Crusade in Nigeria announced by Christian terrorists: May 31 they will begin to destroy the Muslim north. According to the South, this will be a response to the activities of Islamic terrorists in the country.

Pingvin: I don't even know who to hurt for, so I'll just watch and enjoy the beautiful game :-D

I suddenly realized that it is not necessary to go to Vietnam in pants with the American flag.

The inscription on the fence: "LGBT - pydors!"

xxx for 600.
Q: Are you a neighbor?
XXX is no.
YYY: And that’s the right answer.
Yyy: but your point still goes to the auditorium
XXX is fucking

In Moscow everything is fine, but I can't find smoked chicken anywhere :(
Yes, in the solariums of these chickens...

xxx - 15 articles of the widepedy included in the list of prohibited
YYY - These are the idiots
zzz - Aga, resembles a pregnant schoolgirl rubbing in a pulp cream for weight loss
Customers take control of the internet, MPs take care of people, performers get a salary for easy activities, and all at our expense. Who is an idiot?

To be happy, a person needs at least 106 minutes of sex a day.
I will try to be happy.

Stayed at home with the tribe, turned him a telecome and said:
The amount of alcohol advertising, on Ukrainian channels, just goes up!
It’s fine in the evening, when the adults come from work.
But beer and vodka six times in a 15-minute advertising block, between “Luntik” and “Dasha” – that’s beyond the line of good and evil!

I am a harsh Russian grandmother.
Yyy: You’re still scratching when you get blood from your finger, Dasha.

I have a collection of small bottles of alcohol all over the kitchen that my friends will often find. Dialogue on my birthday celebration (everyone is scattered around the kitchen and considering them):

How many you already have.
I, turning to the dishwasher (back to everyone) and washing out the glass: 452 pieces.
Friend: And now what?

In the dark winter,
Not to hide, not to flee.
And if all that you are,
Route from work to bed.
Remember that you have cats.
Take them and be hungry.

It is beneficial for the heart of cats.
in the mouth of the neck,
in the district of Makushka, in the area of the sides,
Also in the ears.
Your cat is set, your cat is ready.
Treat him quickly.

It is very useful to kiss cats.
and swallow their stomachs.
When you fell into bed,
You don’t want to call an ambulance.
I was willing to die -
Cats come to you.
They lie on their neck and are very hungry.
escaping from darkness.
by alonso_kexano

I just had an unusual story. We went on snowboarding with the crowd. I with my husband. Since he wasn’t riding, he was working purely as my driver, he took the iPad and sat down while I was riding.
We’re going to leave, I’m stuck my barrel in the car, my husband helps me and puts my iPad on the roof... I might think I won’t continue. We went, and somewhere in half an hour we realized that we left it on the roof. We stop – he is not there. We return, inspect the entire parking lot, start driving at a speed of 10 km / h, inspecting each bush. When we lost hope, after driving 8 km, we saw the iPad on the road! It was just something! I have accepted that we will not find him. He was, of course, with broken glass, but he worked. Just a miracle!
But most of all I was delighted by my boss, to whom I told about this when he said "no;you are real Russians, and you lost him and broke it".))))

You have to agree with him in everything and do not override him in anything.
yyy: Probably the shortest instructions for working with the installer's))

Let me one day be the person my dog thinks I am.
Yyy: And don’t let God be what my cat thinks of me.

A colleague calls a phone number, mistakes and does not wait for a response: "Allo, Igor Nikolaevich?"
From there, a sad old-fashioned woman’s voice said: “No... This is an old grandmother... And she put the phone on.”

What is the fundamental difference between GPS and GLONASS?
The number of satellites underwater.

It was a spectacle! I was called by a security guard to talk to some "workers". Two men are looking for the breakdown of a 6kV cable, which turns out to pass underground from the end of the office, carefully under the accessory leading to the basement. But how do they "seek"!!! They have a wooden rod about 1.6m long, they put it on the asphalt, and the other end lean to the ear and listen. I even wondered at first what shamans were. High voltage discharges are supplied to the cable from the substation and micro-explosions are obtained at the site of the rupture. Here are the sounds of these micro-explosions and listen to... the stick... the 21st century...

The men are definitely nice, uniquely, the accuracy of determining the breakout of 20-30 cm, but I still sit in the space...

Xxx: Current girls catch on the puddles cleaner than before boys on the puddle with lesbians
Yyy: Could they think it’s cute?
Xxx: ah, fuck in the ass - it's so mimic

AAA: When I was a child, aged six to seven, I learned the word, but I didn’t know it was maternal, so I walked around and called everyone foolish until I was told that it wasn’t good to do it. When I grew up, I realized I was doing the right thing.

...I follow the lighting and signs, I walk around the pit, I think ahead of the other participants of the movement, I predict pedestrian manoeuvres, and here in front of me, without a turntable, a black BMW unexpectedly crashes, and here I remember that on the roads, in addition to other shit and obstacles, there are still a lot of fools whose bread don't pin, let me measure with pips, crack and generally show who is the main cock.