bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20399
 15.09.2009
XXX: there will be a rock festival bikers. It is called Golden Rain. I thought it was better not to look for info about it.

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20398
 15.09.2009
How many movies on the screw, I want to see what is not :)

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №20397
 15.09.2009
From the vacancies website:
A young, dynamic company requires a broad-profile system administrator with powerful intelligence, many hands and a panther reaction.

They would definitely fit one of the Indian gods.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №20396
 15.09.2009
The Trade Center. 3 signs in a row : scooters, motorcycles, monuments=))

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №20395
 15.09.2009
You know, they say in Italy for murder only a month give O_o
In China, they are also paid.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №20394
 15.09.2009
xxxx: And you know that in the very center of the Kremlin, in the most secret safe is stored the most secret file? And in this folder it is written that Russia is the greatest and most powerful country in the world, that the Russian people do not sleep, but develop science and arts, that they have the highest standard of living, high salaries and pensions, the best education and medical care, that Russia has the most polite and disciplined drivers and pedestrians, the best roads, that there is no corruption in Russia at all! On especially long and cold winter evenings, Putin gets this folder... he reads... he reads something out loud to Medvedev... sometimes both cry...

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №20393
 15.09.2009
In the advertisement of Dove chocolate, you are waiting for what they will say: unlike other chocolates, our chocolate consists of a quarter of moisturizing cream.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №20392
 15.09.2009
I am a pilot. On my birthday, and I am on the other end of the country, given the time difference, I rush to have time to congratulate her. I call. She takes the phone and shouts joyfully:
Are you not in heaven?? to
The Yellow!! "In the heavens" and "In the heavens" are different expressions.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №20391
 15.09.2009
The metrologist will tell you that after a kilogram comes a ton.
But the true Aitishneek knows that after a kilogram goes a meter, then - a hectare, and only after a hectare - a tonne.

[ + 69 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20390
 15.09.2009
Cocktail.Jazz-fest.Gathered in the evening for a concert.They took food, drinks and watermelon with them.But on the way it was torn down.As a result of which a small crack was formed on it.Later we met the Kievans (we ourselves from Donetsk), who offered us to drink a chacha with them:
Q: Do you have breakfast?
I: There is an arbus
Is there a knife?
Why a knife?
With these words, I grabbed the watermelon and broke it into two parts.For twenty seconds they were silent and looked at the watermelon, then at me.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №20389
 15.09.2009
From the website of the tattoo salon: "We guarantee that the tattoo will remain on your body for the rest of your life and for at least two weeks after your death..."

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №20388
 15.09.2009
He wanted tea, opened the refrigerator, saw milk, wanted coffee, I sat down and drank quas.
I mean, am I not logical?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №20387
 15.09.2009
In order for the girl to not cool to you, it is better to fry her.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №20386
 15.09.2009
A man teaches a girl:
- Yes, now you take the flash and insert it into the camera until a click...
I said to the point, not to the point!!! to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №20385
 15.09.2009
Not so long ago I heard from the zombie painter that Peter’s students spent an annual stock of No. 2 products in 3 months. To the question: "What is it?" they calmly answered: "Fuck..."
You will not argue...

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №20384
 15.09.2009
[Huragh]: Oh shit, it is enough to dime
To be fooled!
We will bring you a guild.
To be fooled!
Are you a bot?
To be fooled!
[GM#03]: Hello to you.
To be fooled!
Say hello to you.
[GM#03]: You have received a complaint.
To be fooled!
What kind of?
[GM#03]: You are suspected of using bot programs.
To be fooled!
It is sad.
[GM#03]: Please turn off the automatic response.
To be fooled!
I don’t know how >_<

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №20383
 15.09.2009
He: How to combine my piston with your cylinder?
She: I can not.
He is :????? to
She: I am on the plan.
He is :????? to
She: Yes, I have monthly... monthly!

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №20382
 15.09.2009
TunGer: For two and a half months now, my girlfriend and I have sex every day! I wonder how much more we will have?
>> ~FERZH~: A month does not bother?
>> TunGer: and she didn’t have them yet)
>> TunGer: I’m going to be happy!!!!! to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №20381
 15.09.2009
I work in resuscitation. We have a baby stool hanging on the wall, underneath it the inscription in large letters: "Emergency call of the surgeon!")))))

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №20380
 15.09.2009
Kruger: I want to command the talks!! to
Kruger is fucking! The Nations!!! to

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