"Well, let’s start with God" spoke our professor of scientific atheism.

Yes Yes Yes
Being a cat

If you want a crazy cat without castration, the best cats and tranquility for the fate of the children - be an elite breed cat-producer.

Driving to the noisy exhibitions in the breaks between exhausting chases, gruming, inspection, judges and spectators, your children can finish whatever they want and at six years of age you are still castrated because you have become too old to withstand reproduction.

No, did you think? They put sand in all their pockets. They are completely in the sand. and s
Soon there will be a bunch of children lying there and they will not be able to get out!

You always know where your child is. But there is a question. If the magnet is so strong that it holds a child behind a pocket with a handful of iron sand, how will the child himself break that handful from the common pile?

It's easier: parents release the kids, wait for them to run to the sandbox and pick up the sand in their pockets, and turn on the electromagnet! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! to

I told all my colleagues that I have a twin so I don’t say hello if I happen to meet them in the city.

This is:
xxx: the childhood on the big sometimes resembles self-propelled missiles. At first, he is driving normally, but he suddenly turns straight to you, looks you in the eyes, while, what is typical, does not brake or turn away.

Adults are worse. It goes straight to you, and the eyes are empty and transparent. No one is on the way.
You know how scary it is at these moments. Not because you’re riding a bicycle, but because you’re not being seen. Or not at all :(

Boss: You’ve been late to work three times this week. Do you know what it means?
Today is only Wednesday.

I know I’m not saying this often enough, but thank you for not showing me photos of your children.

I ordered pizza. After half an hour, the operator called, tell, the courier is delayed, choose a soda as a gift. We sit and wait for a cold pizza. Within two hours, it turns out that the order is completed. There are ninja turtles in Moscow.

Being a cat

If you want a crazy cat without castration, the best cats and tranquility for the fate of the children - be an elite breed cat-producer.

Dad, have you adopted me?
I: Not yet, but we are not losing hope.

I am currently reading the instructions for a new washing machine, there are all the items like the usual, like "Don't hit the brick there".
And then suddenly comes the point: "During the washing, silver ions do not form in the washing machine". Fuck, I was hoping.

Children are prohibited from performing the cleaning and maintenance of the device without supervision. Fuck, why do we need kids now?

WHY in all the American films in the final, when all the villains are dead, a bunch of police cars, everything on the mask, on the main characters who participated in everything, all soaked and survived, a caring policeman must throw a wool blanket??? In this case, the action takes place in Mexico in the middle of the summer.

Yes, my dear, that in a stressful situation many have a cold (regardless of the temperature of the surrounding air), and the blanket is not so that it warms up, but a little soothing.

A friend (D) went to his new apartment on the 18th floor, boasted in common correspondence that he sees many areas who live in.

You are really watching everyone :)
D is Uga :)
I am the eye of Sauron.
D: Where are those fucking hobbies?! to

- Listen, friend, would you not drop you in a known direction?
How many commands per day?

I love Moscow, everyone is equal here. You are in a traffic jamming on your rotted “nine” and the same people are standing next to you on the “maserati”. That is equality.

It happened not so long ago, within decades, in Moscow.
The passing person, crossing the road, on the pedestrian crossing, he was crossing, by the way, on the lights burning his light was almost shot down by a car that went from the side. The girl jumped out of the car, and let us water the pedestrian with all the words she knew and heard!! to
I was most delighted by the pedestrian who looked into her car, pulled out the ignition key and threw it through the roof on the edge of the road into the wastewater well.

About 2 million questions were sent to the president. Removed the mothers, remains 73!! to

Denis
by 4:42
We are making terrible games.
A 7 year old boy:
When a child dies please do so that he can be carried like a beast so that he can be buried in the grass at home.

Ivan is
by 16:53
What do you have for games?
Child is dying
Buried in grass
What this is

Daria is
by 16:53
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Ivan is
by 16:53
Simulator of dying children.

Drivers and Drivers.
Last year, the autumn-winter daughter studied for an exchange semester in Paris. I went to Spain for the weekend in the Basque Country in Bilbao. On the way back at an interim stop between Bilbao and Paris, he asks drivers (two of them on long-haul routes) if they will soon get to Paris. They have round eyes: we’re not going to Paris, we’re going to London. We will not go to Paris. Now the daughter has round eyes: going back in the night, confused the bus. Go here and get to Paris in the middle of the night? The drivers say: we will soon have a shift, another couple will go to London, and we will be taken to Paris by minivan. Do you want with us? Where did we not disappear? I went to some town. Watermen ate dinner/breakfast, smoked/pizzed, waiting for a minivan, and so on. Then I drove in the night with a bunch of men (except those drivers were from other routes). But! The Surprise! He arrived in Paris safely and safely. They even brought him straight home.
These are the drivers, not the drivers.

Phone call to my wife:
Listen to me, beautiful girl. We took your husband hostage. If you want to get him alive, you have an hour to meet our demands.
The Wife:
I agree, what are the requirements?
You have to bring a beer box in the garage.
The voice of the husband in the telephone: “Two... two...”