bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №155317
 16.11.2020
My friend’s husband brought from fishing still live caras and put them in the refrigerator. And they were there fighting so hard that the thunderstorm on the whole kitchen stood. The girlfriend could not withstand, released them into the basin with water and began to wait for their natural death. And one carousel did not want to die. Then the friend’s husband told Karasu that if he survived that night, he would survive. And early in the morning he carried him a few kilometers back to the river. On the shore, on the question of another fisherman, this hero replied, "I promised him!"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №155316
 16.11.2020
Families gathered for the second child, told how they went to the nursery for the first time.

They live alone, young lovers. The caring husband very carefully gathered his wife to the hospital. All provided, and warm things, and hygiene, and about stock something collected, and to eat a young mother, things got a lot. The fighting began, the ambulance arrived, the husband pulls everything into the car, bags, bags, loaded under the bandage.

The doctor standing next to the car looks closely at it and says:

Will you take her back?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №155315
 16.11.2020
Strawberries are a very strong drug. If you strangely bind with the mess, then the muscles begin to hurt heavily.

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №155314
 16.11.2020
Following hot tracks

Last Saturday, singer Valery Meladze, disagreeing with the new restrictive rules for artists (introduced due to the coronavirus) proposed to his colleagues - to boycott the shooting of the New Year's show.

“Imagine if you turn on the TV on New Year’s Eve, and there is no New Year’s light, no music, no entertainment program. If our work is prohibited by restrictive measures, we are prohibited from taking part in New Year’s shootings. I think it would be correct to adhere to these rules and to all artists to give up shooting in New Year’s programs,” Meladze said.

However, he pointed out in an interview with journalists, it was a hypothetical proposal.

"It is clear that there will be New Year's programs: it is impossible to deprive the audience of some joy," the singer summed up.

So maybe just the opposite, the absence of such programs will give at least some joy to the audience on the New Year’s Eve.)))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №155313
 16.11.2020
How did you manage to lose so much weight?
I switched to proper nutrition, sports twice a day, massage with anti-cellulite cream, walks in the fresh air...
What kind of cream?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №155312
 16.11.2020
It was during my student time. Standard morning trip by bus. When paying for the trip, I understand that there is only a large note (rubies 500 where that, for the student, the amount is significant) I show the conductor, he suggested that he will take it, and as the delivery will be suitable. I already did so, I saw no problem in this and agreed, especially my route was from one end of the city to the other, will have time to collect.

My main task is not to forget. He sat down on a free seat, got his headphones, and... turned off for 20-30 minutes exactly (the trip was long).

When I woke up with fresh thoughts, I had forgotten what I was supposed to give.

Here and my stop is seen, as in nothing I get out of the bus, and I see the picture as the conductor looks at me in the trail, and here to me comes that my money was crying)) the state number did not even remember.

I understand that it makes no sense to run behind the bus, left for his affairs, and thought that today a happy day with the conductor may be (the city millionaire, the chances are zero on the same bus route to get)

Then, over the course of the day, he was still traveling by bus, on other routes, but was already on check.

And by evening it happened that I had to sit on the same route, but in a completely different place. Not paying attention to Mr. The number, the color of the bus, I sit in it, and I see the same conductor! And he remembered me, did not turn on the fool, but approached and gave the delivery, taking into account the real trip, I thanked him for his honesty)

As long as I was driving, the smile from my face did not pass the whole journey.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №155311
 16.11.2020
Xxx: I really don’t understand what the hunt is.

A friend says, “I recently bought a new gun for 200 thousand, I’ll go to Teterev.”

I think it’s somewhat too fat for Teterev.

If you have a gun for 200 knives, you have to go, at least, to Baskov.

If you have 200 thousand, why kill the teterev?

You can hire a killer who will kill the teterev.

And he will not just kill the teterev, but will do everything as if it was suicide.

And the tetereva will then be found in a cheap hotel room, around a package of tablets and a note with the text: "Barbara, I have done all this, there is no longer the strength to pay the loan for our double."

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