bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №151444
 16.12.2018
I sit at home, suddenly the electricity is gone and turns on again. At the door and talking. I open, I see a woman standing, with such a business look, and a man of 50.

Hi, who are you and where are you from?

The woman, the chairman said.

Why are you in the shield, you are an electrician?

I am an electrician.

Yes is? Great I say. How many phases in the HRT, for example?

Silence in response.

The man says three!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №151443
 16.12.2018
I worked in a security firm for a while. I come to work in the morning, and a newly changed manager tells me:



There was an alarm button in a store. Well, I sent the GBR, and I call there myself, suddenly a false call. The cable is not taken. And to me in a few minutes, the guards call back: "Put the challenge as false, and yes, we will write a complaint on our firm." I ask, “Why?” A lady with a dog was walking along the shop. And the dog at some point began to target the corner of the store. The administrator pressed the alarm button and after our arrival convinced us that we should take action. She was culturally sent, offended.”

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №151442
 16.12.2018
In the village where I spent my childhood, there was an interesting economic situation. In the center worked a spiral factory. Well, the burdu (residues from the distillation of alcohol) was delivered to the peasants. They fed pigs.

In short, everyone was pleased.

Especially the pigs.

Example as in the world today. The ergonomics are the same - you pour the pigs burdock, and they are satisfied. Buzawa, World Cup 2018, Major 3.

The pigs were usually slaughtered during the holidays.

The previous archaeological layer was used to store the burda. More precisely, the stone basements of previously demolished houses.

At one point in my childhood I fell down. When I played.

Burda was approximately on the belt.

Well, I logically thought they’d be feeding pigs tonight. In the hole will be put a hole. And then I scream:

I am here!

The evening came and no one came. I went, tried to sit - and no fig - in the sitting position of the burd above the nostrils.

And you know why nobody came to the pit to pick up a pig burdock? And not only in the evening. And all night! People were not pigs. They were looking for me!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №151441
 16.12.2018
Are you lucky?

What another! One day after the search, I found drugs that gave me mint.

They did not find!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №151440
 16.12.2018
Belief in a bright future is the belief that we will be taken back from yesterday.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №151439
 16.12.2018
“Once in a Soviet film, Bergman saw a Russian oven where an old lady slept. It made such an impression on him that he built the same in his home on the island of Faroe. Bergman lay on it with a glass of red wine, stared at the sea and meditated.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №151438
 16.12.2018
Did you have any hidden fantasies?
I would like to glue your mouth with Scotch.
M, continue to...
That is all.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №151437
 16.12.2018
It was five years ago. The place of action is a deep provincial city, with a population of 15k people.

A former classmate turned into porn. Photographed by Peter's team. According to the plot, they meet her on the street, continue to get acquainted in the cafe and almost immediately offer sex for money. She agrees and the two guys have her pretty good.

We watched this video (not all, by the way) three. I and two Koreans. One of them is her ex-boyfriend.

After watching, the ex-boyfriend, who was silent before, said, looking sadly at the floor:

I didn’t give it to my ass...

The second, pulling beer:

Well, at least one of our people got out.

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