bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №153173
 17.10.2019
Xxx: The first pet was a hamster, it lived with me no more than 3 days. I don't know why, but on the third day he died :(

Yyy: Food to drink tried

Xxx: Yes, but it didn’t bring him back to life.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №153172
 17.10.2019
Recently, his daughter went to the Olympics in the "environmental world". While waiting, I heard the story.

There was a boy. Father stuck for a long time in remote places, mother deprived of parental rights. I raise my grandmother. They live modestly.



He is a hard-working man, but teaching is hard. And just then for the whole class with him in all ways praised the medalists of the city Olympiad in mathematics. And the boy also wanted to be in the zenith of fame. After a sober assessment of his knowledge, he stopped on the subject "the surrounding world". The unstoppable examination of the subject gave him 1 place in the class. It was a pass to the city Olympics.



He did not get the prize. All the participants remembered him, because after the end of the Olympics he approached everyone and asked for a long time what questions were caught. He recorded everything in a notebook. In the third class, the story repeated. The same flight, the recording of questions in the notebook. 4th grade and the winner of the Olympics. When the letter was handed to him, he was attached, but his lips trembled. God let him not waste this perseverance in the future.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №153171
 17.10.2019
Politicians never lie, they just say what people want to hear.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №153170
 17.10.2019
In 1985, cosmonauts Janibekov and Savinov reanimated the deforested orbital station "Saliut-7". This flight is considered to be the most difficult flight in the history of space. The power supply of the station was disrupted, it did not communicate. For repair were sent Janibekov and Savinov on the ship "Soyuz T-13". They went off and took up repairs. The repair was about as follows: some block was removed, checked by the tester, normal returned to place, faulty were replaced. And here, after replacing the next block, Janibekov clearly heard a calm voice behind his back: "Good, daddy!". His first thought was, “All, dog, goodbye, cosmonautics – my roof has gone.” Then I noticed that Savian's nose was white too. This was a bit reassuring - they could not go to the two roofs at once. I turned around (who else could be there besides them?) They started hysterically.
The previous crew left a cassette with the "White Sun of the Desert" in a video magnetophone. While the station was destroyed, the visitor slept, and as he asked, he woke up. Just in the same place when the Red Army Sukhov approaches the axacals. A quiet panic began in the CUP when there was heard the hysterical whisper of the astronauts, and they could not clearly report the situation for a long time.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №153169
 17.10.2019
There will be something to remember in old age.
In old age, you will remember where you put your glasses.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №153168
 17.10.2019
About 27 years ago, two people had sex, and now I have to go to work every day.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №153167
 17.10.2019
I went to the market at the age of 12 and bought a daily five-pound chicken 6 pieces. The parents were in shock.

I brought them to the roofed balcony and raised this gang for 3 months. She fed them with wheat with eggs and, on my mother’s advice, with butter.

Everyone came up with a name, went out with them in the yard, they followed me.

And then in August I went to the camp on a trip, and when I arrived I learned that the chickens had gone to my grandmother in the village.

“I don’t have a grandmother in the village,” I said.

“We found your chickens a great grandmother,” the parents replied, “and, in general, don’t get distracted, eat a delicious soup.

The 90s was

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №153166
 17.10.2019
When I was under 12, we kept chickens right at home in the winter, such were the times. I came back from school with a few chickens in boxes to lay eggs. My grandmother told me to bring those back to the grocery store and the eggs to the refrigerator. I look into the box, and there are two chickens and one egg. Well, because of all my strength, I was not confused and remembered how my grandmother did - I naked the little boy and slipped into the claw, touched the egg. The second chicken. So I lost my little virginity 🥺

YYY: Oh, tell me something else. I just ate nuts here, and I almost swallowed.

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