bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №110782
 16.03.2015
New low-cost airline on popular flights "Bidlet":
You can fly in planes.
They give seeds.
As food and pineapple
Pilots smoking in the cabin.
- the cabin is spread "transfer to the pilot for the trip";

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №110781
 16.03.2015
xxx: I have reached such a level of programming that I can’t test the code I write. I just know that it will work exactly as it should.
YYY: You are on a slippery road, my friend.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110780
 16.03.2015
A girlfriend after a failed marriage met a guy. They were all shaken. He suggested signing up. She is with her mother:
Q: Mom, and Sergey called me for marriage.
M: I am glad you are not happy?! to
Q: I don’t know, I’m growing up with him.
M: You will stop wearing cables.
P: It is exactly! I will give him!

I’ve been married for 7 years.)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110779
 16.03.2015
Russia must comply with the Minsk agreements.
Will we withdraw our troops from Donbass?
In order to withdraw troops from Donbass, we need to first introduce troops to Donbass, but we do not have permission.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110778
 16.03.2015
XXX: I was told by the doctor that I should ask my partner to be examined. hahah Prikin, you get to know a guy, everything is fine with you...and then so: "for admission to bed, present a certificate."
Yyy: Just like with the swimming pool : - but I have a hat!!! Not fucking a certificate.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110777
 16.03.2015
The xxx:
I contextual advertising offers for cheap houses in Moscow from 5 hotels and hotels... buy hotels...
The xxx:
How do they notice that I am a poor man and need to offer me cardboard boxes from the refrigerators?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110776
 16.03.2015
Hats, not heels... There is a time\opportunity\happiness - the whole hustle was shattered, the shoe shirt haircut. And I went without hurry, from the hip, admire yourself - a girlfriend, a beautiful woman, all such a woman is romantic. There is no time - jeans, ceds, thickness, hair in the tail and a halo for the subway storm. Here are the girls who have the dress code at work – those are unfortunate, yes. Clothing is an image, a mask, dictates a certain style of behavior. In the shoes you are a fairy and live on the rainbow, and in the cedar and in the naker you can send.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №110775
 16.03.2015
I am not that woman, but:
32 years, I don’t wear heels for 7 years, from the word at all. On the face is ordinary, breasts are not outstanding, the ass does not shake with a stick, the height is below the average, I dress not provocatively, makeup does not do at all. However, men have never stopped playing and trying to get acquainted, and their husband even after six years together still wants and pulls in bed at every convenient occasion.

— — —
You do everything right, continue in the same spirit. Men (in my face) are tired of plastic Barbie, we want to see women, not their attempts to stand out against each other’s background.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110774
 16.03.2015
Question: After what time after the laser correction of myopia is allowed to have sex?

Answer: When associated with physical activity, it is desirable to limit sexual intercourse in the first 2 weeks after the operation. If your role is passive, there are no restrictions.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №110773
 16.03.2015
Quote it in full :)

You can make tea seven times. On the eighth cup of tea, they pop up to look at this slope.

On the fifteenth, they drown back. First, we have seen it, and secondly, we can see it from the bottom.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110772
 16.03.2015
XHHH: The cross came, gets vodka, and I have not been drinking it since 16. I quit smoking and I quit yesterday. He says I am a ugly cat in the family and a complete disappointment.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110771
 16.03.2015
We found the dog over the weekend. I immediately put it in a meat bowl.
0 to O?? to
Well, in the sense, he is now living under the protection of the market.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №110770
 16.03.2015
The first officers are accountants.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110769
 16.03.2015
Dialogue at work...
Here’s how much you smoke and how much money you could save in your life.
Man under 50
Well, a day pack, a year 365 packets on average the price of 200 tenge, a total of 30 years... 2,200,000
It starts with everyone who can.
You could take the car and other joys of life.
But if you remove vodka from life, then...
But if you remove your wife, you can also smoke and drink and drive in the car)))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110768
 16.03.2015
WOW: I have long noticed that it is simply impossible to dress perfectly / gather, something must emerge.
You will break your nail.
In the shooters.
The breasts are small.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110767
 16.03.2015
(from the chat of one group)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx If there are "commercial persons", throw away
YYY: The type of which?
XXX: The Fashion
XXX is fashionable! Just whisper, he will appear. A fashionable slide.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110766
 16.03.2015

Steve Jobs used a MacBook but did not live to 60
Boris Nemtsov used a MacBook, did not live to 60
MacBook is killing?
...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №110765
 16.03.2015
I don’t understand how it is possible to demand that men respect themselves, and demand that they be insulted and beaten just because we are women. Either we and men equally deserve respect, and must show it and follow our words, or we are weak women, on whom we cannot raise neither the voice nor the hand, but then we remain without the right to vote behind their strong backs, because we are not responsible for our words and deeds, but for what happened.


In the frame. the golden.

[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110764
 16.03.2015
Parked at home. Out of the car. I asked myself "Did I not park like a fool"? was parked.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №110763
 16.03.2015
Then they are just as confused that Betsy is Elizabeth, Lolita is Dolores, Conchita is Concepción, and Misha Barton is a girl!and "
Margaret, by the way, is also Peggy. Stick to.
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I broke the brain. Checo is Sergio and Pepe is Jose.

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