XXX: How are you doing?

XXX: I wanted to ask you.

We need an employee who is a programmer, but not very smart.

XXX: If anyone has

YYY: Hmm, are there other requirements for the programmer?

When we just arrived in Germany, my sister and I needed to find new schools as soon as possible. The school year had to start in a few days, so the matter had to be resolved urgently. The problem was that the sister just finished the first class of Russian school and only knew a few words in German at the time. Such children are usually sent to a language course where they learn the language along with a bunch of immigrants. However, we lived in a small village where there were no such courses. However, the nearest primary school was located in the neighboring village larger, where children from all the surroundings came together. A few hundred students studied there. We went there.



The secretary immediately sent us to the director, promising that he would decide everything. However, when I saw him, I had some doubts about the choice of school. At the director's table was a man of thirty-five years in a semi-pancake. On the partially shaved head wore blue-green hairs. His mother also looked at him somewhat strangely, but the German father was not upset.



The director greeted everyone, shaking his hand. Even my little sister, who looked at him, opened her mouth. We are not that we never saw such people in Russia, but somehow in the director’s office we did not expect to see them. In ten minutes from the moment of the acquaintance, the uncle developed a tumultuous activity: called a couple of teachers into the office, called the education department, the school with language courses and elsewhere. At the same time, he offered us coffee, candy and asked how we were in Germany. Here is an honest word, its somewhat unusual appearance ceased to occupy us almost immediately, it was visible that the man was in his place.



There were two options: send your sister where she knows to learn the language, or try to teach her with German children at this school. The teacher and the director insisted on the second option. The classes here are small, rural children are very friendly and teachers are ready to help with all their efforts. In the end, my sister stayed with them, and we did not regret it.



She was very well received by her classmates, she immediately entered the school life. I still don’t quite understand how she handled it, explaining mostly gestures. However, the teachers praised her and said that she was making successes and understood everything perfectly. After classes, she came home on a school bus, did lessons and immediately ran with new girlfriends to explore the area. By the way, don’t believe that in these of your Europe children are only in the dude. We forged the sister out of the most unexpected places, from the cowhouse to the illegal shalash in the woods they built themselves. A month later, my sister began to talk. Before the autumn holidays, they had a school holiday, where the children organized a small concert with songs and scenes. The sister took an active part and sparked stormy applause.



Unfortunately, we lived in that village for another six months and moved. By that time, the child already spoke German quite easily, so that in the new school there was no question of a language course. Unfortunately, the new school was not so welcoming and cozy, the sister began conflicts with classmates and she no longer ran so happy to classes. All the teachers looked like they were.



I eventually linked my life to school and over the years I looked at a wide variety of teachers: rockers, glamorous bodies, Muslim women in shirts, noble grandmothers in cuddles of drunk cats and ready in full combat clothes. And I assure you that the teacher’s appearance speaks only about his taste, but not about his teacher’s talents.

I took the smartphone from my 12-year-old son. He noted:

I’m going to be without my phone all night.

“Well, as usual, when I was 12, no smartphones existed at all, and nothing survived somehow.

"Daddy, you will sometimes say that, you may think you were born under Brezhnev. and laughing.

I was actually born in 1980.

I took my daughter to kindergarten yesterday. For a month, I went to my grandmother’s village.

I come in the evening to pick up, the teacher "pleased" : "Your daughter fought with Nikita, she hit him first"

Okay, let’s get along. I contacted Nikitos' parents, we communicate well with them, they say everything is okay, we will figure out.

It remains to be solved.

I ask, “Fighting for what?”

It is silent. He will be resolved, but he is silent.

I’ll find out tonight. I did not interrogate.

I go to bed tonight, I confessed.

He says:

“I fought with Nikita because he called you an elephant.

and? ? to ? to ? to ? to ! to

“Father, your ears are like those of an elephant, crushed from below. Nikita noticed it. I asked Nikita as a friend not to get annoyed, and he was “Papa-Elf!” I scream at the whole group.

She fell asleep and went to the mirror. Yo-Mayo, lived forty years, did not pay attention. True, there is a little.

How to go to the garden tomorrow? These gnomes will laugh (

If I went to school, there might not be such attentive children.

In the courtyard 2019. Time is unremittingly running forward, and looking at my three-year-old daughter, I understand that I will not have time to shake my eye, as I find myself in the situation in which most parents find themselves.

Now my daughter doesn’t care what she’s wearing, how much her dad earns, and what iPhone they introduced a week ago. But very soon, everything will change.

