My favorite is a sweet cat. There is a rabbit in the farm.

At the zoo shop, I am standing at the rabbit feed, I am taking pictures on my cell phone. The Seller:
What will you do?! to
Without a back-thinking, without breaking away from the process:
I send the cat’s rabbit food to Votsap for arrangement.
The seller was demoralized for a long time.

X: Skype is threatening me
Y: In what way?
X: I want to install it, but he writes not long left

correctly so:
"No rule without exceptions" is the only rule without exceptions. It is also an exception to the same rule.

and Alexander:
I became an uncle!! to
and Alexei:
and was?

Time is flying. Are there any former fiddles here?

You’ve been snoring all night again.
I didn’t sneeze, I was sneezing ;)

Why are mothers always trying to feed their children to death?

"Well, look, she took you on her arms at the nursery: three-five hundred kge, half a meter tall - and since then she has learned firmly that the child should grow well. On the doorstep with a pencil of centimeters marked, watched to eat well, gain weight... In twenty years everything was normal, and here heraks - the child suddenly stopped growing, aaa, panic! The subconscious gives a signal: feed urgently! Feeding even more! Logic, the child must grow up!

Admins received a whisper.
The general calls and says:
Why does the computer help the secretary to repair the expeditor? What are you doing there at all?
Admines in a... shock, call the secretary, ask what’s going on.
I didn’t have my computer on since morning. Danny and I tried to turn it on.
Why didn’t you call us???? to
So you tell me to overload the computer! How can I overload it if it doesn’t turn on me!!! to
–...

The curtain.

K: And why did Tolkien not write a book about trolls? Wouldn’t it be fun to see how the Hollywoods make a brutal green-skinned pair of fabulous mimics? Gnomes is simple.
H: Well, it’s simple, because with Snow White in the head, that gnome is a cute, hard-working shortcut, a rookie in a hood, an ornament of a lawn. And not a armored greedy mountain devil with an explosive character and a steel kiwi.

A cabinet in the office, three computers, one network printer that doesn’t work. Two techniques for each other:
- You need to repair the oven and out there (pointing to the remote computer) to put wood!
Sitting next to a woman kilogram under a hundred:
You killed the cockroaches! Should I repair the printer or not?

***: fame very wanted in the movie on somewhere there ronin
***: here "47" is harder to remember than "roninov")))

News from a well-known website:

Deputy Elbrus Tadeev proposes to prohibit naming children in honor of geographical objects.

Don’t like the country – think about what specifically you can do to make it better? ...

----If someone wants "... what specifically can you do to make it better?" he can simply shake up for the completion of the existing order.

- Well, specifically, I repaired the sandbox, developing a children's circle, I lead and teach my daughter to think critically, not to hide people and throw garbage into the urn.
Have they gone after me?

How pleasant to see Elrond happy, even if it's just Hugo Wyving fooling in front of the camera between the dubs!

to this:

If a girl sleeps the night before the exam with three guys, she will get three. If four, then four. If it’s five, it’s a great rating. At first I didn’t believe it, and then I decided. It turned out to work. Three sessions for five..."
YYY: This is probably such an act of ritual sacrifice to the gods of blasphemy and corruption, and that is why it works.

and ah. You just need to sleep with lectures, right?

Working correspondence of press distributors:
Theme: "All Turtles, and Ashan..."
XHH: position "Start set "Ninja Chubby"
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ?
zzz: straight so and I imagine - four Cheburaches and teacher - Crocodile)

XHH: I received an order from one management company to recover debts for ZKU. The only thing to do is the sea. In one apartment he saw three inhabitants: Choki Chan, Choki Chan, and Attention, Jackie Chan. A couple of dozen more apartments: Vladlen Norris, Angelina Norris...

I: Did I not tell you how I tried to feed my child with 2 sausages instead of 1?
The bone: No
I cut him like usual in pieces. He sat down and said, I asked for one.
I say, it’s one, it was just big.
And he says, why are there four asses? ?
The deceit is not deceived
I: Now I’ll know that I need to think carefully.
The child is ready for adult life.
In life it is usually the opposite.
You need two sauces, and they give one.
Cut in half, and try to convince that it is not half, but two full-fledged sausages)

I bought for the holidays a small decorative tree in a pot - 40 centimeters.
I wanted to keep her dressed until next year.
And she moves in the growth of fresh shoots - already 10 cm. was out.
So in a year, she will break all of our giraffes and fall into the ceiling!

If you come home boozy, and you can't go to bed because of helicopters, you need to close your eyes, bow your head in the pillow and try to fall asleep right away.
Yyy: and if you miss by the pillow and bend your head down from the bed, the effect will be even brighter and significant.