xxx: I dreamed with Darth Vader riding on a wolzwagon frog)))

yyy: \m/
YYY: Cold
yyy: and I ran away from the militia with the tree because the law came out that you cannot throw the tree.
You do not have a tree.
XX: Where did you get the tree?
I'm not asking where you got the Darth Vader.

He scratched the finances and bought his wife an old, cheap, scratched car. She is not to be very happy.
I: What do you think, in our car the magnetol supports USB? and :)
Does my car support the magnet?? to

I am more concerned about the question, if they could go on foot, if they could fly on eagles all the time.

My friend, when asked why she doesn't like aquarium fish, replied: "Yes, they don't like them, they swim, they are silent, they think of me all kinds of things!"

This story was told to me by an army friend. In general, there was a party in the apartment, a lot of people and drinks...when everyone drunk a lot, a friend noticed that one girl was building his eyes, and not thinking long, went to buy champagne to the store.Advertised everyone that he was going to the store and the girl the same offered to make a company...And here in the corridor, shoes, the girl accidentally hit her poppy switch, the light went off, a friend thought that she wanted him to do a pleasant thing and dropped the pants, there was a surprise for both when she turned back the light;)

I read a methodology on labor protection at the company, where I just recently set up. I am pleased with two recommendations:
In no case to bury a person who has received an electrical trauma and gives weak signs of life into the ground, as this is not only useless, but also harmful.
Do not wrap the wound with insulation tape or web, as it may contain dangerous pathogens.
Such a feeling that quite recently the head of labor protection was a Galician Druid of the 80th Level, skillfully combining the wisdom of the centuries and the fresh currents of modernity.

My father has been oppressing me all his life and bearing my mother’s brains because I’m red and white (it’s not his son’s type) and he’s a dull brunette. But my brother, also a dull brunette, was worn on his neck all his life, allowing the asshole everything. As a result, on the anniversary of his parents' wedding, he once again raised this topic. My mother couldn’t stand it and said that I was his son, but my brother was his best friend’s son. My father didn’t believe me, I did a DNA test, my mother didn’t lie)))

AAA: Of all the foreigners I’ve heard, the Germans speak English better and better. English is much more understandable.
BBB: - It is not the Germans speak English more clearly, it is the Russians have a similar accent. and :)

You know the proverb?
Take your umbrella, there will be no rain.
I wear condoms with me. :D

I go to the public toilet at 10 p.m. Three cabins. From one, sounds sound like trahan trahan, I think I'll go out and wait)) let my wife think I'll call - I'll call (work in the same office). I don't take the phone, I listened to the music from the toilet)) 0_o
It’s the one who’s on her phone call and I’m on my alarm. The alarmist thought I...wake up...wake up.blaying...I was registered at 11 a.m., on the way to the Zags, I will go, I will write a statement))

My husband plays Skyrim, runs with some magical sword through the woods, my 7-year-old sister looks, stands next to me.
I:Sasha!Well, you can't cut animals in the woods with a child, she's watching!
M (already gone somewhere in the forest): baby, don’t worry, the deer is alive, he’s running somewhere.
At this time, he returns to that carcass, something presses, a deer liver appears on the screen.
I: Sasha, fuck, don’t break it with the child!! to
M: All, luckily I will revive him.
The elephant walks nearby.
R: Why doesn’t he run away from you?
M: Well I revived him, he now treats me well.
The star

Vladimir A
There are varieties of grass.
The grass that smokes.
Natalia F
Of course there is
Vladimir A
You are all drug addicts.
Why do everyone know this except me?
Natalia F
Because all plants have varieties.
Cultural at least.
You would be surprised that the potatoes have varieties.
Vladimir A
What?
And the card?

Lena
You are so contextual.
:D

Tosha
) ) )
Let’s take context.

Lena
) ) )
Liquid
Trying the sarcasm.

Do you have a Twitter?
Zachary: No, I am a natural

The Prehistory. Construction of a new airport terminal. The customer is a large German company. The documentation is bilingual, respectively, in Russian and English. There is a lot of documentation, so the translation into English was ordered by the translation bureau. Before sending to Germany, we check the correctness of the translation. The airport is new, beautiful, with huge glass lamps on the roof – an architectural idea!
The story itself. Writes the architect (AR) to the asche manager (M):
AR: Fuck, I can’t send this to the Germans!!! This is shit!!! to
M is mm?
AR: these nursery translations instead of the terminal, the air defense base was taken away!!! to
M: In the sense?
They are all translated by Google, shit!!! to
AR: Do you know how these crazy "zenite lights on the roof" were translated?? to
Antiaircraft lamps on a roof!!! to
AR: anti-aircraft projectors on the blood, fuck!!! Suki, they would still have a silk coupled there and a couple of earth-air complexes!!! And such a shit in each volume bag of three!
M: Blayajajaja... the Germans are shrinking, they were apologizing again at the last meeting for the 41st...
Fuck the translators! I’m not going to pay them for Google. They translated “multi-world space of the atrium” as “full of light space of an atrium”.
M: Full of light! and atrium! Children of Flowers! Hippie is fucking! All of them shit!

From the judgment:
The court acknowledged as proven that the defendants stole a welding machine worth 582 UAH, as well as a bag for 1 UAH, causing the victim material damage for a total of 283 UAH.

My wife works in a clinic, she takes blood for tests.

I need to go to a psychiatrist. :D
Tagged: oooo
Olka: It has already passed
Olka: It would be better to write an oculist
Yes, you don’t need an oculist, but a psychiatrist – be kind :)
See also: Oga
Yeah, you don’t see where you’re rolling – the main thing is to do it with poker faces :)
Olga: Yes Yes

Want a joke about psychologists?
and yes.
And why?

Re: FW: FW: RE: RE: FW: RE: URGENT!!!and "
YYY: This is the problem of structural organizations

And the cognac?
No, I won’t go anywhere.
Alexander: What is it?
Tagged: guess
Alexander D...
Alexander: Di...
The Dip...
The Diploma...
Marina is good
The Diplomatic!! to
You’ve gotten a diploma!
Marina is
I’ll save you from the monster’s lips!