bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №73063
 16.11.2012
A candidate for the position of engineer.
He is asked.
XXX: What is the electricity in the rocket? Permanent or variable?? to
YYY is permanent.
XXX is??? Why such conclusions?? to
YYY: Well how he’s there all the time.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №73062
 16.11.2012
As I love Soviet films, there is a maximum of one car in the courtyard.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №73061
 16.11.2012
XXX: Here is a good story about the great.

xxx: I had one root at Harley-Davidson. I went to work on a big for a hundred (I fucking know that there can be a waste) and parked it in the corner of the showroom.

xxx: And a certain client, who walked around the showroom, once cried out: you have a fucking motorcycle, but the big one is a fucking one.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №73060
 16.11.2012
Fuck, I’m very sad about what’s going on with Apple.
Without Jobs, they are no longer part of IT history.
YYY: the opposite
YYY: It was it that became it :)))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73059
 16.11.2012
Cowwka Ready to Be a Candle in Your Night
Cowwka: Missing and what would that mean?
Matrsoff: Failing to correctly speak the suppository...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №73058
 16.11.2012
case at work.
Aaa: I left a tube with fluid nails here yesterday, where is it?
BBB: Take it on the second shelf.
Thanks, but where did you put the liquid hammer?

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73057
 16.11.2012
16.11.2012 09:58 Docent: The head of Roskomnadzor denied the existence of censorship on the Internet and said that any website claiming the opposite will be immediately closed.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73056
 16.11.2012
Wife: What should we see? "7 Years in Tibet" is a heavy movie?
I: Well, 40 minutes will run.

[ + 30 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73055
 16.11.2012
Of all the mourning crowd of dark-haters, I am the happiest! There were not enough tickets! = r

The angel Leo

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73054
 16.11.2012
"that if you turn on Rammstein, the technique from the German branch runs better and shoots more accurately."
............

Yes, I also noticed. that the Soviet branch under the melody of the "beware of the car" is almost invincible!! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №73053
 16.11.2012
My street was excavated by black archaeologists. They seem to be looking for traces of lost ancient sewerage.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73052
 16.11.2012
xxx: I have one feeling that women specifically smell their hands with a cream so that they don’t do something, and then they go and give them? )))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №73051
 16.11.2012
Roscosmos has denied reports in the press about the loss of communication with the International Space Station. "Of course, it is unpleasant that Roskomnadzor entered the IP address of the ISS in the Unified Register of Prohibited Sites, but we managed to connect to it through U.S. proxy servers," he said.

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73050
 16.11.2012
One of my acquaintances at the university decided to get stuck, gave a course to students-economists - to make an investment project for the construction of SCHGES, BAM, nuclear icebreaking fleet, Norilsk metcombinate, Kamsky automotive plant, as if they were not, but need to be built in today's conditions. He later studied about 20 works of his students. None of them even thought that such large-scale projects could be carried out at the expense of domestic reserves (and it was under the conditions of a oil shell, when a barrel for a hundred!) and the repayment times of projects in general turned out to be somewhat fantastic. For example, one of the future steering economies of new Russia (by the way, graduated from the university with a red diploma) came to the conclusion that if the SŠGES is built today, the repayability of the project will be achieved in 60 years. Even if we assume that he was twice wrong, and the costs will only pay back in 30 years, it is still obvious that such a project today is not realisable in principle. No one will invest money in a business with such a repayment period, if you can give a bribe, who should, turbid the land near the bustling road, build a hypermarket there and repel the bullshit in 2-3 years.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73049
 16.11.2012
The CHC:
The best way to learn English that never gets bored is to watch pro-casting with English subtitles.
:D

The NNN:
That’s why you’re in an advanced English group.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73048
 16.11.2012
Can you talk to someone for a long time? Fill your mouth with food and try again – it works 100%

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №73047
 16.11.2012
XXX: It is happening. In the summer we sat in an open cafe, next to a couple. The girl has a cute cat. She takes a piece of something there from the plate, and drives over the cat’s cheek. He rises up, stretches his foreheads, and the girl rises up.)) A guy with a hint in his voice:" Here you also irritate me, you irritate me". And the girl:"I’m annoying you? Yes, I almost put food under your nose, and you all look into other people's dishes, and you don't even look at your own. Look, some other cat will come, and your piece will take it")))) Judging by how quickly they calculated after that and left, the guy finally got there)))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №73046
 16.11.2012
Vladka (00:25:28): Okay, the android was invented in 1986 in Ukraine, in the town of Pripyat... there it was first started to charge, but the local power plant did not withstand.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №73045
 16.11.2012
A drunk is considered to be sick (alcoholic intoxication) and not unconsumable.
Wedding is an epidemic.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73044
 16.11.2012
As a child, I never understood my parents. In the evening - "Yes, go wash, then you will fall asleep faster", in the morning - "Wake up? Well go wash yourself, so that the dream can go away"Damn, I am almost thirty years old, and I still suffer from the question - how is this possible?! to

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