bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109495
 16.02.2015
I do not understand another thing: the most fiercely protesting against the idea of "paid entry to the center of Moscow" live in London for some reason.
But in London, the entrance to the center was always paid and very, very expensive.
It’s just a paradox of something...

[ + 46 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109494
 16.02.2015
I personally know only 3 drivers who are stuck behind the wheel. Others honestly think this is uncomfortable nonsense. Three-quarters of drivers I see on the street do not know that on the lighthouse, where pedestrian crossing is allowed, you need to stop before the lighthouse. Eighty percent (including bus and truck drivers) do not know that you can only go to a crossroads, even on a green light, if there is a free seat for your vehicle on the other side of the crossroads. Ninety percent pass pedestrians on a pedestrian crossing only if pedestrians boldly rush forward, under the wheels. And I do not touch the drunkards, the sick, the idiots, the bastards with purchased rights, the rich dads and the blue glitters. I am talking about ordinary drivers.

Are you seriously afraid of Kamaz with smart intelligence?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109493
 16.02.2015
Tagged 16573
"But here is what is written on the website of the manufacturer (the top monopoly in our country, by the way):"

Since when has it become a monopoly? I live in a northern city on the letter C, famous for its metacombinate on the letter C, and suddenly a large light bulb factory on the letter F, selling light bulbs to the whole country.

The joke:
- Tell me, and why did you choose Blend-a-Med rather than a cheaper toothpaste?
What, are there such?! to
There is
I am a fool!

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109492
 16.02.2015
I asked the girl what the friend zone is, she replied that this is where I am now :(

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №109491
 16.02.2015
About speaking paparazzi, tell him to speak, do not put a female to him.

I photographed the housewife’s room. She has a parrot. Sometimes I was frightened by the sound of a doorbell (I open the door - no one, then touch). Sometimes it is very realistic. Sometimes he started screaming: "The goat is brainless! and drunk! Go out, fuck up!"

Then the hostess brought him a female. To you think? After a while, these animals began to whisper: "Cow! She is a fool!" She is a fool! Remove the spit!" "Being wicked!" "Blessedness!"

Well, I think the hostess had a turbulent life.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109490
 16.02.2015
A colleague commented on the news about Hope Savchenko and her hunger strike.

If a person went on hunger strike more than two months ago and is still alive, he is probably doing something wrong.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109489
 16.02.2015
Thank you woman for the advice. Now I know how to stick the strawberries.

Marrying and sticking are different things.
I explain this so that it is not painfully painful, or you are all so hard-working and you are rejected.
:D

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №109488
 16.02.2015
This is:
by Hmao. -32. a raspberries, apparently, in memory of a jacket, with mud numbers. The driver’s door window is completely removed. In the door is seen a hand in a nork coat and with a huge ring. So he walked near the traffic jams, not closing the windows.
and blue! We arrived here! On this Japanese paddle in -20 glass lifts climb surprisingly! Mechanically knocked on the drop button, thrown the straw, and back in no one... almost died in the frost.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It’s hard to throw cigarettes out the window. % of

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109487
 16.02.2015
"completely ignoring the opinion of the husband, the woman gives birth" - sheedever too! and :)
Immaculate conception, not otherwise.
If you don’t want children, don’t end up with your aunt. Without any options.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109486
 16.02.2015
If the film was directed by Valery Sutkin...

"50 shades of stylish orange tie"

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109485
 16.02.2015
This creature :
and blue! We arrived here! On this Japanese paddle in -20 glass lifts climb surprisingly! Mechanically knocked on the drop button, thrown the straw, and back in no one... almost died in the frost.

You’d better die. There is a cinderella in the car. Because of people like you, we don’t have roads but garbage.

[ + 29 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109484
 16.02.2015
Claims to the French of such a plan that Paris was surrendered without a single shot.
— — —
The French will reject your claims with indignation: they prepared well for the war on the Machino line, and in Paris they did not intend to fight at all. But the Germans acted with them "dirty and dishonestly": they did not appear on the "line", they broke immediately to Paris. Not according to the rules of the First World War.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №109483
 16.02.2015
Fuck, I thought it only happens in internet stories!

My husband and I went to the train station for train tickets (you can also buy on the internet, of course, but we went to the train station nearby, decided to walk). Stand in line. Here someone called my husband, he went out to talk, and I stayed in line.

A man of indefinite ages appears, turns the turn of his gaze and decides that I (little, fragile and at the same time significantly younger than most uncles and aunts in turn) - a weak link. He enters the line in front of me, in an attempt to get upset, he begins to bull, that he, say, such as me, for breakfast eats, shakes like a stroke - I will fly away and in general. Everyone is on the line and pretends that nothing is happening. The husband (the big unbarred uncle), hearing that I am offended, comes back and doesn’t even have time to say anything, just looks expressively. Uncle with the words "Oh, sorry!" retires while trying to portray the knicksen. Immediately, as if by the maneuvering of the stick, the row comes to life and begins to condemn the uncle with the choir (which burzhi, you go, to the fragile girl, a fool!) is

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109482
 16.02.2015
Promise an antique atmosphere.
and?
Sparta is whispering and pinning me out of bed!!!! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109481
 16.02.2015
The practice of biologists could be called "The Mouse Out"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109480
 16.02.2015
When you call on people to humanity, you simply invite them to the table.

c) Tuhani

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109479
 16.02.2015
Spring is near, I tell you.

I go from home to the subway, I do no harm to anyone, suddenly an uncle of the most ordinary kind approaches me (in the sense, neither a drunken nor a drunken is like) and asks:

Are you not a doctor by chance?

A little overwhelmed by such an unexpected question at half eight in the morning (moreover, I am not a doctor by chance, but quite intentionally), I answer:

and no.

The uncle declares: “Well, you would go!” and joyfully departs, leaving us alone with cognitive dissonance...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №109478
 16.02.2015
Hello, my name is Elena, do you have 2 minutes to answer a few questions?
Let us admit. Ask me.
What is your name?
Abdymelbek Mavdalbeibiebev
- So here is Abnabdablek...shut up until goodbye.

Lena, I hope I didn’t tell you the working day code? With respect, Dmitry

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109477
 16.02.2015
Zeka-vasch - Three MPs with smoothing boards entered the bus. The rest is boring.
can eugenepiskunov surfers?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109476
 16.02.2015
Do you carry the armored door or pull it?
==== is
I will get it and write down: wearing or dragging is not my job.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna