bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110819
 17.03.2015
To us in the central office from the new year began to call the directors of branches and other responsible whose branch did not meet the planned indicators. They do explanatory work. The colleagues received an offer to make a small catalog of pants with widths on the pope and disassemble in the reception room.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №110818
 17.03.2015
Dear friend of mine from the city of metalurgists on the letter Ch." - and nothing more, that Ch.Elyabinsk is the Southern Ural? Or where else is the city of metalworkers on the letter Ch. in the north? Enlightenment, we are all interested
With respect, the head of the commercial department, the steel trade (well and all of the finni that is associated with its production) company, an indigenous resident of the city of Ch.
#######
The company name is in the studio.
So that your customers know that this company does not suspect the existence of the northern metallurgical giant - the Northwest metal combination in Cherepovets!
O Lord, what are you, poor people!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110817
 17.03.2015
I cooked spaghetti. Well, on the whole spaghetti, bukatini. Stir into the pot, as always, as they softened, they always slipped into the pot and cooked perfectly. I smelled burnt. I turn around: they bend over the boundary of the pot and swallow the torch! Have you seen the pasta burn? Bucatini Granmulino - fun lights in your kitchen!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110816
 17.03.2015
Come here :
— — —
>>> And I would love to wear a shirt in the heat.
A heterosexual man sweated on the road at a lecture.

Wear a kilt. It’s better to put a little bit of stuff together so that there are fewer questions.)
— — —

Japanese shorts of Hakama and Katanu. This is my young samurai :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110815
 17.03.2015
Grandma: I’ve always been afraid of the crowd, these ugly, average miserable people. I was accused of snobism.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110814
 17.03.2015
xxx: and I love fresh vegetables - tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, cabbage.
YYY: I also love them.
yyy: especially in hamburgers, pizzas or in the shelf

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №110813
 17.03.2015
This student:

xxx: Now I will break templates from the authors of the geography textbook for 5th grade.
xxx: You are smart, respected people, but, understand, in modern schoolchildren the phrase "in the city there is a production of coke" is not associated with metallurgy at all.

I graduated from school 10 years ago, but I have the word "cox" also associated not with metallurgy, but only with coal processing.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110812
 17.03.2015
XXX: Prikyn - certificate in the embassy of Belarus about the absence of conviction costs 35 euros
YYY: Solid money runs
XXH: Oh, and the certificate that I ordered such a certificate is so much more

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110811
 17.03.2015
Wog: Be able to slide down in a flat place, with a cup of tea in one hand and a sandwich in the other, falling, turn your ankle, hit your elbow on the floor, while splashing hot tea into your face, ringing with a flying spoon, but still save the sandwich.
On Mondays I have incredible talents.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110810
 17.03.2015
A smart woman (or a smart woman):

___
The worst thing is UGG.
___

Greetings from the place where winter is 9 months a year!
At -30 a.m., somehow, that on the legs - duts, valens, uggy, the main thing is that it is warm. Yes, uggi warm, especially trui razen uggi on cigay. Stop looking at someone else’s shoes, follow yourself.
All the beauty, sunlight and warm shoes

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110809
 17.03.2015
What is the essence of your trolling?
1: Driving and having fun?
2: You’t believe it...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110808
 17.03.2015
The authors of the hymn of the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic deliberately made the first line the phrase "Live, Ukraine, beautiful and strong". The call “Live, Ukraine” was opposed to the Western necromancy “not dead yet”. And indeed, in Soviet times Ukraine lived and grew in territories, and in post-Soviet times it is regularly necessary to remind: “No, it has not yet died, it just smells like that.”

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №110807
 17.03.2015
E-V-S: It will now be celebrated by the cellular company that will automatically connect subscribers who are currently simultaneously calling each other.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110806
 17.03.2015
From a colleague’s letter:
"Please make an assessment by tomorrow. Otherwise, the leadership will blow me up on a tree growing on a flowering lawn, and on my cold corpse the hamsters will make a nest. You understand that one cannot be subjected to such terrible trials.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110805
 17.03.2015
Dennis: I’ve always wanted to swim in gold coins like Scrooge McDack. I am a person with a higher technical education. I know very well that the naphid would break. I want it anyway!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110804
 17.03.2015
What do you think of the fire at the monastery?
I have not been in women’s monasteries for 30 years.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №110803
 17.03.2015
The door at the entrance is iron, heavy and with a tight guide. When on the street minus, the lubricant in the boiler freezes, and only healthy men can normally get out of the entrance, all the others get to open the door only from the pinch, and then not from the first.

Somewhere by mid-January, I was in such a situation. I went to the management company - said, you can't live this way, take action.

The managing company was silent for two months, and last week (mid-March, for a minute), when the weather set one temperature record after another, urged to come and check out and quickly registered that it did not find a problem!

How can we not love these cute, glorious people?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110802
 17.03.2015
I forgot my job leave today. It turned out that the pass office started working an hour and a half later than my, so you have to wait until the aunt comes in the window. And if I want to get to work before this point, I need to apply for a special night pass. "So why have you not applied since evening?", the guard asks.

The task asks how to explain to him that last night I didn’t know I’d forget the pass.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110801
 17.03.2015
A three-and-a-half-year-old boy struck his forehead at the open door of the closet. Rebecca ran to her mother’s room. He came back in a few minutes.
How did you manage to hit?
This is so!
With these words, he cries himself with his fist on his forehead...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110800
 17.03.2015
> one lupin survived and it appears petunia whole

Yes, you don’t have a plant there, but a harripotter, bite me a testator!

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