bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №146562
 17.11.2017
XXX I am fat.
No need, you are beautiful.
I didn’t say I was scary. I said I was fat.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146561
 17.11.2017
Buzova gave Sarah Jessica Parker her debut album and points.

Instructions for use: Close your ears when listening to the album.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №146560
 17.11.2017
Daughter defectologist showed a page from a textbook about different degrees of debility and their signs.
I realized that we are actually a lot :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146559
 17.11.2017
You don’t even know why we fought with her this time!
Did you tell her she’s fat?
HGH is worse. I downloaded a new voice package to the navigator, a dumb other female voice. To her question, where do I deal the old woman, I replied that I was tired, and in general, this younger woman.
She doesn’t talk to me now.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146558
 17.11.2017
Benefits of Integrals. By the way, they flew on a loaded bidar double in the threshold with elements of the fifth category. Only the sixth is hotter, and the baida above the three is not intended. I hear the food. If we stand by the side of the stream, it will awaken, smash on the stones. Two bodies in perspective. We have strength, but we lack strength. The idea is a roof!! I instantly raise my knee and rely on it in the middle of the veil. Both hands on the other side. I push my back with all my strength. This is almost one movement per second. The total. The threshold passed. Alive and whole. The wave of fear is bowed into the bow. And don’t remember sixth class, physics with leverage, where I’d be caught.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146557
 17.11.2017
1: well here... the lamp, which standardly costs 1800, and at the sale 11.11 was worth 1600, can finally be bought for 1370 :-)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146556
 17.11.2017
I watched the movie Doctor Strange. The impression is double. On the one hand, it all resembles the "Matrix" - from the plot to the battle scene and more. On the other hand, it is also an instructive story that you should not drink tea with unknown herbs in the lobby of Tibetan sectarians.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146555
 17.11.2017
There are people who never grow up. Just mom and teachers, who will indicate everything to do and how to think, are replaced by other designated figures. These undergrown "lost boys" will stop playing toys at the age of seven, because they, like any baby, want to show that they are "big", they at twelve will react with contempt about their peers watching cartoons. They grow up, do not grow up and do not include the mindset, they are trained as puppets and say that they dream of becoming a cosmonaut, when in late Soviet times they DREAM to dream of becoming a cosmonaut, and in the nineties they dream of becoming a manager of anything, in the zero - to live up with an apartment house, a chariot, to find the opposite ceiling for breeding, because the mother requires grandchildren and it is generally appropriate. To think even for a moment, and whether they need something, and what they want - eternal children are not able.
And around them they see those who have not only grown up, but also grown up. Who at least forty will watch Little Pony, because for an adult, his personal matter is what he likes to watch. Who makes money and is free to spend them at least on a walk trip with a cat across Europe, at least on a collection of toy penguins. Because really grown-ups don’t think at all about “being AS big” – they just live a real life that they build for themselves.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №146554
 17.11.2017
X: Once again, Friday was unnoticed.
U: It is always so, well, it would be before Saturday, NO, always after Thursday.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №146553
 17.11.2017
Will he not be offended, did the cat tell you about it, or did you, so to speak, model and assess yourself? The cat eats when the owner speaks on Skype, not at all. If the cat is already castrated, what will you offer?

by substance.
If the cat _oreth_ without other hairstyles, as the main three:
Eggs are full of hormones.
Empty stomach, let me eat.
I want a normal toilet or I want to go right here.
He has developed a reflex. To get rid of reflexes helps a flower sprayer.