In my three years, I was the same. Maybe at this age everyone is like that. Over time, we begin to want something. And not always what we want fits into the family budget or common sense.

When I graduated from high school, my only dream was to ride a good car around the city, riding beautiful girls. Idiot, you can say. Of course I will agree.) This is the normal dream of a boy from the countryside.

I dropped on my mom and dad’s brains long before that. Class from 9th. And only now, through the lens of time, I realized how competently my parents taught and studied me.

After I finished school and entered the school, I had a car of time, and had no idea what to do next. And here, like snow on the head, this long-awaited gift. Such a silver, such a long-awaited Volvo S80 (in principle I didn't care what Car, but would be expensive rich), but with one condition. The car is paid at 70%, the rest of the loan and you shut it off. Service, refuelling and other things are your problems. You call for help, the car is put out for auction.

Fortunately, there was no limit to me. I immediately went to work, grabbed all the offers that came, and...

Half a year later, I began to realize that I was riding the car from morning to night. To fill the soil of trouble, the other soil of trouble is already trouble (for which all money went). I don't ride girls, as either at work or sleep after work, and money then in the circle. Then came it – winter. The salary of the 18-year-old boy was not enough to cover even 30% of the loan from the car and its maintenance, and here it is still necessary to find money for winter tyres. I found, twisted, a year has passed since the moment of the purchase and here is another blow from the windshield... Dad says that I would have to provide an extended casco policy to the bank, and it is worth like four of my salary.

My parents borrowed money. Sold the car. I have been cold with the cars since then. I thought a thousand times before I wanted something.

So my mom and dad gave me what I wanted so much, they taught me what to want as much as I could and could.

Do not confuse, they bet on you or they bet on you.

by Sykun

I have met him before, then on the road, then on the sidewalk. And every time I could not stop, not to admire this spectacle and not only I alone, all the passers looked after him and smiled.
Imagine a man on a small electric jet, he runs at an astonishing speed of fifteen kilometers per hour, but looks at the same time as if he is trying to break the world record on the bottom of a dry lake. I would still understand - a bicycle helmet, well, in the bad end - a motorcycle, if not, a person is just learning and afraid to turn. But there was another case. In addition to the helmet and gloves, the self-driving machine was equipped as a terminator before the battle with the black hole: the turtle, shoulders, loaders, elbows and knees on the slats, armored trousers were sprinkled under the pants, and most importantly - these huge motobots, which barely fit on the self-driving machine with an area of one and a half feet. It would be a crazy grandfather with brittle bones, of course, or not, it can be seen from everything that young and healthy, even if the self-made man did not buy such a dead man. Well, you can’t be so afraid to fall at a speed of 15 km / h.

And today I was riding the big and at the end of the street again saw this figure, aimed at the future. The ghost rider ran at his favourite speed. I strained, worked with pedals, caught and equaled with him. For a while we were driving in parallel, until I thought about talking to the driver.
He started first:

Want to ask something?

Your backpack was unwrapped, as if nothing had happened.

The rider stopped, on a business basis put a carpet on a small foot, removed the backpack from his back and began to fasten:

I almost lost my wallet.
Not for what. And, sorry, all this protection has already suited you, falls, don’t give god, happened?

The man smiled with one eye (the rest of the face under the helmet was not visible) and replied:

Are you there too? Let’s make fun of me, humiliate me, I’m ready for it. It was angry before, and over time I got used to it and I even started to have fun. The most common thing I hear from others: “Look, look, the referral has gone!”I am an ordinary city crazy, raising people’s mood. What is wrong with this?
In fact, really nothing. You are right.
“But I will disappoint you and admit that every day, in the morning and in the evening, I drive by car one and a half kilometers from home to the building.
There I have a litre sportsbike in the underground garage.

All my life I thought I had a rich imagination. Until the moment when Putin said that if Sechin and Miller cut their wages at least slightly, they would immediately be cut off by the transnational oil and gas giants.

8 years ago I missed a dog wife in her soul did not wait for a month 2 and one day the wife calls and says that she met a man in the store with our maxi but the man does not give the dog says his wife in tears I go with a friend I look at the wife wipes people gathered all sympathize I rushed on the man he gave the dog with the words that we all b...s he left and the wife to the veterinarian to check the dog that he did not get sick, etc. and TP. A dog for a maximum of a year. And our 5 years.short picked out another dog.but it looks like two drops of water and responded to the name.

xxx: Found an advertisement for the sale of a tail on avito.

xxx: And now I understand that I have to call an absolutely unfamiliar person and arrange a meeting, to which I will come with money, and he will come with a tail.