bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №46048
 16.04.2011
From comments to the news on mail.ru about the President’s ban on mobile phones and calculators at the exam...
xxx: Question: And many people know how to use lagoremic linen and how it looks?
YYY: What is an Orphek Ambulance? How will she look? How to use her? Per a vocabulary is better than a logarithmic line?

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №46047
 16.04.2011
Uranium enriched
Reviews of buyers:

I took yesterday. Very high quality. As the saying goes, one head is good, and two is better.

I bought it as a gift to my mom. Now the cakes are not only delicious, but also beautiful - with a pleasant lighting! My mom shone of happiness!

- Here are you shit - I bought it all, now I got stuck in 2011. What should I do with my Delorean? Does anyone have a piece? I need only 700 grams... as I return in 1985 to the bill the agreed amount, interest for 26 years will be my gift.

[ + 49 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46046
 16.04.2011
She: Write me a beautiful word embodying me in Spanish - I choose a nick in the same network
He is shit.
And what about translation?
He: well, like a shit... how would you describe it... can be translated as a small picturesque hill, can be as an indefinite image.. in general symbolizes union with nature and the spirit of nature=)
She says: wow thanks!
He (on his own nose, not in the chat): Well, what am I like a man like that...

[ + 92 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46045
 16.04.2011
And the Supreme Mufti, who proposed to replace the cross on the crown of the eagle of the Russian emblem, must remember that we and Kazan, took and Astrakhan took and the Crimea fought, and therefore half a moon on the Russian emblem can only appear in the cows of the Russian emblem!

Botan in a Cravat

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №46044
 16.04.2011
Today in the News 00:43
Rostov-on-Don

Taganrog gang suspected of murder and theft of candy

They killed the candy :(

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №46043
 16.04.2011
The country, candy is called "Brother from the North came"

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №46042
 16.04.2011
I go home late at night. The wife calls.
I’m going to sleep, don’t you mind?
I am against.
Wife : Why?
I want sex.
Wife: Do you have a sleeping shoe?

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №46041
 16.04.2011
The bird of happiness also cracks.
Probably a lottery ticket.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №46040
 16.04.2011
Boys are three to four times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than girls. Although experts don’t yet have an exact answer to why this happens, some believe that girls with a mild form of autism may be better at hiding its symptoms, and thus autism is considered simply a CHARACTER OF THEIR PSYCHICS.

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №46039
 16.04.2011
No, this is what you need to be to give twins a name...

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №46038
 16.04.2011
What would you do if you found out that your girlfriend is a fan of Zenit? (Same friend of the fierce fan of CSKA)
I would dress her in Zenit’s shape and punish her.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №46037
 16.04.2011
Prep (P) at the lecture got one student, here he says to him:
Q: I will ask you a check question at the exam!
Voice from the back: is the control question like a control shot?
Q: Yes, I will have to shake my brains.

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №46036
 16.04.2011
We take an office in a building where one toilet is on the floor and after lunch, employees usually go to wash dishes in the laundry machine located in that toilet. I go to the toilet with a dirty plate in one hand and a fork in the other. A familiar employee comes out of the toilet, who has just dealt with the need, and asks: "Is there anything behind the supplement?..."
If he didn’t run so fast, I’d hit him with a fork.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №46035
 16.04.2011
I want to fly
She: And I
to embrace someone.
She: And I
He is:
They will fall and talk...
She is WOW. and I
and then fucking hard.
All night
See also: Eeee
He: Fuck, I thought it was

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №46034
 16.04.2011
3 children in the family. The youngest is 5 years old.
She says to her mom, “Mom, I’m tired of being the smallest, give us another girl.
M: Oh, I don’t even know. Such matters are not discussed without the father, you need to talk to him!
What can I do with him? can I give him money?? to


[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №46033
 16.04.2011
I really got a porn movie here. Usually, as it happens: the man is over, the porn is over. And then... the girl has already finished five times, and the guy didn’t end and didn’t end. One waited and heated him, and he didn’t finish! I was so worried about a guy, you know. But it all ended well. He finished anyway. I have not been so pleased with the heroes of the film.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №46032
 16.04.2011
I missed a barbecue gift set here yesterday. Everything would be great, but from the side it looks like an ordinary green school backpack of the late 1990s. And here I go I am so joyful (20 years, not shaved a week) with him on the street, and I notice that somehow badly all smoke on me, and one boy of 5-6 years approached and asks - "Uncle, why did you take the backpack from Petty". I have never seen a more sad expression of a child’s face.

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №46031
 16.04.2011
April 15 - World Contraception Day. If you are familiar with Gandons - you can call, congratulate)
MeatWad: I will turn off my phone.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №46030
 16.04.2011
Ihaveabomb: Shoes will last a lot longer if you don’t buy a new one.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №46029
 16.04.2011
What is your name, Tanks? and ;)
2: You learn to read, he has a Nick Tankist point :)
I think the tank is right.
Or maybe a tank?
Tankist1o4ka (does not stand and answers): I am a TANKIST ONLY!! The tank, the mole!! to

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