Furthermore, for patients, they seriously compare their eggs (and actually their brains) to cats.
I know from the example of many cats and cats who didn’t love their owners less. As for me, I have three significant differences from the cat:
I can choose a partner.
I am able to be self-satisfied if after applying p.1 I have no choice.
I can wear a condom.
There is no doubt that on these three points, a substantial proportion of males are cats at least by a third.
But those who seriously argue about the higher nervous activity of cats at the level of awareness of their own castration (and even more so as to formulate their owner in some meta-language) - this is the road to a flat-earth society, I will not argue with them (unnecessary).
A cat is a simple creature. Which will give warmth and love and ask for eggs regardless of eggs. And will forget about the hotdog altogether the next day.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146552
 17.11.2017
If a cat wanted to eat, chew, or fuck, it would mock regardless of the owner’s occupation. And if it is exactly when the owner is on Skype or on the phone - the thing is that he hears the voice, but does not understand who is addressed.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №146551
 17.11.2017
The quote:
"This is one of the main problems. of anal sex. The size of the penis in diameter in approximately 98% of cases is greater than the maximum stretch diameter of the anal sphincter. As a result, when such a penis is inserted into a healthy undamaged anus, its sphincters break and lose the ability to close the anal hole.

"In connection with this injury, the load on the spine, which begins to get off, is significantly increased."

The injury also slows the movement of the victim, and in sport deteriorates the achievements of athletes.

I’m talking to our players, guys, forgive me, I didn’t know. I insulted you. I thought you couldn’t play...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146550
 17.11.2017
What makes a Los Angeles house worse than a castle?

Far from the metro.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №146549
 17.11.2017
Where the FSE goes!

>> When a formally adult man aged 20+ looks at this, and not just in the background, but directly with enthusiasm, he understands who is who is in this shit, who was there on whom and who whom the pipes shattered... it is not even a diagnosis, it is a verdict.

What then to say about those adults who invent these cartoons, create and (oh horror! Burn them all in hell!! They still get for this favourite (again about horror!) Money work?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №146548
 17.11.2017
In the wave of posts I will also write about my betrayal. It happened 20 years ago and lasted a long time. I was never caught, although I did it regularly. I went out of the house, told my grandmother who lived with me that I was going for a walk, and I went to my grandmother on the father's line, who lived in a couple of houses from there (the grandmothers didn't get along with me for reasons unknown to me). And with my grandmother on my father’s line, I ate cakes because they were more delicious, and then I went back and said I wasn’t hungry. My deception has never been revealed and I have lived with this heavy burden on my shoulder for 20 years.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №146547
 17.11.2017
xxx: The owner of the car must, as in normal countries, come to the service, say, stop, and in a couple of days come back to pick up the repaired car. and all.
YYY: And what has the country not hit again? Official dealers of all brands have services with original services and this approach to the customer. There is the possibility to pay 2500 for the normal hour and 6000 for the filter, the analogue of which costs 800p, so no one prohibits. On the contrary, they are waiting for everyone with open arms. A beautiful girl in the waiting area will also drink coffee for free.

[ + 77 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146546
 17.11.2017
The more primitive a person is, the easier it seems to him what surrounds him. The fool is always clear, he is always clear. Another opinion? Not the right. Another way of life? Not the normal. Others who are not similar to his hobbies? Irene, not worthy of attention. The fool is not only absolutely confident in the high level of his intelligence and the infallibility of his knowledge, but also rushes to teach others. He probably wants the others to be like him.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146545
 17.11.2017
Sechin confused the court and divorced Ulyukaev.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №146544
 17.11.2017
The preamble.
Behind the window is a school stadium, where in the morning people torment themselves with running and other physical training. The younger generation, not yet concerned with pressure / cholesterol / arthritis / shortness of breath, runs around the corner on the shifts, smoking cigarettes.
The Ambulance.
The next day, coming out of the entrance, I encounter a bunch of girls running out to fuck on the change. They have a tragedy: they are all missing. The most uncomplexed, having put all their craftsmanship into action, rush to the man who cleans the car nearby: Mushchka :) serve a cigarette :) :)...
The man is sad: You would quit smoking, girls. You still have children to give birth!
Nymphs embarrassed but with a challenge in response: “Is it about you?”
The man, breathing, cried out: When this touches me it will be too late.
He continues to clean the car.

I know this man. Pathologist from the hospital.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №146543
 17.11.2017
The exhibitionist accidentally found himself on a nudist beach and lost the meaning of life.

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