bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112243
 17.04.2015
Privet by Nina! Poexali luche vmeste vo Vladivostok na transsibirskoj magistrale! by Davaj? Budet zdorovo!and "
The French friend Beatrice writes to me)) how would she explain that this is not exactly what every Russian wants?))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112242
 17.04.2015
Once upon a time, in the 70s and 80s, a lawyer who knew me, a 10-year-old, asked me about my knowledge of pornography. He had an interesting case, the sculptor was accused of pornography and for this he was going to be jailed. And since I was in art school, I could be considered a quite authoritative expert. Well, I brought a bunch of the most famous paintings, in comparison with which the work of this artist was just innocent madness...The lawyer shone, the artist was released for the absence of a crime composition, and I got a chocolate. So since then, dear ones, the concepts of decent and undecent, erotic and pornography, extortion and sexual acts have been so clearly chewed, written, numbered and scattered that there is nothing to argue about. Everything is in the laws. What is unclear is explained in the comments. And all the rest is nothing more than the hants of incompetent people, neither in dances nor in laws.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112241
 17.04.2015
In Taoism (or elsewhere) there is a practice: to do 100 good deeds in a row.
As soon as you squeeze, the counter drops down - start all over again.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112240
 17.04.2015
Oh, what do you know about cognitive dissonance!I have a friend who is engaged in aquariums, I was not yet acquainted with him at the time, well, I was sent to him about my sick fish.I go through a dark corridor, and to meet me a troubled guy with a thoughtful face, in one hand carries a cat dead for the tail, in the other a tail!!I have already started and here this miracle with a low voice begins to complain "Look, the food of the piton has frozen, and he refuses to eat, will now have to cut off for turtles and crocodiles".He is familiar veterinarians regularly throw all kinds of dead animals from the clinic.
Fuck, I’d run away from there.
A funny guy turned out to be.I then asked to him somehow, and there in the room we meet a healthy such a cat, climbs to him on his arms and looks at me so badly.He says "She doesn't like girls, because she considers herself the only lover, so be careful, watch not to bite".
What’s in his head? what’s in his head?! to

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №112239
 17.04.2015
And why is the 14-year-old fool protected by the law, and the 18-year-old is not?
— — —
At 14 it is the age, and at 18+ it is already a diagnosis.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112238
 17.04.2015
At the same time, the court found former director of the factory Yuri Shulgan guilty of the theft of 29 million rubles and sentenced him to three years conditionally, fining 550 thousand rubles.
Yes, in general... Go to celebrate once a month and have a bunch of money for the rest of your life. Just bite.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112237
 17.04.2015
He wrote a large post on the theme of beekeeping, about bee dances at the forum of biologists. They ran some idiots and wrecked the whole branch.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112236
 17.04.2015
A classic from a forum:

Darwin’s theory of evolution contradicts the law of entropy. To support increasingly complex organisms and ecosystems, a powerful source of external energy would be needed.
The Darwinists!

> "The Sun? I have not heard of it".

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №112235
 17.04.2015
Take treatment :

The Sadist:
I propose to gather all the bees in the same hall and pour a couple of dozens of high-quality salt roots! With the publication of photos of crooked asses on the board of honour!
— — — —
I suggest healing your brain.
— — — —
The man speaks! Much more effective than any reasoning about corruption. You give back the only true way to raise the youths and whistleblowers!
100 times will think about whether to wear a miniature, if there is a real chance to dance hard, without it, on the bench at the top of the back!
and...
You know, Chen said right. Heal your brain. Here are both of you, naturally sick sadist perverse.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №112234
 17.04.2015
Colleagues talk at work:
The first (P) asks the second (B): “Have you ever had an offer that you could not refuse?”
A: Of course it is!
All the others at once: Tell me!
A: So one day I got an agenda from the military committee and I couldn’t refuse it!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112233
 17.04.2015
Tictalic - scabies and scales + lungs and movable neck. Ichtiostega and Akantostega are the same song, but with more developed floaters.
Archaeopteryx is a pear dinosaur with a tooth.
Mesogipus is a prehistoric horse, with fingers instead of copits.
Ambulocetus is a whale that still has legs.
The dark forms of humans.
And such species are open enough to be convinced of the fidelity of the evolutionary approach. And you, a creationist citizen, know a lot of findings supporting your creation theory?
— — —
Thou art not the Lord of the believers. They are not just a transitional type, but the most transitional. For example, if it is claimed that birds originated from reptiles, they need to bring a half-reptile bird, which is both scaly and in feathers, and flying and crawling.
In any case, will it not be that you will suck me a bird / frog?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №112232
 17.04.2015
I'm listening to a fun disc here - postmodern-folk-rock-dum-metal-det-metal
I have eaten a waffle.
You have won.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112231
 17.04.2015
We have xxx here ;)
Yesterday evening one girl wrote a letter and mistakenly inserted the whole bank in the field, but today there were responsible intelligents who thought it was their duty to answer that the letter was not addressed to them, and guess what they had in the field.? to

YY writer

xxx is a fist, followed by a series of letters c (!) Please stop the correspondence and do not respond ?

YYYYYYY))

xxx and everyone in the field "com" stands the same "the entire bank"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112230
 17.04.2015
The Spring. and dirty. A young mother and her 3-year-old son are crossing the road. The passing car hit the wheel in the asphalt and little sprinkled dirt on them. Mom just squeezed, but the baby... "Pidays" - the baby rattled, angrily squeezed

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112229
 17.04.2015
I will agree!by :

They saw the wickedness in the dance of bees... And nobody came to the barracks that the bees’ barracks are exactly where these schoolgirls, in fact, were turning? So, this is not a disgrace, but a demonstration of their weapons to Winnie Pooh. Normal, unconcerned people will perceive it like this. Have you seen the picture of a man and a grandmother made up of dolphins? The destruction is not in the sorties, but in the heads.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Yes, it is somehow so. The perverse people looked at the bee, excited, shouted - evil, to prohibit! They were touched.
The normal - looked, shrugged their shoulders, twisted their fingers at the whistle, addressed the upset, went on.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112228
 17.04.2015
With the submission of Washington in Europe, they will form a structure whose employees will work in Russian-language social networks – from “Odnoklassniki” and “VKontakte” to local Facebook and Twitter segments. The purpose of the new media department is the struggle with Russia in the information sphere.

I wonder: who will redirect whom?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112227
 17.04.2015
In the Cuban village of Indyuk, the spouses robbed the mail, armed with a plastic pistol
After a while, they were caught in a stunned car.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №112226
 17.04.2015
I decided to go to the cinema after work. I go to the cinema box office. There is the inscription "Tickets at 18:40 no". I stand and think what to do... Go to another movie or go home...
Here comes a girl, sees this advertisement and turns to the cashier:
There are no tickets at all?
No, there is one left.
The girl buys a ticket and goes to the movie, and I stand and understand all the shortcomings of her technical education and the dignity of the female mind, for whom there is a difference between “No Tickets” and “No Tickets at all.”

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №112225
 17.04.2015
Speaking of disgrace.
Gentlemen, angry homophobes, please explain the reasons for your anger. When was the last time you saw a same-sex couple on the street or in public? Not teenagers who demonstrate discrepancy. Not in the whistle of drunk gentlemen who scream that they love each other. And same-sex couples who demonstrate their relationship.
The heterosexuals have already struck. Not a town, but a bordell. They stand in the middle of the sidewalk and barely climb each other’s cowards. I think we should be fined for that :-(

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112224
 17.04.2015
Because of such moralists and believe that the victim of rape is the fault itself (dressed too challenging, seductive body movement, at night alone, seductive phrase said and the other Hun *).

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