he takes this part with humility, worthy of admiration. It’s like a terminator at the end of the second film, drowning in melted steel and showing a thumb.

Just wash me in the toilet. This could be called an autobiographical novel that won a literary award. Or a movie that makes the rooms cry. A description of my life or yours.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114865
 15.06.2015
Once from one kindergarten in the depths left almost all the educators, the remaining work on two rates, which somehow was able to raise by 65%. And now they get more media bla bla bla.
_________________________________________________________________________
That is, it is normal that the educator works in two shifts (from 7 to 19, for a minute) or looks at twice the number of children (fillability of one group in the usual, non-corrective garden - 30 people on the list, well, let it actually only go 20), or combines the bet of the educator and babysitter (at the same time beat the toilets and reads a fairy tale to children)?
So that you have such a median as children, parents and educators of this kindergarten.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114864
 15.06.2015
Konstantin Nazarenko: Take away 2 stoves of strawberries. Either I am her or she is me.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114863
 15.06.2015
The elderly, not by age fascinated with astronomy and space fiction, was called in the school by a logopedist. At the request to say a few words with the letter "R" second-class student issued "magnetist" and "andromeda" and "cosmodrom".

For half an hour I listened to the passage that the child was re-informed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114862
 15.06.2015
ZhelAnie: Every time I read such stories, I think that my mother-in-law is a beautiful woman. And its main advantage is that it lives 2000km away.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114861
 15.06.2015
Spore is a children's game in which you can make a reasonable twenty-five members.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114860
 15.06.2015
My nephew entered the period of sexual flower.
“Mom, did you say you wore it yesterday?
P: And I didn’t shut up...
I: Did you come back in the morning?
A: Not in the morning.
I: With the girls?
Yes, not with the girls.
I was a little stressed O_O

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114859
 15.06.2015
I sit in the car and smoke. A mosquito flew, zero reaction on me, sat down on the back of the seat and began to knit him, squeezing his hood at the very least.
He didn’t even squeeze him, the fucker knows what he has in mind.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114858
 15.06.2015
(My mother is a doctor)
M: 10.44 What is your Dim foot size? For any case.
I: 10.46 by Dima 42
13:15 O Lord! I forgot what I was asking and thought he had a fever!

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114857
 15.06.2015
It is 7 winds. And this new chip of Microsoft with an independent update on 10 wheels just got. Remove and squeeze. does not succeed. All the forums have broken. But the way out was genius. Just take and rename the folder and the track will not just know where to update. Microsoft is clearly not ready for our smart ?
Z is. And many are now on their foreheads "CHRY" with the words "EXACTLY BLA!" ))))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114856
 15.06.2015
Then I will share)
My cat’s name is Scaly, but not in honor of Agent Scally. This is a reduction. From Scalopendra. When I brought her home from the street, dirty and hungry (eternally hungry!!!She was hiding wherever she was. But it was worth only to see the bowl, she splashed on the pulp and fast-paced with her legs, bending the frogs toward food))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114855
 15.06.2015
XXX: yyy, sit down now, listen to my advice and never forget it
The best thing you can do for yourself and those you love is never, even so, NEVER buy a full-drive car!
YYY : Why?
For one day you will call from the moon or Mars with the words "I don't know how I got here, but I think I need an evacuator."

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114854
 15.06.2015
to this:
I saw a man with a iron fist. The man poured coffee on himself in the pub (the cover was tightly wrapped on the cup), said "ups" (UPS, Carl), laughed, began to wipe out coffee from the clothes, table and bag and sent the child to the box to ask for more towels. Yes, the man was with a preschool child.
Is this Zen so perceived from the appearance of a child in which it is not possible to mother? Maybe try too?

I was raised in a decent family.
Rubicon fell asleep when mat became the norm, if anything.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114853
 15.06.2015
"And why do the Austrians have a pair or three of players shirts so stretching?"
I say: "Surely this form they have"
She: "Then, after all, the other shirts are spaciously sitting, and these have arranged erotic here!"
I looked, and it is true. Men and women see football differently.
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And imagine how differently we look at art gymnastics, figure skating and synchronous swimming!

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114852
 15.06.2015
Are you familiar with the service "tracking mail" by email ID on the Internet?
_________________________________________________________________________

Of the 10 packages, more than half were still allegedly going, although they were received three or four days ago. Here is your entire service.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114851
 15.06.2015
My wife recently gave birth and it was all surrounded.
The eldest son comes in and says, “Dad, take your hands off my brother’s lunch!” Do you enjoy when your food is touched by other people’s hands?? to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114850
 15.06.2015
The Smart:

In fact, in the late Middle Ages, it was not for religious reasons that sudden morality occurred (religion played a significant role before) - and because of the spread of syphilis.

Syphilis arrived in Europe from South America. What is Late Middle Ages? Learn the game before teaching others!
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Later Middle Ages - the period of European history in the XIV-XVI centuries.
Columbus first sailed to the Americas from August 2, 1492 to March 15, 1493.
What is the contradiction?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114849
 15.06.2015
(See the horror on the net)
P: Forever GH climbs unclear where and not clear why
D: I’m alone here in the hut.
D: But I have a drill.
D: If it’s lonely and scary, I’ll start drilling walls.
P: That’s why they do this.
P: They’re just lonely people who are scared.
(They are

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114848
 15.06.2015
In Russia, for centuries, the genealogy was conducted on the male line. If a man dies without leaving an heir, the ROD is interrupted.
This is why Nekrasov wrote: "The family is one big one, and two people, all."
Anyone who doesn’t like it can go to Israel.
____________________________
Not only in Russia, but all over the world. Well, they did not consider a woman a man (which, in general, is strange - the mother is almost always 100% known, but the father is not).
Per, only the rise of the Roman Empire on the rights of women can be compared to the modern world - women inherited equally with men, had independence, and the legal status of the child was determined by the status of his mother.
Also, rape (Roman citizens, of course) was a serious crime in which there was no fault of the victim. But in the following centuries, Christianity has somehow become accustomed to the position of "the guilty himself."

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