Today in the repair was a computer with a modem brand Pentagram.
So I see this advertisement: "Modems "Pentagram" - the Internet at Aztec speeds!"

"Rostechnology": "We have released a new phone. There will be two screens.
B: Would you be interested in connecting with the VAZWORK?? to
c: Is the GLONASS backpack and batteries included?
"Rostechnology":Seven Sims..In-built shocker and electric shaver..Secret socket for your credit card..And rubber..Special pocket heating mode...

x: As explained by the head of the department for urban development Nikolai Zlobin, the electricity consumption of LED lamps is 25 times the life of a conventional lamp.
A cow weighs 250 times the life span of a duck.
X is dumb )))

For men to have only one thing in mind, a woman, oh how you need to work hard: to obscure football, beer, cars, etc. of other women.

Unpleasant history in general.

A few years ago, a rehabilitation program for drug addicts was developed in our city. The essence of her briefly consisted in treatment with subsequent employment. Young people who were caught with a small amount of drugs were offered a choice: either a criminal case or treatment under this program and work for several years. Thus, in the dining room of our company came Lecha.

Leish was placed on the most harmless thing - to make salads. Leia tried very hard. And we started periodically eating very funny salads. How about, for example, winegret with crab sticks? Or a mimosis with a green peanut?
The management tolerated these twists until the time, but somewhere a month later, Lecha noticed such a masterpiece that he came to see the doctors of the rehabilitation center on the wreck accompanied by the police. The body was dropped down, took a blood test and released back after an hour. There was nothing in his blood.

In the evening before the end of the working day, I went to the toilet to “refresh” and heard a quiet whisper in the neighboring cabin. I persuaded Lesha to go out and we three with my friend accompanied him home.

The story of Lehi was simple: a boy from a good family. After high school, he went to cooking and wanted to become a cook. But he got into a bad company and tried herb first, and then heroin. When he was caught, he was already seated. To the Rehabilitation Center asked himself, there he was transplanted from heroin to pills, rid of addiction, but broke the roof. According to the idea, he needed to recover in the center for at least six months and would be a normal person. But here was the end of the year, the region needed good statistics and everyone who at least somehow got rid of the dependence was quickly discharged and distributed by the city's budget enterprises.
Lesser remembered the cooking equipment and sent to the dining room. 99% of those throwed out in this way within a month collapsed and returned to the Center to make statistics for the following year. Leshai also came to pick up, but the difference was that he did not just want to avoid conviction, he really wanted to give up. He didn’t even drink beer after leaving.

In general, we ended our conversation with his parents for a cup of tea.
The next day, we gathered the initiative group and went to the dining room with a request to leave Lesha. Eventually, he was transferred from chefs to auxiliary workers for a while. By the time I left, Lecha was making salads again under the supervision of the cook.

Actually, I would hardly have remembered this story almost a decade ago, if it had not been a recent case. My wife and I went to dinner at the cafe.
I ordered and pulled a beer. Here they bring me something. A steak dried up on top with shrimp, green peas, tomatoes, fry onions and even the hell knows what. I misunderstood the waitress. She obviously makes me laugh. And here the body comes out. In a cooking cap and with a smile across the face. On the bench was a normal steak and a bottle of wine. Unfortunately, we couldn’t talk especially, Lecha was the chief chef there and couldn’t get away, but I never ate a more delicious steak in my life. Maybe simply because of the taste of joy for a person who did not break and fulfilled his dream.

The boss teaches the smaller boss:
You cannot give an employee more work than he can do. I know,
Whatever he does, he will do nothing at all.

She drove her younger brother to a tree for the New Year. In the entrance, I quietly get a set of chocolate rabbits out of the bag, solemnly gifted. Reaction - "cool, where are the sperm?"

ColorFlow
Does anyone know how many programming languages exist in the world?? to

bolk
and none. How can I find out? There are very little known languages, there are dead.

impwx
In a computer journal about 2002 it was written that there were more than 2,500. You can imagine how many of them are now...

bolk
Nothing has changed, there are still more than 2,500.

Conversation with the operator about the photo session of two girls

Boris: I had the objective broken after that filming.Repair of Road
Nifferstain: did not endure such beauty ))
Boris : yes )
Boris: The Water
Nifferstain: the saliva has swallowed

Resume of the candidate in the bank:
Technical skills: confident PC user, Microsoft Office 2003, 2007, work on the Internet
Knowledge of foreign languages: English, German - read, translate with dictionary
Physical training: I do not smoke.

From the website of the company dealing with the sale of cars VAZ:

VAZ 21074 models are created for those who prefer reliability, economy and safety to the pathos of many "foreign cars".

1: I need something to drink for memory, but then the gentlemen are on the nose.
Glycine can be, not expensive.
1: Does it help? Do you drink it yourself?
I don’t know, I don’t drink.
1: Is it so?
Yes, I forget all the time!

Morokun: The name iVan may soon become extremely popular.

Satan: I fucking go to this clinic only fucking a single certificate and do
Satan: They would destroy this house and make a kiosk
Satan with evidence
Satan: There would be more.

- A colleague brought to the office a book about Buryat traditions and fairy tales. He began to read a page with the meanings of names: Erdem - "knowledge", Seseg - "flower", Bolod - "sufficient".

Apparently, by tradition, the fifteenth child in the family was called Bolod.

A conversation between a boy and a girl

She: Do you know this country of Nemy?
He is: No.
She: How is it?! to
He did not learn geography at school.
It is: Stretch your brain!! This is where the Germans live!! to

He just fell on the floor and started shaking his feet.

From the Drum Forum:
xxx: Will the drums of the company sonor be suitable for playing in the style of thrash metal?
YYY: Will the Seagate hard drive be suitable for storing photos?
Zzz: Will the racers go to the boxer?

If you leave, I will hate you quietly.
YYY: So I will not go, will you love loudly? O_O

After sex *
She: I am sick.
He: Do I give you something?
She: No, I was probably stuck on the bed.

The xxx:
How, tell me, did they manage to break such an anticipated contract with the Americans?
YYYY :
Very simple - they arranged a salute, a party and other joke with scale. They announced that they were celebrating this day.
The xxx:
and?
YYYY :
It would have been nothing if it had not been September 11th.
The xxx:
by Facepalm